Atzak I / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Atzak I.

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Winding down into nothing

djkaktus 21 Apr 2017 18:49

I wrote this tale midway through the contest, but it was recommended that I wait to post it until after the contest was over. So here we are. I think there's only so much atmosphere you can get out of an article, so here's an attempt to shovel some more in there. I hope you enjoy it!

Many thanks to Joreth, A Random Day, Cimmerian, Solo, and any others who reviewed this in chat. There's more to come, so hang on to your consciousnesses!

Attribution: The image at the top of this page is a variation of the image composition used in SCP-3000, and is licensed under Creative Commons.

Last edited on 02 May 2017 05:32 by djkaktus Show more

NaxinD 21 Apr 2017 18:55

Wow, among several tales here, this is one of the best, but not the best maybe its the best in there :D +1

(EDIT: Its an tale, right? :I ignore this, i may be blind now ;-;)

Last edited on 21 Apr 2017 19:21 by NaxinD Show more

Weryllium 21 Apr 2017 18:59

there's only so much atmosphere you can get out of an article

That might be true, and you got close to that limit with 3000 itself. But this tale gets the flexibility to truly explore the sense of losing your memory, your identity, your past… shudders

+1.

Decibelles 21 Apr 2017 19:09

I'm glad you posted this tale, but this firmly made me realize what I liked about 3000; the giant eel and the religious ties throughout. This is only really present in the final part of the tale here. So no-vote.

EDIT: If you do write more though, I'll still read them. I hope one of the tales at least emphasizes the horror of a giant fucking monster in the sea.

Last edited on 21 Apr 2017 19:09 by Decibelles Show more

NatVoltaic 21 Apr 2017 19:14

That was wonderfully unsettling, and a great way to expand upon the ideas in 3000.

+1

Zederex Armin 21 Apr 2017 20:00

Damn it, I was thinking for a second that there would be some long, colored, decoded message at the end of the article with all those lines. Real bummer.

Regardless, this tale fits perfectly with what you wrote for the SCP-3000 contest. Cheers to you on that, and cheers to you for making this tale.

+1

damn ocean snakes…

Last edited on 21 Apr 2017 20:11 by Zederex Armin Show more

NatVoltaic 21 Apr 2017 22:15

While I did check for one at first, I feel like having no hidden message works for this. With one the existential dread/sadness I get from this probably wouldn't be as strong, since the nothingness at the end hammers home what's happened to the protagonist and lets it sink in. If it can't sink in the effect won't be as great.

KretchSteamclaw 21 Apr 2017 20:05

This was a fun to read out loud. Nice work. :D

Lackwit 21 Apr 2017 22:32

I really enjoy this, djkaktus, but can you please change the third word from "lay" to "lie" for the sake of grammar? I know it's a minor edit but with it being such a prominent line I don't feel right doing it myself.

Shaggydredlocks 23 Apr 2017 06:50

Ahhhhh!

Second person perspective is wonderfully justified here; the usual shortcomings of which are played for effect and made satisfying. That final scene creeped me right the fuck out! +1

Dr Solo 24 Apr 2017 20:41

Man. This was very good and unsettling the last time I read it, and I'm not sure how the simple fade at the end makes it that much more good and unsettling, but it does.

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