Updated: SCP-YYY: Ghost ship, take two

Summary:

Revamped, let me know what you think

Updated: SCP-YYY: Ghost ship, take two

DrSevere 17 Jul 2010 02:03

Alrighty, I recently uploaded an SCP that was downvoted, so I took some time to go through and try to fix what was wrong.

The two most common criticisms were that it was too much like SCP-802 and not creepy enough. I feel like I have added a good amount of creepiness, and started to take it in a direction different from 802. Nonetheless, I may not have gone far enough with either, or there may be other issues.

I would really appreciate any and all feedback you have. Be brutal (but constructive!). If you think the idea is unsalvageable, please, tell me so I know to stop working on it and move on. Thanks!

http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/severe
(it's the first one)

Re: Updated: SCP-YYY: Ghost ship, take two

SimpleCadence 17 Jul 2010 02:20

The mutating people thing comes across as tacked on for greater creep value. What does it have to do with the "ghost ship"?

Re: Updated: SCP-YYY: Ghost ship, take two

DrSevere 17 Jul 2010 02:41

I suppose, at the end of the day, that's exactly what it is. I'm considering scrapping the ghost ship entirely, taking that mutate-y thing, and working it into a brand new SCP idea. Not sure what that would be though…

Re: Updated: SCP-YYY: Ghost ship, take two

Leicontis 17 Jul 2010 18:22

Agreed with Cadence - I don't like the direction of the change, since that takes it dangerously close to "Things what make you go crazy for no reason".

I'd say strip that back out, and change the ship's behavior. Wandering on a seemingly random course and blowing up anything manmade is boring. Plenty of natural phenomena do that already. On the other hand, if there are certain things that it seems to prefer or avoid as targets, or some possible pattern in its course and/or other behavior, that adds depth to it. It also adds more mystery - why does it shoot some ships and not others, for example? If you don't want to go that far, include an addendum / incident report of it deviating from its random course and/or normal omnicidal behavior, and maybe an addendum that there have been █ other such deviations, and investigation is ongoing.

Re: Updated: SCP-YYY: Ghost ship, take two

DrSevere 18 Jul 2010 13:08

Hmmmm, not a bad idea, not bad at all. I'm going to wait for a bit more feedback before I do any sweeping changes, but I will definitely think about how I could work that in.

Also, omnicidal is my new favorite word.