New SCP
Collaborative article between Ashm and Blossom Morphine.
SCP-398 / Discussion
Forum
» Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions
» SCP-398
This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-398.
There's just… Well, there's just not much to it. The actual article is about six lines of text. It doesn't say anything at all about what the SCP does. The closest it gets is mentioning that it appears differently to different subjects. How? What does it do? Sure, you can get a basic idea of what it does from the logs, but that information really needs to be in the entry proper.
Also, what happens if you send two people in at once? Or a robotic drone? Does everyone who goes in end up disappearing? If so, why isn't that mentioned in the article? Have they tried attaching leads to the subjects to haul them out?
The basic idea seems interesting, but this needs a substantial rewrite.
I'm with Mann: article needs to describe the hallway in more detail before you get to exploration logs. Also, the Containment Procedures could use a look-over to fix assorted grammar errors. It's not a bad idea, though. The Foundation does have a few mind-traps already, but I don't recall having one like this.
I think it's a good concept, I was afraid it would be another impossible hallway what leads to bigger on the inside than it should be, but its really just a psychological wish-granting trap.
I don't think "wish-granting" is an apt description. Check the second log.
Yeah, it was "getting better" later on. He was lured in further by a false hope of reward, even though everything he saw up to then was awful.
I saw it more as a heaven/hell metaphore.
The "good" agent saw things that made him happy until he chose one he could be happy with forever.
The "Bad" D-class saw bad things, but was compelled to stay there forever seeing more and more bad things.
I agree it needs a bit more detail on the hows and whys of the effect, but the concept is enjoyable.
Well, if it's a psychological wish-granting trap… What would happen if they sent in Dr. Gears. Would it appear to him as a blank hallway with blank rooms?
Also, no attempt seems to have been made at forcible retrieval of subjects with a harness attached to a cable.
It's interesting, for sure. However, I have to agree with the others in that more technical description is necessary.
I look forward to the revised article.
Likewise. I upvoted because I really like the addenda, but I'd prefer more description. How many doors are there? Because there's none in the pic, I assumed there were none and got surprised in the addenda. I'd also recommend finding another pic. This one is slightly ominous but at odds with the short description.
I am late to the discussion here, but I gave it an upvote, despite its problems. I would very much like to see this expanded on.
I think the second experiment needs some cleaning up. The D-class's language is a little too formal and refined… while obviously not all D-class are inner-city dropouts, these guys sound more polite and collected than trained agents, even when under extreme duress.
If he's actually meant to be an educated, refined sort of fellow, he should still degenerate a little as he grows more terrified. Blunt speech, less respect, expletives. (I have noticed that some people tend to get carried away with clinical tone and carry it over into interviews and experiment recordings, where it's decidedly odd to have D-class reporting that they hear something approximately twenty to twenty-five meters below.)
As I've stated before, I am more partial towards story toned SCP's. While I know this contradicts the overall formal and clinical tone that should be used when writing one, I love this article I like it, but do take qualms with its lack of items that others before me have stated.
The Good: Mind trapping hallway that is benevolent/malevolent depending upon the person entering. I like. In fact, I like a lot. Fun read and works OK as it is right now.
The Bad: As others have said before, I take issues with the fact that the tone of the D’s is a BIT too formal. I have to agree with Airdorn that while yes, there are bound to be plenty of D class who are not just inner-city, drop-out, degenerate, pedophiles, etc., this is probably not the case and I would not usually expect to hear "Roger, sir" nor "understood". The "sir" I could see, geared towards respect and all, no matter what your situation is, but the clinical/militaristic jargon as if they used to be a soldier of some sort is out of place. I just take issue with this small item, that's all. Also, the addendum's need to be cleaned up a bit, the mechanics of it feel off, like the narratives are over used or something, I just can't put my finger on it…
The Ugly: Yeah, the hallway needs to be described better. You say…
"It is first seen as a hallway with white walls, plain wooden doors twenty (20) meters apart and approximately two (2) meters high, and brass handles, with no special attributes visible. This detail is consistent across all accounts."
If I'm reading that correctly, you are saying that the hallway is about 20 meters from one door to the end of the hall at the next. Yeah, that picture, while I know it doesn't have to be wholly accurate, is much, MUCH longer then 20 meters (65 feet). Couple that with the fact that you don’t know which end to start with or if anything has ever been recovered orrrr, well you name it and you could add it. Not much, just a bit more for a better well rounded understanding description of the hallway. Nice addendums, but how about a recovery log. You've lost one agent, why not send in a D-Class with a harness system and on top of that, would the hallway react to this, suddenly slam the door shut, snap off the line, etc?
Yes, I love it, but just barely. I'm up voting only for the storyish factor of the entire thing (which is bias of me by the way). It needs cleaning up though and more detail (which isn't bias of me by the way).
*I take it back. After re-reading it a few more times and fully understand the scope, I'm down voting. The description is lacking and the addendum's seem off. Touch-up please! :)
/forum/t-257696/scp-398#post-
page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
