Alrighty, here it is, A Ritual. All feedback is appreciated.
Well, I'll post it anyways.
I was expecting a "Step 5 omitted. [DATA REDACTED], killing all personnel. Dr. Break expressed concern before test, but was ignored."
The test log seems to imply that this ritual has been done many times even in the past. But it needs plutonium? Am I misreading the images the alien transmitted?
I like this one, but I feel like it needs more.
That was not the implication I was going for with the images, but I can see where you get that from. I need to work on the series of images to better explain what I was going for.
The idea is that the ritual has been performed at least once before (when the grimoire was discovered).
I was misinterpreting the naked ritualists, there's really no reason to believe they were from the far past because of a lack of clothes, but it seems odd that they decided to do the ritual without pants when that doesn't seem to be an important feature. Why did the alien show images of that pre-Foundation casting, though, versus all of the Foundation's multiple tests? That's just me asking out of curiosity, that kind of information doesn't need to go into the article to make it better and might over explain it.
Sorry, what I was actually going for is that what they are seeing isn't memories but a message; basically, "stop performing the ritual." The humans are naked because the alien things aren't familiar with human clothes; that is how they see humans. I think I will tweak the wording so that this comes through better.
I really like this one. A "Satanic" ritual that's something else entirely.
This line:
Document SCP-433-001 is contained within a large tome found in [DATA EXPUNGED], Russia.
The data expunged there feels incorrect. See, data expunged is commonly used to imply that a large swath of text has been removed; paragraphs, or even pages. For simply removing proper nouns, use redacted, or just the black bars.
I say we place SCP-682 in the middle and see what happens.
And then they might send over their SCP-682 just to spite us.
If this ritual is one of the ones with no untranslated symbols… Why are there untranslated symbols present in that little transcript?
Okay… I've a minor quibble here.
This is a book, which does nothing on its own. It needs active participants to perform the ritual as well as several components. So why is it Euclid?
The book isn't the SCP. The SCP, if you want to be technical, is knowledge of the ritual; you can perform it as long as you know how, you don't have to have the book at all. SInce knowledge is so easy to leak and spread, it is Euclid.
I disagree. There's no reason for this not to be Safe class.
Reading the description of Euclid, it is essentially SCPs of an unpredictable nature that could cause substantial harm if they breached containment. This particular SCP is poorly understood, and clearly represents a danger to the general populace, since there is a potential threat forom SCP-433-1. Combining that with the fact that the knowledge of the SCP could easily spread to point of being uncontainable should it be leaked, a containment breech becomes a real danger.
The flashing image came across as a message the first time I read it, mostly because the naked humans I equated with those on the Voyager plaque- a base representation of human morphology.
All in all, it stands, is tight, concise, and enjoyable- like my old lady. Jokes aside, article is well cone, upvoted.
1) If the book is written in Latin, why does it have untranslated symbols? Shouldn't it be combinations of letters which correspond to no known Latin word?
2) How is Plutonium-238 written in the tome? Is it just a simple transliteration of "Plutonium-238", as if written by a current day person with an understanding of what plutonium is? Or is it described in an esoteric manner, as if written by someone with no understanding of modern atomic theory?
I enjoyed the SCP and upvoted, but I would like to hear the answer to question 2.
if your reading this your gay