Every Breathing Minute of Every Waking Hour / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page Every Breathing Minute of Every Waking Hour.

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(account deleted) 05 Apr 2017 23:08

_{"Go back home
get a job and get paid
marry a girl
go home and get laid.
Buy a big old house where we both can live
have a couple of drinks and have a couple of kids.}

_{Whoa oh, and I, I left my life behind-
but I ain't got time to look back on."}

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This is an idea I started almost a month ago and just now fired up again. There's no plot twist, there's no moral of the story, it's just about how everyone dies. Thank you to FortuneFavorsBold, DrBleep, salvagebar, and Fantem for feedback & crit.

TL333s 05 Apr 2017 23:29

Oh, okay, good. I got the sense that I was missing something, but if there was nothing to miss, then it works just fine as a look at Foundation life.

(account deleted) 05 Apr 2017 23:43

Yeah, it was mostly an experiment in unusual formatting, I think, what with the collapsibles and military time and whatnot — that, and I just wanted to write one of those solemn slice-of-life things.

RJB_R 06 Apr 2017 00:15

I really enjoyed all of the vignettes, they were punchy and keep a good flow going until the end. I admire the brevity on display here, nothing is longer than it needs to be and it all feels purposeful. I might not tie it to one day, I think it could be more effective if this could be any given day for the Foundation.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

(account deleted) 06 Apr 2017 00:22

I might not tie it to one day, I think it could be more effective if this could be any given day for the Foundation.

Oh yeah, that's the point of it. Today is just a day - today is April 5th, 2017. It could be any day, nothing special about today. This is just today's version of it, and tomorrow, Smithson will come pick his coat up off the hanger and do it all over again with different death reports.

I was considering trying to get some sort of code magic going that would change each date mention when the day changes in real life, but I don't think that could ever feasibly work logistically speaking.

RJB_R 06 Apr 2017 00:49

I was actually looking for some myself, and was going to recommend it if I had found any. Sadly, it does not seem to be a thing that exists.

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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

psul 06 Apr 2017 07:43

Full of nice touches, and devastating in its own way. It's almost too good to do this to, but if you wanted to open a collaborative log, you might give the "… and then I died" game a new lease of life with this framing device.

(account deleted) 06 Apr 2017 12:48

I would consider making a second one as a collab log, and just link it at the end of this one. Something like "Tomorrow is x day" or whatever, as a link. I'll think about it.