SCP-XXXX: Rubik's Man
SCP-XXXX: Rubik's Man
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» SCP-XXXX: Rubik's Man
Summary:
squick [thread locked, repeat]
Locking this thread as the author has decided to use another for feedback, currently here: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-2280498/scp-xxxx:rubik-s-man
Reviewers, feel free to refer to previous iterations of threads for this draft:
- 3 May: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-2261708/scp-rubik-s-man
- 7 May: http://www.scp-wiki.net/forum/t-2267905/scp-xxxx:rubik-s-man
Authors, please do not create multiple threads for the same draft. Doing so is spammy and unfair to other writers who do not flood the forums with redundant threads. Furthermore, it helps reviewers a lot if all corresponding feedback is kept in one place for efficiency of reference and discussion.
In this case, while four threads is definitely against the above expected behavior, given the sheer amount of difficulty the author has expressed experiencing in getting feedback, staff will allow the current case so long as it does not occur again.
SCP-XXXX is a Caucasian man aged thirty-six years.
Cliche, right?
I feel like this could be something good, but the logs are lacking in the imagery I expected. Better to include stuff about his physical appearance and how it mutates more than anything else. The interview is also pretty overwrought and the hysteria feels detached from the rest of the piece.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Alright, I've made some changes.
Changes that have probably opened a new shot of problems but, changes nonetheless.
The concept is interesting, but presentation is all over the place, in a manner of speaking.
The first problem I see is that the article contradicts itself at points such as:
Often times other bodily features will be used to "replace" features that have been removed from SCP-XXXX-1 by SCP-XXXX. There seems to be no limitation on what features can be replaced and what features are used to replace them. Under certain pretenses, such as a great difference in size or shape between the two organelles, the "replacer" anatomical feature will often become distorted or modified to match the size, shape, and dimensions of the feature it is replacing… Samples removed from SCP-XXXX-1 continue to function as they would if still supported by a living body, i.e. will not cease function despite being biologically incapable of sustained viability. It is unknown by what means SCP-XXXX causes this to occur. This phenomenon affects all forms of tissue removed from SCP-XXXX-1's body, e.g. samples of stomach lining continue to replenish cells despite the total absence of stomach acid, bone marrow will continue production of erythrocytes without veins to supply them to, kidneys will still produce excrement without receiving any waste products, etc. Observation of the sample's morphology show no anomalous, genetic, or otherwise foreign discrepancies from the cells of a non-anomalous human.
That seems like anything that is removed or damaged stays alive somehow. This would make any SCP-XXXX-1 immortal, or otherwise extremely efficient at self regeneration. But this:
Instances of unintentional termination of SCP-XXXX-…so as to not inflict fatal damage.
That contradicts it's regenerative properties.
SCP-XXXX refers to a phenomenon or unknown force affecting the limbs, organs, bones, musculature, and other anatomical features, and SCP-XXXX-1, the sole subject afflicted by SCP-XXXX itself.
This is repetitive. It affects those anatomical features AND SCP-XXXX-1, but those anatomical features are a part of SCP-XXXX-1. I would restructure this to read:
SCP-XXXX only pertains to SCP-XXXX-1—the sole subject afflicted by SCP-XXXX. SCP-XXXX refers to a phenomenon or unknown force that affects the limbs, organs, bones, musculature, and other anatomical features of SCP-XXXX-1.
This entity also gives me a vibe that it has magical properties? I know it's biological, but it feels like there is some sort of magic here, because how this SCP does all of that stuff is not told, not even attempted to be explained. A way to solve that could be to tell the reader how SCP-XXXX does what it does, but don't( use the good old [REDACTED] trick).
Really don't know where you get regenerative properties from.
These continual bumps are getting spammy. If you have done a significant rewrite maybe post a new thread or try to solicit feedback in chat rather than repeatedly bumping the same thread. When folks see a thread with 10 posts in it they assume the author must have gotten plenty of help, not that the author has made almost half of those posts themselves just trying to bump the thread.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I already tried posting a new thread. It got locked for double-posting.
Have you tried chat during peak hours or PMing a staff member?
Please do so again. I'll see about asking someone in chat at the moment to review this, but the desperation here is starting to come off as passive-aggressive, and that might be keeping reviewers from wanting to reply here.
First of all, your sandbox is fucking obnoxious. Like, really, incredibly distracting and irritating.
SCP-XXXX-1 is contained in a 2m x 2m x 2m soundproofed cell.
Ok, so, if this doesn't become justified in the rest of the article, I am downvoting. Specifying measurements is dumb unless they are absolutely necessary. Upon further reading, it wasn't justified. Stick him in a standard humanoid containment cell.
Overall I don't have a lot to say about this one. The idea is decent but the execution doesn't impact me, really. The addendum's premise is a bit out of left field - I can't imagine the Foundation letting such a situation happen so easily.
On balance I'd have to downvote but I could be turned around if SCP-X-1 were characterised.
/forum/t-2242062/scp-xxxx:rubik-s-man#post-
page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
