SCP by Series
Other SCP
Feed
Stories
Discovery
Random
I like the concept in general and the article is well-written. Just a couple of touch-ups here and there and I think it'll stay as one of the better articles on the wiki. I especially like the end where they explain how they broke it. The addendums were well-written and used properly to tell the SCP's story instead of being used to fill in the blanks in the main body like a lot of people usually do.
And the photos are a splendid choice. I love them.
I like the idea in general, but it could use some tweaking.. You get points for the animated gif, tho :)
For the first few times I saw it open, I had been reading and looked back for the image staring at me to close it's eyes, as though hiding it's staring… I was mortified the first three times, then I tested it by dragging it to a new window, I love the gif.
Great concept but sloppy writing in some parts make it hard to read. I don't really like the kill method either, I think it adds an uneccessary ick factor when creepy probably would have been better.
Actually, yes, fluorosulfuric acid exists. FS03H. It's stronger than either sulfuric or hydrofluoric acids. It's not nice stuff.
Edit for history's sake: originally this was a reply to something no longer in the above post. Carry on.
Could you specify a little more on what parts you think that have "sloppy writing", so I can fix them?
It was really jarring for me when I got to the part where you described the hole. I was focused on weird moving pictures then suddenly a hole in the ground with pee in it.
It just felt like a bad transition. I do like the new hidden kill.
I'm actually gonna agree with banethingy. The kill factor did diminish the horror for me somewhat.
Yeah, it was a bit odd, and didn't seem to fit the pattern. I was expecting the tunnel to more sort of "swallow one up."
I tried something less over the top (I hope) then "death by acid bath". What you guys think? Better, worse, same?
Should I also get rid of the "human bait"?
Well, I think it's an improvement, but I'd be inclined to make the noises less obviously indicative of what is occuring; you've pretty much kept the person dying, just taken it 'off-camera' as it were. Perhaps something like 'strange mechanical noises' are heard, then when it opens the victim is no where to be seen? It allows for the reader to draw their own conclusions (with you strongly pointing them in a direction), but leaves the reality open.. Which can work well, as the reader THINKS they know what happened.. but wonders if it's something worse.
Oh, and I'd stick "Recording devices like cameras placed inside SCP-700-1 will be destroyed as soon as the hatch closes by unknown means." into the past tense; since you are reporting observed events, it works better to place them in the past tense, rather than state what WILL happen. (Common problem on this site.. You are the author, so you KNOW what will happen. :) )
Is this one based off of this?
http://www.99rooms.com/
So, you took the idea from this site, and thought to pass it off as your own?
Admin, SCP Wiki
No. The only thing the site provided was the images. That site doesn't even have a history/plot; it is just 99 rooms with creepy images that move.
I could find other graffiti art to illustrate the article, if you think using them counts as stealing the site's idea.
I'm looking through 99 Rooms now. It's an art site, essentially, with a "tour" of a fictitious urban location. All of the images on this page are from that site, but the concept of the place and its effects are Enma's. The site contains no indications of these effects, it's just neat art.
I'll let you know if my opinion changes when I get through all the rooms.
Edit: Got through all the rooms. No change. It's amazing art, though a bit pixel-hunty at times. Frustratingly so. I can see how it inspired this, but this page contains no direct takes from that site other than the page images and "art that moves," which isn't exactly a new idea by itself.
I know they pay you to be a complete asshole, Bright, but you really knock it out of the park sometimes.
Enma, you're fine.
Let's drop this now, kay folks?
For asking if something was ripped off? No, a complete asshole would have declared it a knock off immediately, and set about trashing it. I asked, to make sure it wasn't.
Admin, SCP Wiki
The tone of your reply was accusatory and implied you'd already jumped to that conclusion. I'm not the only one who read it that way, as you can see.
Being vigilant about plagiarism is all well and good, but let's not start running around like a bunch of furries at an art theif convention, shall we?
There might be a time to make the case that we should be nicer people, but this totally isn't it.
Bright didn't make any gratuitous comments or insults, and just because it seemed like he did in your imagination doesn't give you grounds to fly off the handle like you're accusing him of doing. :/ Sounds to me like you've got a chip on your shoulder that you need to work out elsewhere, mate.
Please, let's follow Ducks advice and drop this discussion. Bright didn't offend me with his question, so there is no need to prolong this any further.
Question. The article mentions that the Foundation found the SCP after a vendor started selling removed sections of the art, but the end of the article mentions that attempts at removing sections of wall resulted in yadda yadda yadda failure. What's the deal with that?
Was the vendor using some method Foundation researchers haven't thought of? Did something change? Or is it just an oversight from a writing perspective?
Indeed, Yoric. That last goal was magnificent.
The problem was that the Foundation tried to break a part of 700-1. That is what made it retreat; taking a block from anywhere else in the building doesn't really do anything.
Man, City Name just can't catch a break. Or a ball. Better luck next year :(
Part of the confusion about the incident log might spring from the phrase "SCP-700-1 walls". It threw me on the first read, too… It's kind of a muddy way of making it posessive, although "SCP-700-1's walls" also looks a bit awkward. "walls of SCP-700-1" might be a better bet, in the two places that phrase shows up.
"walls immediately surrounding SCP-700-1 proper" perhaps?
Hum… I think I'll make it so that the D-Class was ordered to remove 700-1's grate. When he tried to pull the grate, blah blah blah failure. It'll be less ambiguous this way. Besides, it makes sense that the Foudation would like to know what was inside the room below 700-1…
That photo of 700-3 looks familiar.
I know this'll sound moronic, but I swear to Christ it's taken from a puzzle map from the HL1 mod Sven-Coop. That figure walks around, especially when a puzzle is solved.
On a more serious note!
It's solid, but I think accidentally deactivating it is a bit of a cop-out. Further edits seem to have gotten rid of the writing problems.
700-3 was taken from the Site 99 rooms, as were the two other pictures.
Well, it's deactivated for now. Maybe one day it'll re-appear. Maybe it'll even re-appear in another part of the world, in another factory, and become a new 700. That's more or less what I meant to imply (although re-reading it I see that I really didn't leave any clue that that might happen :P)
On another note, there's no need for double posting, RZ. You can edit you posts by clicking in "options" and "edit".
Huh. I swear that figure's pretty familiar.
I think that's the cop-out. You don't need to be as subtle as a brick, but I think bits about containment and sightings can help that.
Yeah, I know. I was being facetious.
I think that-
"Further tests have confirmed that SCP-700-2 depicted in photographs will appear to move only to subjects with a previous history of [DATA EXPUNGED]"
Is genius addition, I like being brought into the SCP that way, what's wrong with me that I can see the pictures move? Also I'm a big girl and moving gifs terrify me.
I agree with all of this. That gif terrifies me without it moving. I don't even want to look at it again.
This was a really well done SCP. I really like the tone and stuff. The actual writing was good but it would not have scared me. The gif though… that sold it. +1!!
Oh fuck why would you even do that.
