Every SCP - Part 5 - The Clock / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Every SCP - Part 5 - The Clock.

Shaggydredlocks 13 May 2017 03:13

Prose and dialogue in this series are steadily improving - and it seems the story is getting starting to kick off. The opening line is a little extraneous and campy for my tastes for an updoot¹.

I haven't been able to get invested in the story overall, but I'm starting to get interested in where it's going. I envision this getting better as it progresses, but for now, -1.

Footnotes

1. Also, I'm not sure why Eli and Dictator in particular need to be present for the event to begin with, which is a little distracting. It's a recurring issue throughout the series, I'm never really sure why anything is happening at any point.

Dr0Shadow 13 May 2017 03:47

That's the biggest problem with this: It feels like a self insert story, heck, it feels like the early tales about the shenanigans of senior staff. The characters have no good reason to be seeing all the skips, or any reason from what I can tell.

TheLordSavant 13 May 2017 04:22

I initially appreciated the characters, but the more I experience with them, the more extraneous they feel to me. I see no reason for letting Eli and Dictator interact (other than psychological reasons, but he seems to have enough companionship in the form of Oliver. That's the main reason I haven't upped the last couple. Tentative no oat.

Dr0Shadow 13 May 2017 04:28

I say the writer should take a step back from the all skips idea and develop the characters and lore first - Those seam the most interesting.

Last edited on 13 May 2017 04:28 by Dr0Shadow Show more

Shaggydredlocks 13 May 2017 05:08

This might be for the best. The way I see it, you're trying to do two wildly different things: craft an overarching story featuring your characters, and writing a story for every SCP in the database (I will ignore for the time being whether or not the latter is a feasible undertaking for a single person). Both of these are getting in the other's way, and I think it'd be best to divorce the two concepts entirely.

You can still do both of these things, and I'd be happy to read either one, but they are at odds with each other. Now, I would focus on their story first and foremost. If there are SCPs that are relevant to the overall story, theme, plot; sure, work them in there - it'd be more natural, and you can tick off a couple skips while you're at it.

As for the Every SCP venture; there's always other smaller stories - or even series - you could tie some together with (I'm a fan of the 'one-shot' myself, and have done a couple like that), provided these connections are thought about, and incorporated in a way which makes sense.

You're already kind of doing this, but the links have felt forced or underdeveloped thus far. You only need to be more mindful:

How does this anomaly/item/character relate to my plot?
How does it impact the narrative? Does the overall story progress? Is it a simple character/slice of life piece?

Does it's inclusion change the characters in any meaningful way? Do they learn anything about each other or themselves?
Does the interaction change how my audience feels about my characters?
And so on, and so on. Best of luck.

ratking666 13 May 2017 05:05

Tentative no oat.

brother, please, give me the oats

im sorry brother, but i am quite famished.

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pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming

Taffeta 13 May 2017 08:40

Agreeing with the criticism that I have no idea where this is actually going. Ignoring the obvious complaint that many, many SCP articles contradict one another (see SCP-2845, SCP-2747 and SCP-2317 for the most obvious canon-breaking articles I can think of), I don't think that tying well over 3000 distinct entities into a singular plot would end well for a group of authors, let alone a lone author writing their way through the database.

I'm going to echo the recommendation above that you have this be either a collection of one-shots or a collection of series disconnected from one another but showcasing a certain array of SCPs inside their own small continuity. This affords you the opportunity to delve deep into the implications of both the SCPs themselves as well as explore the characters: even the main protagonists haven't had anywhere near the time they should to shine in their own right, feeling like they're only here in order to kick-start the more interesting series of events with the SCPs themselves.

The ambition's always appreciated and you've certainly got one hell of a work ethic. I think your approach, however, is limiting you from producing a more effective piece.