Jaws 20: Jaws Goes to Portland(s)
Thanks to SpectralDragon,
A Random Day,
DrBleep,
Weryllium, Aiden Eldritch does not match any existing user name,
mlister (bonus points for coming up with CNC) and
GreenWolf for crit!
Special thanks to LordStonefish for being a pleasure to write this with, making it one the most fun experiences I have had on this site.
(also I can finally feel cool now by writing something for Third Law)
EDIT: Renaming anticoncept waterpuppy to Gulpo