OP, your image is broken.
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Hey everyone. This is my first scp, but I have writing experience in the past. Let me know what you all think! Regardless of if it gets taken down I'm still proud of it. Have a great day!
The photo comes from a local seller website where I asked the item and image owner if I could use it. the original image I can no longer find, sadly.
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EDIT: Image removed.
~🌸~Flower Power~🌸~
It's pretty simplistic as far as these things go; maybe there could be more to the tests, but I feel you've got enough here to make me like the concept and properties at least. +1 from me.
You've got all the pieces. The teddy bear in the first test and the machete in the second test are good intimations regarding the way the anomaly works, while maintaining wonder. The personalities of the children add to the experience and that's well done.
However, I feel that a lot of the extra tests just pad it out and don't do anything appreciable to add to the story. You could probably summarize a whole bunch of the inactive tests and just say that yes, they found the limits to the test. Keeping the tests that showcase the intriguing aspects of how the anomaly functions are the best.
I'll +1, but there's room for cleanup.
Thanks! I'll keep that in mind when I do a clean up round if it sticks around on the site.
At this point, I'm guessing it will stick around, and performing the cleanup to remove the extraneous testing will give it an even better chance at survival. There's a lot of good bits to this one.
So they're researching the origins of the item even though the bunny already explained them?
Hmm, you have the rough pieces in place. However, they don't seem to be focused enough. If you can come up with a troll logic-ish way to justify how the less conventional spawned items can be considered as toys, I think that will be what the article needs for impact.
Agreeing with most of the above. The personalities in play are a good start, but there needs to be more to the story - otherwise this is just a random item generator. Something to draw the reader further in, something unexpected or surprising, would be helpful.
Also, please change all those ounce measures to SI units.
The image doesn't look like it's 1.1 meters tall. I was confused on the units at first, and had to google what "gm" is. If you mean "gram", I think writing it out would help not confuse people.
It's a pretty simple thing with lots of underlying info, and I liked it, but the image just confused me upon initial read. Gonna have to novote.
The abbreviation for gram is g; "gm" would be gram-meters.
I googled it, and what came up for gm was gigameters or grams. If it was a gram-meter (which a google search turns up as either grams per meters (a linear density measurement) or a unit of energy) then it makes even less sense to me.
That in all seriousness is the reason "gm" is not an officially recognized abbreviation for grams: Gm is gigameters, gm is gram meters. The latter pairing pops up occasionally in vector physics- it's a less convoluted way of writing mNâ‹…s2. It comes up when you're doing things like calculating the total change in momentum in a system over a given time period or similarly odd things. Grams per meter is g/m, and people who refer to that as gram meters are incorrect in doing so.
Upvoted because I like the non-sequitur weirdness here, but definitely could be improved. In particular, seconding that little more troll logic and weird-sales-pitch interaction from the "buuny" would go a long way for characterization.
Was the reason this is named "buuny" because of the image? If so, now that the image can't be in the SCP, I'd recommend changing the name to Bunny Butler. The two 'u's don't do anything to help the page, and make it feel gimmicky.
As for the SCP itself, I feel like it could be fleshed out more. I think there's a lot of potential. Maybe give it a darker turn, something worse than the machete? That would be my guess.
For now, tentatively Upvoting.
Yea, the buuny was because of the image. I found it on an old local site I worked for, an ad for a little bunny shelf described here, with the ad written horribly and it looking so strange. The ad was already over 7 years old, and I was very lucky to get verbal permission from the ad holder to use their image (didnt expect a responce actually), but I couldn't get anything more concrete so the mods removed my image. You're welcome to remove the vote as I don't expect to get back to this, I lost motivation when I lost the image it was all based on.
/forum/t-2301660/scp-3569#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
