Okay. I liked this. Halfway through, I upvoted, because the concept is cool and to a layman like myself the sciencebabble is beievable and not overpowering. A few sections, specifically throwaway lines about treatment of foetuses and "undesireable recessive genes" were excellent.
Then…
I got to the logs.
The logs there take a really sweet pod people-esque "they are dangerous and walk among us" vibe with a viable hook and turn it into a cliche ridden Underground Vampyre Societie meets the morrowind beholder's cult thing that is meh in the extreme. Everything from the narmy "oh, it must be safe here AAAAAAGH" beginning section to the exceedingly predictable "Oh, I thought you were dead. Oh well, welcome back AAAAAAAGH" ending screamed dissapointing, and the line about "the master" actually made me facepalm.
That's right, alias. I facepalmed, in real life. I wasn't ready for it, and I knocked my glasses off, and it hurt, and it's all your fault. Feel bad.
But seriously, the concept here is good, and the description is excellent. Everything but the logs is great and upvote worthy. I reccomend you heavily rewrite or just remove the loggy transcript bits, because then I will upvote this and perhaps manage not to bruise my own forehead next time I read it.
