A new idea

Summary:

Opinions please

A new idea

evilscary 13 May 2010 20:21

I've been kicking around an idea for a bit, I'd like some feedback please.

Basically it's a strange little device that captures and vivisects small animals, only to use the parts to build its own creatures. So far it doesn't seem to have a good grip on biology and the creatures die fairly quickly, but each 'generation' of creatures improves the device's understanding of biology, and the next batch live longer…

I've had a go at writing it up here http://scpsandboxwiki.wikidot.com/evilscary but I'm not so please with it.

Ideas?

Re: A new idea

Bouncl 25 May 2010 13:07

It's a fairly solid idea, I think. I'd like to point out a few nitpicks, even though it's only a rough.

Firstly, in the first line, it's impossibly to have a ceramic-steel alloy, an alloy being a mixture of two metals.

Secondly, instead of describing the optical sensors as 'small' i would give a vague size for them. Small is much too objective, and doesn't keep with the tone of the wiki as a whole.

Thirdly in the same paragraph, I would drop apparently, and say something like 'most likely' or 'it is probably that' instead.

Fourthly, there's a bit of incongruity in it's behavior. If it can sense a small creature as soon as it's placed in the enclosure, why does it explore every 24 hours? One of those needs to be removed, since they don't make sense together. I like the idea of it making a sweep every so often, but it's up to you.

Re: A new idea

Leicontis 25 May 2010 14:07

The correct term would be "composite" rather than "alloy".

Re: A new idea

evilscary 02 Mar 2011 17:17

Hi all, I've not been around for aaaages and have just got back into the SCP vibe. I think I might upload this SCP, but can't be sure I already did. I've had a look and can't see it in the list.