Finishing Off First SCP

Summary:

Nearly done, but wanted to run it by others before posting it up.

Finishing Off First SCP

LastSatellite 07 Jul 2010 04:02

So, I've written up my first SCP article, and I am feeling good about it, but I wanted to share it before I posted it.

http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/lastsatellite It's the Clothes Dryer, the first one. Is there anything you think should be added to this article, or any errors I have made? I know that I would add some formatting to the test logs before posting, but that's the only editing I know to do.

Of course, I am prepared that, as my first contribution, it will not remain. But I feel that that's all the more reason to make it as good as possible.

Thank you for help.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

Chubert 07 Jul 2010 04:14

The idea is pretty good, I think. There's some grammatical errors: you miss apostrophes in a couple places, and all [[DATA EXPUNGED]] or [[DATA REDACTED]]s are usually done with double brackets, my bad, single brackets, all caps. Also, seeing as you attach experiments at the end, you might want to use the Experiment Log template.

The censors in the experiment log just disturbed me. Don't want to know, don't want to know…

You may want to wait a while before posting; I'm new, and senior advice is the best advice.

EDIT for accuracy.

Last edited on 07 Jul 2010 05:41 by Chubert Show more

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

Sylocat 07 Jul 2010 05:37

No, the [DATA EXPUNGED]s are in single brackets.

Also, there's no "[DATA REDACTED]." There is just [REDACTED].

The rules as to when you use which are a bit fuzzy, but the general consensus is that you use [DATA EXPUNGED] when there is a long section that's getting cut out, and [REDACTED] when there is a relatively short section being cut out (and if you want to specify a precise number of letters, that's when you use █.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

Chubert 07 Jul 2010 05:40

Data Redacted is very uncommonly used, but it is.

And I have no idea how I missed that it was only single.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

AdminBright 07 Jul 2010 05:49

yes, you can say data redacted

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Admin, SCP Wiki

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

DrSevere 07 Jul 2010 04:24

First off, I'm new as well, so definately wait for someone who has been here longer before posting.

Anyway, overall I thought it was pretty cool and creepy. You mentioned that "non-clothing" objects also go through the process. I'm not sure if you just mean things that you wash other than clothing, such as bedsheets and carpets, or things you wouldn't put in an dryer at all, like, say, a hammer. You may want to reword it for better clarity, and maybe add another experiment log that includes what happens when you put in something that isn't supposed to go into a washer.

Overall, though, a cool SCP, I would vote yes.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

Sylocat 07 Jul 2010 05:41

It's a very interesting idea. It needs serious formatting help (I'd be glad to edit it if you don't mind), but it's definitely creepy.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

LastSatellite 07 Jul 2010 05:56

Indeed, it does need formatting help. I could not find the Experiment Log template Chubert mentioned, so if you know about it then you can go ahead and apply it. Any other minor formatting issues you find, you can go ahead and edit. Though, I would be grateful to be made aware here [or in chat] of what changes you've made.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

Chubert 07 Jul 2010 06:05

Go to how to write an SCP, scroll down.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

SimpleCadence 07 Jul 2010 05:53

It doesn't do much for me, unfortunately. Some of the description makes little sense in a scientific context, but that is easy to fix and so not my real problem. On the whole the article is well written.

It's the concept that I don't like. I wish I could point to some particular reason, or some factor that you could analyze and revise. Unfortunately, all I can say is that it seems to be taking a lackluster idea and trying too hard to amp it up. It's a dryer that somehow teleports dirty clothes in to replace clean ones, but the clothes are also from dead or injured people! Oh, and sometimes they come from an alternate reality or [DATA WHATEVER]. It's not enough to make me interested.

I'm sure more active members of the site will have their say, and I've disliked some of the most popular entries in the wiki. So, as with those who have commented before me, take my comments with a grain of salt.

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

Ragazzo 12 Jul 2010 03:55

Experiment Log for SCP-XXX

Approved by: (Whoever you want, O5-██ or otherwise)
Project Head: (Some doctor or something.)

Date: ██/██/████
Test Subject:(who)
Procedure: (what)
Results: (what happened after)

Notes: (specific things you want to mention)

Re: Finishing Off First SCP

tunedtoadeadchannel 12 Jul 2010 04:58

Unnecessary.

I've explained why in detail in this thread over here.

Last edited on 12 Jul 2010 05:12 by tunedtoadeadchannel Show more