Posted. I think this has the most potential to be a solid SCP of what I've put up so far, so I'm very open to feedback please.
SCP-453 / Discussion
Forum
» Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions
» SCP-453
This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-453.
Fantastic job! This has always always been one of my all-time favorite SCPs. I almost wish you’d write more incident scripts. :) I’m going to have to check out some of your other Skips now.
I like it. It's interesting, and it makes me think. I'd like it if I knew what exactly would happen in the Plurality Cult one, but that's just me.
In my imagination, it's actually very variable, unlike the other scripts. Whatever happens, it results in massive civilian casualties and is to be avoided at all costs.
There is a small clue in the date that I didn't redact. However, I'd assume the public information related to that date would be a cover-up for the actual event.
I just Wikipedia'd the date. Nice.
I'm impressed. This is great.
Upvoted, even without the Plurality Cult this would be excellent.
Possible spoiler question:
Is it the earthquake?
I really liked this, the amount of work you put into it really shows.
Two minor things: the footnote seems really random and I feel like the Foundation wouldn't use the Lovecraftian Locket for some random guy with a spinal injury, but whatever.
Secondly, I personally prefer it when really long SCPs divide up into separate documents. I think it would be easier read if you put the scripts on a different page, but others may feel differently, so do what you want =)
But yeah, all in all, well done.
On the locket: If I get enough complaints I'll remove it. One of the secondary goals I had with this article was to show a more humane side to the generally vile Foundation, in that because this SCP involves civilians rather than D-class, they do what they can to stop people from getting hurt, or help them if they do.
On the sub-pages: I debated splitting it for a long time. I still might. Since the Scripts are really necessary to the narrative of the article, I settled for now with putting it all on one page to show the importance of the whole thing. It does make for a hefty friggin' page, though, and I am not crazy about that either.
This article is, so to speak, hella bomb. Nice work, dude.
I don't really mind the long page, other successful SCPs do it too, and people don't have to read the full page if they want.
This is great. Fresh, interesting, creepy, and just plain weird. The humane-Foundation edge is refreshing, even if I do think that using the Locket was a bit much. The sheer uniqueness of the idea carries it right through any problems. +1.
In response to feedback here and in the chat I've split the scripts into multiple articles. We'll see how that works, what do people think at present?
I liked it the other way, and I'm usually against long SCPs
Admin, SCP Wiki
I agree with bright.
The progression of the scripts allowed for a buildup of tension within the piece that enhanced the entire article. As it is now, each script is a standalone piece of its own, which makes the plurality cult bit just seem narmy because it lacks the buildup and support of the other two.
If I had read the article as it is the first time, I honestly might not have upvoted.
Teh controversy.
I'm neutral, but I lean a little more toward the way I started it out. Since many of the chatters who helped me get this thing worked out in the first place like the old way too, I'll revert it. If someday I add more scripts, perhaps we'll revisit this.
wow. this is amazing. i love it. mad props to you, man
leave it all in the main article. there's articles considerably longer than this one, having it all there really makes it more effective. i might suggest writing up a complete script with all the actions and lines and linking to that just for fun, but it certainly wouldnt be necessary, this article is great on its own
Wow, this is just awesome. I just have one minor question. Assuming the Foundation numbered the scripts in the order they observed and cataloged them, why did it take them until numbers 21, 43, and 82 to get to the three scripts that supposedly occur 80% of the time? I know this is being a bit picky, but it just bothered me a bit when I noticed it.
A couple reasons. The one in the article is:
In its current configuration, SCP-453 has shown preference for three (3) Scripts in particular
In other words, different Scripts have been preferred under different arrangements of the nightclub. For example, if it was an open field, scripts related to parties in the open would be used. Something to do with the current layout of the club encourages the Cheating Wife, the Senator's Visit, and the Plurality Cult. Had the Foundation just found 453 a little while ago, those three might be labelled 1, 4, and 13, give or take.
The other reason is not at all mentioned in the article or even really in subtext: in my mind, the Foundation came into control of the club with a little bit of prior information about how to handle it, which may have included at least a cursory list of Scripts. Do with that non-canon information as you will :)
/forum/t-286033/scp-453#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
