(account deleted) 19 May 2017 08:19
SOURCES:
- Image from here.
- Idea inspired by the 1997 film, Mimic — and Richard Feynman's talks about Cargo Cult Science.
SCP-3035 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3035.
(account deleted) 19 May 2017 08:19
I love this. It reminds me of SCP-2006 (in that you really don't want these fuckers to get out and start mimicking some of the awful behavior humanity has a nasty habit of exhibiting, just like you don't want 2006 to get out and discover real horror.) Aside from that, this is nice succinct little jab at the aforementioned behavior. And to top it off it made me smirk. You've made a day that started with a headache infinitely better. ;) +1
Thanks — and I'm glad that's the case! Also, thanks for linking SCP-2006 — it's a great entry I hadn't seen, and it's probably a good thing I saw it now since I had a very similar idea brewing in the back of my brain. >_>
Negative comments:
- the paragraph before "to whomever it may concern" could use some tightening up on tone. It sounds more like a news article than a document at that point, and I'm sure there's a formal way to express the information in the quote.
- I'm not sure I can buy that they took over an entire site. Were there really that many of them, and able to overpower whatever firepower the Foundation had on site?
Positive comments:
- This is the most disgust I have felt reading an article in months. Congrats.
Settling on neutral until I can get some clarification.
Hm — I'll take a look at that paragraph. I'm a little in love with the last line of it, but I also know that it's kind of informal, and might not be in-line with what an SCP-article is supposed to be.
Re: How they won — I went back and forth about whether or not to include this, but basically… 1) They're cockroaches, so they're both incredibly hard to kill and breed super-fast — and 2) They rapidly adapt the attributes of any creature trying to harm or kill them. So once they started encountering soldiers, they started acting like soldiers (and looking like them, too).
Like, I had struggled over whether or not to include some sort of attachment describing their takeover of the facility (or the three attempts to go into the base and rescue survivors) — but ultimately, I decided I really, really liked just ending it on the note of that final email.
That being said, I'm sure there's something I could add in the memo to indicate the two reasons I mention above (their rapid reproductive speed and their ability to adapt to their attackers).
edit: That being said, I referred to there being only 12 cockroaches in the enclosure… that's really not a lot. I've edited the document to remove the reference to 12, leaving it ambiguous (depending on the size of the enclosure, it can be presumed there were dozens, maybe even more).
Pretty much addressed all my concerns, and the amount of thought you've put into this while restraining information makes me immensely happy. Hope to see more articles from you.
In the meantime, take my +1 and never write something like this ever again
I'm not sure I can buy that they took over an entire site. Were there really that many of them, and able to overpower whatever firepower the Foundation had on site?
I don't know. I can see the Foundation's Contain, don't Destroy policy causing this.
"We need to destroy them."
"But they're anomalous, you know we can't do that."
"Yeah, but if we wait any longer they might…"
"Look, fine. I see what you're getting at, but you'll still need to file the proper paperwork. Get the right form from John down in Filing and we'll review your request."
…
…
"CHIRP CHIRP MOTHERFUCKER"
I liked this but there are a few tone issues for me:
"scribbled with gibberish" and "with extreme prejudice" sound rather informal/unscientific to me.
The email where the doc says they are hesitant to mention something, doesn't make too much sense - they are Foundation researchers, they know the kinds of shit they deal with and that even the tiniest change could be relevant. I doubt they would have any issue at all mentioning a perceived size change.
The second from last email where he's suddenly all fuck this and fuck you seems to come out of nowhere, and I find it hard to believe he would react that way at all, even if they did grow significantly - at that point they're still only, what, twice the size of a normal cockroach? I dunno, felt forced to me.
I'll no-vote for now but this was pretty good. I especially enjoyed the Starship Troopers reference.
Fair — I think the 'fuck you' was reasonable, but only if you actually read Xao's letter (I tried to hint at it with the subject line — Re: Where's Your Spirit Of Scientific Inquiry?). That being said, yeah, I'll tighten up on those spots you've mentioned.
(I'm also increasing the size they grow in the penultimate entry, and removing the 'fuck you' bit — but keeping the 'We're ending this now' bit).
Also, I'm glad someone caught the reference. xD
I really liked the main description and upvoted for it, but the long e-mail chain felt redundant and went on for just long enough to make a sharp, short funny article feel repetitious and uninteresting. Everything you need to stay is stated in the main article. I did enjoy the imagery of a roach sending an email but it wasnt worth the restated setup.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Fair enough! I don't feel like I can take the email chain out, though — largely because it's my personal favorite part of this article, but also because (for me) it's meant as the set up as to why packages filled with test-tubes and human bodyparts keep emerging from the facility (because the bugs are mimicking scientists).
That being said, on rereading it, I can definitely see what you mean about it working without the email bits — I think you're right, and I can see why you'd prefer that as an article.
Once again, the construction is clever, and this sells a simple idea well.
I'm also very impressed with your willingness to listen to feedback and make changes quickly (both here and in 3034) - and your discernment in identifying which changes are sensible.
I look forward to reading what you've got coming up next.
Gah, this is so many flavors of fucked up! That last email was priceless, +1.
Really like this, especially the last email.
But, can't bring myself to upvote while this line is in there:
To put it in the words of one Foundation soldier: "No matter how crazy they look, they're still just bugs."
I don't think the main description in an scp would include a flavor quote.
Edit: easy solution, move it into the "to whom it may concern" block.
I experimented with moving that bit into the memo, but there's really no way to work it in that feels natural. Ultimately, after thinking about it a while, I decided to cut it — it's one of my favorite lines, but sometimes you have to throw your babies in the dumpster*. Because, yeah, I agree that it's not in-line with what you'd expect from a scientific document.
- NOTE: Don't actually throw any babies into dumpsters >:
This is nice and disgusting, but the tonal issues are keeping me from upvoting.
Don't feel any obligation to respond, but — if you're up to it — could you elaborate? Is it the tonal issues with the emails? Some of the sillier emails thrown into the log? I did that to humanize Dr. Breenan, but in retrospect, the actual article itself would probably cut out emails irrelevant to understanding what occurred.
(Not to imply that I'm digging for all the upvotes I can get here; I'm totally fine with no-votes and down-votes. But I'm always working to improve my writing, so feedback is always super-helpful!)
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
