Make that ONE new idea.
Okay, "narrowed down" to ONE new idea…
http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/sylocat
Advice would be welcome.
ONE new idea
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» ONE new idea
Summary:
Narrowing it down a bit.
I only read through the first one, because I'm sleepy, but I do fully intend to read the second one eventually.
Anyway, the first one, with the anemone(sp) is pretty cool, but it doesn't quite seem like an SCP. It just seems like some really big bugs. I can see you put a lot of work into it; try to add something creepy and unknown (my recent SCP just got downvoted because there was nothing mysterious about it [and because it turned out to be similar to another SCP, but that is neither here nor there]). Maybe they spawn from nowhere, maybe they were found in a crashed spaceship, maybe they are really good at chess. I just feel like it needs something mystifying and scary to really make it pop.
Otherwise a cool idea though, definitely has potential if you can make it more gripping.
Ironically, one of the most gripping parts (I thought) I deleted because someone said I was including too much unnecessary detail, and specifically pointed out that paragraph. Maybe I should put it at the end in the form of an incident report.
EDIT: On the other hand, it makes a ton more sense if the bugs actually come out of the anemone, rather than just hanging around it. I updated that.
I like the addition to the first one, though I still think it needs a little bit more added to make it creepier. An incidence report would definitely do the job if done right.
As for the second one, once again its a cool idea but it needs a bit of reworking. First off, "Memetic Molester" sounds more like the name of a superhero/supervillain than an SCP. Mememtic Predator would probably work fine, or something else like it, but the alliteration just makes it a little silly.
Next, minor thing, above the list of signs that someone is infected, you have [EXPUNGED] instead of [DATA EXPUNGED].
Also, I agree with DrBobson, "expunging her data" is almost comical. It sort of ruins the tone of the whole article.
Lastly, and this is up to you, I personally think that overall this SCP is just too graphic. In most of the SCP's I've read, exceedingly graphic parts are cut out with [DATA EXPUNGED]. A great example is SCP-231. It is creepy and messed up and depraved, but all the truly horrific bits are expunged. You can even do things like "Then he procceeded to [DATA EXPUNGED]. He even made the fucking son watch!" I just feel like the graphic level of detail included, especially about targeting little girls and cutting up his own face while raping a woman, are just too over the top for what is supposed to be a somewhat detached, clinical report.
This is obviously my own personal opinion, and I am pretty new to the site, but there you have it, my two cents.
Okay… well, that one was a bust.
It happens. I haven't been on chat lately to tell everyone about my latest run of bad ideas, but they involved a sandwich that started fires and a menacing office plant.
I enjoyed the first, but really, really disliked second.
"Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's Memetic Molester Ma-OH GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT"
/forum/t-253496/one-new-idea#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
