UIU File: 2014-014 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page UIU File: 2014-014.

LordStonefish 9Volt collab yay

NatVoltaic 13 Jul 2017 23:52

Jaws 20: Jaws Goes to Portland(s)

Thanks to SpectralDragon, A Random Day, DrBleep, Weryllium, Aiden Eldritch, mlister (bonus points for coming up with CNC) and GreenWolf for crit!

Special thanks to LordStonefish for being a pleasure to write this with, making it one the most fun experiences I have had on this site.

(also I can finally feel cool now by writing something for Third Law)

EDIT: Renaming anticoncept waterpuppy to Gulpo

Last edited on 14 Jul 2017 14:28 by NatVoltaic Show more

Re: LordStonefish 9Volt collab yay

LordStonefish 13 Jul 2017 23:55

me too now im also a third law boy

i did it ma

EDIT: image is from here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valley_Fair_Shopping_Center#/media/File%3AMarcusValleyValueCinemas1-29-2010.jpg

Last edited on 14 Jul 2017 00:36 by LordStonefish Show more

Decibelles 13 Jul 2017 23:55

I sort of wanted to no-vote, because the payoff for this more or less came in the last tab, and even then not for a couple paragraphs, but I think you make it work well enough that I just can't deny it. It's pretty cool.

LordStonefish 13 Jul 2017 23:58

Unfortunately, the UIU format dictates that if you want to do anything interesting with it, the story must come in the last tab. I hate it too, but hey we gotta roll with it.

Last edited on 13 Jul 2017 23:58 by LordStonefish Show more

Raggabrash 13 Jul 2017 23:57

Modus Operandi: The entity moves through space and consumes a concept within a spherical space (radius of 23') around its mouth.

Is this right?

Otherwise, this is pretty good. +1

---

Situation normal, Cap'n! Spiraling out of control!

NatVoltaic 14 Jul 2017 00:04

Yup.

EDIT: Wow it took me several months to notice the repetition of "space." I've changed the second space to region.

Last edited on 31 Oct 2017 11:04 by NatVoltaic Show more

Taffeta 14 Jul 2017 00:22

I love this anticoncept waterpuppy so very much. The chaos in the shopping mall has to be one of my favourite "action scenes" I've read so far simply for how utterly amazing the mental image evoked is.

NatVoltaic 14 Jul 2017 01:24

anticoncept waterpuppy

I think this is my new favorite term and I need to use it more.

Jacob Conwell 14 Jul 2017 01:28

Hey hey, this is pretty neat.

Considering how big a role the UIU plays in 3Ports, its nice to see a UIU GoI doc going over how they might handle the anomalous when the ball is in their court. On top of that, the nods to all the various bits of the 3Ports canon made the city really come alive to me as a reader.

+1. Job well done.

SpectralDragon 17 Jul 2017 02:18

I am going to love and cherish this shark for all eternity.

Zerox1892 11 Nov 2017 03:13

Only complaint: Feds don't "break into" they "raid"

Last edited on 11 Nov 2017 03:13 by Zerox1892 Show more

aismallard 24 Jan 2019 19:28

Interesting concept, setting, and plot. Though, I feel like the AoA don't come across as that deep, just kind of generic blind/stupid cultists. +1 overall

GreenRaven 21 Sep 2021 09:14

J. Landecker Smith, a charismatic performance anartist known both for his street art with animals and a history of mental illness

(taps foot)

Take it from someone who's battled depression (which runs in the family), who has (now adult) kids who've battled depression, and the younger one has anxiety to boot, and whose dad has PTSD from 'Nam (although he'll never admit it) -just having mental illness is NOT a black mark.

There has to be something more to the mental illness then "has it" for it to be an influence on his actions and to mentioned in the summary in the file in the first place.

No vote. I'm not downvoting because the rest is good.

Last edited on 21 Sep 2021 09:15 by GreenRaven Show more

Decibelles 12 Dec 2021 13:06

In no way does the document imply that mental illness is a black mark against Smith. The keyphrase you're looking for here is:

known […]for

He is known, in part, to his mental illness; you are meant to fill in the blanks there. It does not indicate that it was necessarily an influence on his actions, nor what drove him to do stuff. Besides, it isn't like a US Government agency in the early 2010s would be exactly kind towards mental illness in suspects in the first place. So even if you read that implication in there, it's in character with the UIU anyhow. Unless you characterize the UIU to be kinder about these sorts of things than other US Government agencies, which I do not think is quite the case.

Last edited on 12 Dec 2021 13:11 by Decibelles Show more

NatVoltaic 12 Dec 2021 16:45

I literally have schizophrenia

-1

Ralliston 12 Dec 2021 12:18

I did not enjoy this, at all. This article is extremely high concept, but doesn't offer the level of polish and thought that needs to go into such an article to work properly for me. As a result, this article collapses under its own concept weight, not being able to support it. Additionally, this is awkwardly phrased, disjoint on many levels, and, despite its relatively short length, boring. All the article does is introduce something that is, on surface, high concept, only to bog it down by endless reports that don't add anything.

It's a downvote from me.

Last edited on 12 Dec 2021 13:19 by Ralliston Show more