SCP-3470 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3470.

page 1 of 3123next »

DRIVE SAFELY KIDS

A Random Day 20 Jul 2017 04:17

I've been doing a lot of short articles lately. This is one of those - conceived and written up within six hours. While driving home from the gym I saw my brother and waved to him. Then I thought about how weird that looked and was like - damn it would be even weirder if there were eyes in the palm of my hand. Plus I've wanted to write a tale now where the MTFs and the D-class survive by being competent.

Many thanks to Taffeta, Shaggydredlocks, Modern_Erasmus, and not_a_seagull for critique.

I hope you enjoy! See more of my work on my author page!

Last edited on 14 Jan 2018 21:05 by A Random Day Show more

Modern_Erasmus 20 Jul 2017 04:21

Psh, why send an MTF when Dr. Gerald can easily neutralize this on his own?

In all seriousness, wonderfully weird and excellent logs. +1

Scorpion451 20 Jul 2017 15:04

Well, they do have to figure out how to get him into the driver's seat.

RJB_R 20 Jul 2017 04:25

The main anomaly here doesn't feel fully developed in the article, the logs built on top of it are okay but I never really felt any tension or gravity to them. The dialogue and general tone all read like stuff I've seen here before. Maybe a little more time devoted to the spooky car and laying out a more defined foundation for the logs could improve it.

---

Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

DrMagnus 20 Jul 2017 12:50

I absolutely love the application of clinical tone here. Something so crazy is described perfectly, and this could honestly be one of the examples I show newbies in the future when they've got tone issues.

That being said, the article itself is a bit shallow. I'm with Roget on this, that it could use some development, in improving the impact, but it's still an easy upvote for me.

Leveritas 20 Jul 2017 16:42

This is great. The logs add to it as well, the dialogue is natural, especially since the phrasing of the D-class and the MTF are contrasted here.

Genshed 20 Jul 2017 16:46

"I refuse to be killed by a goddamn Ford."

Your +1 was guaranteed at that point. I agree with Leviritas that the contrasting dialogue worked well. I also like that nobody got killed by a goddamn Ford.

Pata H 20 Jul 2017 16:55

I like this one.

The skip is a classic Series 1 feeling monster, and the logs have a lot of character.

And you fight the cliche by having nobody die. Which actually makes sense, it's not that dangerous if you know it's coming and what it does.

Rookierookie 22 Jul 2017 09:29

L5 and L6.

Jacob Conwell 20 Jul 2017 18:32

I dig it. We have no shortage of mimicry predators on this site, but this article still entertained, especially with the logs at the end. I personally feel that the brevity of the article works in its favor, as its not allowed to overstay its welcome and spin its wheels.

Either way, +1. Well done ARD.

darth dxVxb 20 Jul 2017 19:22

Really want more logs added to this! +1 beep beep!

CupertinoEffect 25 Jul 2017 08:14

Could probably use a photo of a Ford Anglia to go with this.

page 1 of 3123next »