SCP-3864 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3864.

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Flawed 18 Jul 2017 01:04

Eyyyy you caved in

I think the sentences describing their actions (like S.A and S.B share a laugh) should be italized not bolded to make it look neater. Just a suggestion.

Also

I just love fucking cheeseburgers, man.

This sounds so wrong.

ETA: As far as I understand, the painting only record the last person to enter it, right? If so, the entrance of Subject B would make Subject A disappear. For more tragic value, stop all testing, thus leaving Subject B in eternal guilt and suffering.

Last edited on 18 Jul 2017 01:32 by Flawed Show more

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 01:44

It is kind of implied, actually, as in the beginning of the article it states that there has never been more than one subject inside of SCP-3864.

Billith 18 Jul 2017 01:20

cute, and tragic.

+1

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 01:47

Thank you so much!

NaxinD 18 Jul 2017 01:25

A question that kept pounding my head since the first stage of your draft¹: The guy in the pictures is you?

Footnotes

1. But i couldn't give critique.

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 01:43

that picture is indeed me! I am a sexy motherfucker and decided to grace the foundation with my image

NaxinD 18 Jul 2017 01:47

Oh my.

You and your house are absolutely fabulous.

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 01:51

Aren't we? We are. lol

Modern_Erasmus 18 Jul 2017 03:15

Wow, this has certainly changed a ton from the original draft. +1 for a nice d-class love story!

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 11:14

Thank you thank you! Three weeks and 8 drafts haha

TL333s 18 Jul 2017 13:01

I'm sorry, I can't get over the fact that those are photographs with a filter applied.

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 14:36

I can respect that. Although, you do have to admit it was probably the easiest way to avoid any accidental copyright issues.

That being said, I'm definitely open to suggestions if you think there is a way I could improve the pictures, or even a good replacement for them.

(account deleted) 19 Jul 2017 01:32

Like the new pictures better?

DrSevere 18 Jul 2017 15:33

Language is a tiny bit awkward in places (I have trouble believing a rough-around-the-edges D-Class would use the phrase "Bah, I feel no pity for him"), but otherwise this is great. Really nice cleanup of the earlier version, easy +1.

(account deleted) 18 Jul 2017 18:20

Thanks so much! And yeah, I kind of had that feeling too, but at the same time, I felt it gave a little mystery to the character. Almost a bit too…sophisticated sounding for the standard D-Class, kind of makes you wonder about the background.

darth dxVxb 18 Jul 2017 20:14

Meh. Seemed more of a tale.

Last edited on 18 Jul 2017 20:14 by darth dxVxb Show more

DATA EXPLODED 22 Jul 2017 00:32

I like this one, but I feel like it's a bit uncharacteristic of the foundation to stop experimenting on things unless they pose a serous threat to existence (and maybe even not then). I think this has awesome potential for more tests. For instance, what would happen in the case of:

• Two people viewing the painting at once (or even more; a team of field agents, maybe?)
• Someone equipped with tools to experiment with the painting world (Seems like the people keep their belongings when they get transported)
• Painting additional objects into the painting
• Someone with a paintbrush and paint entering the painting

Great work so far, really enjoyed it.

(account deleted) 23 Jul 2017 03:01

Who said tests were stopped completely? Only tests involving persons that are close or have had previous interaction with SCP-3864-1 were stopped.

DATA EXPLODED 23 Jul 2017 03:33

Whoops, guess I didn't read carefully enough. Still though, I really enjoyed it and I cannot wait to see where the experiments go from here.

(account deleted) 23 Jul 2017 19:35

Why thank you, sir! I do plan on adding more experiment logs in the future. Sort of like it actually happens lol

Mendelssohn 02 Sep 2017 09:51

Ultimately I feel like I should downvote this. The weird tangent it goes off on narrative-wise leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

Late credits

(account deleted) 13 Oct 2017 12:00

Yo this has been a while coming, but I forgot to credit people who helped me out with crit. So thanks to everyone on IRC and the forums.

Special thanks to Modern_Erasmus and -9Volt- for the direct crit both on the forums and in IRC

Super special thanks to The Great Hippo for practically writing the Containment Procedures when they were cutting them down for me, and helping me learn to write them better.

Other critique thanks:
DrSevere
Leveritas
The_Raff
JackalRelated
Pedantique
Flawed
Cereza

Thanks to all else as well!

Last edited on 10 Sep 2018 18:52 by (account deleted) Show more

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