First SCP revision
I've revised the entry quite a bit. I'd appreciate any feedback on it. (It's the first one on the page.)
http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/qwazzerman
Thanks!
First SCP revision
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» First SCP revision
I think this is an improvement on your first version; it seems a little bit more plausible that the Foundation would take an interest in these insects now. That said, the specialist ants confuse me. What sort of corrosive solution could there possibly be that would melt through ceramic but not through meat?
Also, your statement that the ants are not carnivorous AND that they will quickly make nests in exposed flesh is a little counter-intuitive.
Okay, I made a few changes. Any thoughts/suggestions? Does it seem worthy of actually being posted?
I think it looks pretty good, but then again I'm not a senior member here. I leave it to you to decide whether or not to throw it to the wolves.
Hum, maybe I'm wrong, but, I don't think their tolerance to sulfuric acid (which is what I'm guessing they produce) would make them resistant against pesticides… these things aren't really related, I don't think people use sulfur in pesticides anymore. But this is nitpicking. I particulary liked the article, and I think it's pretty well written.
Overall, I liked it. I would definitely add an empty line between each paragraph; it makes it more visually appealing.
I also think that, if you are going to have them burrow into flesh, make it a bigger deal. Don't just have one sentence mentioning it almost in passing. Forming a colony in a human, especially a live one, is creepy as hell, and sounds like it is potentially the largest threat these things pose.
Lastly, you mention that the Foundation isn't sure how the queen chooses which to make. I am pretty sure that even normal ant queens can choose which type of ants to produce (workers or warriors) in real life, so it seemed like kind of a shallow point. I think a trickier question would be "how does she know which to lay" instead of "how does she choose which to lay."
As a whole I really liked this one, and would vote yes on it.
With regard to how the queen knows/decides which type of ant to breed.
I think a realistic (and very ant-like) solution is she produces types at random (or a number of each type); those that find they are successful on a given material give off pheramones which stimulate the queen to produce more of that type.
She would probably continue to produce and keep a low number of others types wandering and probing "just in case" - which then allows the colony to adapt very quickly to changes or threats.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
