Two SCPs and a short story

Summary:

I've been busy.

Two SCPs and a short story

MalcolmMacLean 04 Jul 2010 05:53

Title says it all, really. My sandbox is getting crowded.
http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/malcom-s-area

I wrote one real SCP (spectacles that make you anthropomorphize things) and one fake one (a big red button). I value any advice on any of the things I've written, so long as it's constructive. Not that I honestly expect anyone to actually read everything; there's rather a lot of it, after all.

What can I say? When I get bored, I tend to obsessively pursue some activity or another; this week, it's SCP-writing. Next week it'll probably be videogames, and maybe the week after that it'll be skirt-chasing, and then reading, then videogames again, then maybe back to writing…

Last edited on 04 Jul 2010 06:12 by MalcolmMacLean Show more

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

Enma Ai 04 Jul 2010 06:27

The glasses are quite interesting. Must the subject wear them all the time for the effects to manifest? Or will they appear with irregular use too? For instance, if the subject only uses them to watch… say, TV, one hour a day, would the effects still manifest?

The big red button reminds me of Dexter's lab :P Good times :P

I greatly enjoy your writting style, by the way. I didn't read the story yet, but I considering your other articles, I expect it'll be good.

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

MalcolmMacLean 04 Jul 2010 13:52

Thanks for the feedback. I figure the glasses will be most disturbing if you don't know exactly how long it'll take for you to start seeing things. I edited the article to reflect that.

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

Enma Ai 04 Jul 2010 20:10

Well, to be perfectly honest, I didn't find them disturbing. Interesting, yes, and sometimes slightly comical (picturing a scientist with those huge glasses thanking every floor tile in the facility after stepping on them is quite an hilarious mental image), but if you were aiming at disturbing, I guess some more creepy effects would be needed… maybe prolonged exposure could make the person wearing them increasingly paranoid and convinced that the objects were going out of their way to be uncooperative or something to that effect…

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

MalcolmMacLean 05 Jul 2010 04:19

Hmmm… I could do that. Much of the article would need to be rewritten… Or maybe it would only be something that happens in the late stages, sometime in the fourth week…

Any suggestions for the other works?

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

Enma Ai 05 Jul 2010 17:42

The Red Button its a pretty basic concept, but still, it was rather funny, specially the crossed phrases in the description. Still, I'd like to ask, why is the cube where it is contained made of titanium? Titanium isn't really stronger than steel, just lighter and rust-proof; I don't see why the containment room would be made of it.

The story was interesting, if rather long; personally, I think that the whole section about what happened in Tanzania would be enough, seeing as that part was by far the most interesting one.
Just a nitpick, but, I'm pretty sure that bombarding a room with frag grenades would utterly demolish it. There wouldn't be much things left to see there :P

Last edited on 05 Jul 2010 18:37 by Enma Ai Show more

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

MalcolmMacLean 05 Jul 2010 22:25

I needed a strong metal; titanium is what came to mind first. Shows what I know about metallurgy, I guess… Maybe some tungsten alloy would work better?

I intend for Xenophobia to be part of a larger series; I don't think it would work so well without the introduction and conclusion bits. Besides, as it's written, only Malcolm's after-the-fact recollections give you much of an insight into what he actually thinks about anything.

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

Enma Ai 06 Jul 2010 01:08

Considering the fact that it's a joke SCP, I don't think there would be a problem if you just used Telekill. It's a button that will probably blows up reality, I'm pretty sure the Foundation wouldn't be against making the protective box out of 148. But if you want a real alloy, the one with the best tensile strength, IIRC, is a Beta C alloy, specifically the Titanium-Zirconium one… but I'm not 100% sure.
Ah, and, it's not like titanium isn't strong. It is. It's just that steel is as strong as titanium, so I don't see many reasons for a stationary room to be made out of it.

…oh, of course. I didn't read the "Part 1" in front of the story's title :P Well, I liked it anyway. Do you plan on writing the rest soon?

Last edited on 06 Jul 2010 01:15 by Enma Ai Show more

Re: Two SCPs and a short story

MalcolmMacLean 06 Jul 2010 02:06

I'm trying to walk a fine line between "silly" and "absurd." IMO, a Telekill box wouldn't be much funnier, but it would be impractical and wasteful. So, instead, the boxes will be made entirely of tungsten carbide. That makes MUCH more sense.

Sure, sure. I'll write more as soon as I can think of some more traumatizing experiences for young Malcolm. I want the title "Xenophobia" to be completely justified by what happens to him…

Last edited on 06 Jul 2010 02:18 by MalcolmMacLean Show more