I expect others' opinions may differ (I've seen people rip into articles for extensive redaction), but I like the use of expungement in here. Enough information is given to give a clear shape to the creature, but the horrible details are left up to each reader's imagination. +1
SCP-279 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-279.
I like this one, but I think there needs to be some cleanup for quality and tone. The idea itself is solid though.
Unstoppable mysterious wanderer? Freaky in an interesting sort of way.
I do have a question, though (just one, I swear): If this same man walks through the same town frequently, following something vaguely resembling a set routine, and is sufficiently distinctive to creep out people who look at him, shouldn't the sheer number of people who would recognize him prohibit the use of amnesiacs to keep his presence under wraps?
While he would look pretty odd in a crowd, I don't think he would be odd enough for everyone next to him to realize that there's something seriously wrong with him, if that's the issue you're addressing. It's only when people begin to notice that he's not quite human, and are vocal about it, that the amnesiacs are brought in. (i.e., saying hi to him when he walks past and not receiving an answer, compared to waking up and seeing him in a corner of your room, staring quietly.)
The real problem I have is that he's persistent. If he's spotted and noted for strange behavior once, then amnesiacs would make sense. However, he's been wandering around for some time, apparently, so it's likely that people who saw him once and were then made to forget will probably see him again; depending on how you interpret the workings of amnesiacs, that could be a problem. If he's persistent enough, he'd become a fixture that everyone or almost everyone will recognize at sight; at that point, you'd have to start giving the whole town amnesiacs on a regular basis or somehow remove all people from his vicinity.
Worse, if anyone he touches inexplicably vanishes, how many people each day who jostle him accidentally go missing? This SCP would be a real pain to cover up…
This was actually a pretty interesting point, thanks for bringing it up.
So, I decided that I had only a few options that would result in him being reasonably contained. 1. He avoids people, so it really doesn't matter too much. 2. It's a small population, so it really doesn't matter that much. 3. It's a rather large problem, and personnel are actively attempting to fix it.
As the first two were kind of copouts, on top of being uninteresting, I decided to type up an Addendum.
I wrote it somewhat late at night, and somewhat haphazardly, so it'd be nice if you could tell me if you think it improves or takes away from the SCP, thanks. ^^
I think the addendum helps significantly. You might want to proofread it a bit (what's with that paragraph spacing?) but the article is definitely better for it.
The superfluous use of [REDACTED], [EXPUNGED], and █████ are really killing this. I know it adds mystery, but it looks very unprofessionally done. Additionally, there is some major editing that needs to be done in regards to grammar and tone. Clean up the article a bit, and I'll definitely give this an upvote.
Frankly, I disagree completely. This is one of the best uses of Redacted and Expunged data I've seen in a while. It really gives the idea that something was cut off mid sentence because it was sensitive.
I'm upvoting, for the reason that this is exactly what an SCP should be to me. Strange enough to need containment, difficult to contain, and not necessarily dangerous. Good format, and great use of the foundation jargon.
One nitpick: There is no level 5 security clearance. Its only 1-4 then O5 level.
Edit: I feel like I should clarify. The use of REDACTED is too often only one word that everyone can already guess. This article takes out whole phrases or sentences that leave the reader guessing as to what is actually there. That's why it's so effective. The DATA EXPUNGED is good, but not the same. Remember, REDACTED comes from a higher up, EXPUNGED generally comes from the writer of the report due to proceedure. (Aka, the O5's don't want you reading parts of this, whereas joe shmo office worker writing this report can't include specifics due to protocol)
You're wrong. If you read the clearance page, you'll find there is a level five security clearance, for members of Senior Staff who have to come in contact with multiple SCPs on a regular basis, such as Site Directors.
Please do not try and pass off your personal opinion as fact, it confuses the newbies.
Admin, SCP Wiki
Reworked the sentence structure, word choice, deleted some portions deemed a tad anvilicious, hopefully polished up the tone. I really don't know how to make a tone better, so I'll just hope that it worked.
Mein Gott, My use of 'eradicate' for 'kill' actually made me cringe. But I'm unsure whether 'eliminate' is any better.
I don't know… I'm not feeling this one.
Why haven't we just evacuated the town, like we did with the Love Canal back in the seventies? This doesn't really seemed contained to me. If it needs people for whatever its purpose, why haven't we set up a sort of Potemkin Village for it?
If I'm reading the article right, they've got a plan for just that on hand, but the people in charge deem that it's not worth the expenses at present time. It might improve the article to clarify that though.
From the third paragraph of the description: "At approximately 3:00 AM, SCP-279 has vanished for two hours and returned in its original state at another location in D███." Is this supposed to be a nightly occurrence? I'm guessing it is, but I want to confirm before I go in and change the verb tenses there (has vanished/returned -> vanishes/returns).
Also, you had referred to 279 as both him and it, so I changed all the pronouns to it.
Thanks, Quikngruvn.
Made a few tweaks to the end of the SCP, addressed Flames' concern, and switched it to the right tense while I was at it.
Just a note, I had to crop that picture so that you wouldn't be able to see the Safeway shopping bags. I very, very briefly considered leaving them in, as a bit describing how 279 had 1. stolen some lady's groceries 2. taken a sudden interest in produce shopping might have been amusing.
Upvoted as my first action on the site because out of all the SCPs I've read, this one sticks in my head the most.
Two thoughts: I actually liked this better when it was more vague at the end. You may have provided a little too much detail of how its horrible. I don't get the chill I did when I knew it was secretly bad, but I had no idea why. As cool as the arm up the [EXPUNGED] is, omitting it leaves the reader in the same boat as the agents and focused my attention more on the creepiness of his teleportation. Which in turn strengthens the twist ending, vague though it may have been. And the picture you just nailed, 100%.
About the containment procedures, I think they're missing something. To me, it should convey containment of the SCP by containing the populace around it in a way that shows the apathy of the Foundation. Something like,
A disinformation campaign is currently underway to sway public opinion to the idea that SCP-279 is 'just an eccentric reckloose recluse living in the community.' Propaganda has been largely successful.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
