Mmmm… Not really feeling this one. If it were something the Factory came up with, maybe, but I'm getting too much of a D&D vibe from it. Also makes me think a bit of Fred Saberhagen's Book of Swords series.
Okay, now that it's been rewritten, I like it a lot better. Now it's only one watch rather than several, and it is a bit creepier as to how it takes over your life.
I'm switching to an Upvote.
Might I ask for clarification as to why this is so 'no,' such that I may avoid such mistakes in the future?
As MisterFlames said, it feels like a magic item from an RPG, and not an SCP.
SCPs are not made for a purpose. They exist for their ineffable reasons, or for no reason at all.
SCPs aren't cool, or generally useful. They need to be contained, for the good of all humanity, not kept, for the good of the foundation.
SCPs are horrible. They turn you inside out, they devour the world.
This is none of those things.
Also, the Chaos Insurgency, as far as I know, is a normal, mortal organization, like the Foundation. They aren't wizards, and they can't enchant +1 magic watches. They have no ability to manufacture SCPs.
I wasn't trying to imply they were, just that they had been under CI control before The Foundation. I can see the 'too useful to be SCP' though.
Okay, looks like the consensus is that this article is bad and can't be saved. If no one has a suggestion on how to fix it by the 24th I'll ask an admin to delete it.
EDIT: Solution found, deletion no longer needed.
I would suggest picking one of the watches that you like the best and hashing it out alone, concentrating on avoiding the issues people have brought up here. And no, some SCPs are made for a purpose. They just generally don't end up the way the creator intended.
Or they have a purpose, but it's not one the Foundation fully understands or condones. <chuckle>
My point is, these are the characteristics of a prototypical SCP. Some SCPs refuse to be bounded by one or two of them, but those shine out because of how different they are from the norm.
- SCPs made by The Factory challenge the assumption that all these things just exist, and in fact states that this group exists with enormous power that apparently wants only to create magic trinkets to mess with peoples lives.
- -076 mainly, but a couple other SCPs, actually are cool and/or useful. Abel is scary not because he's a merciless killing machine, but because he allows the foundation to face threats that would melt an ordinary mortal in seconds. Abel existing leads to Abel-beating monsters existing.
- Josie The Half-Cat isn't horrifying. The magic coffee machine and the magic vending machine and the gears-what-make-things-better aren't horrifying. The fact that they aren't horrifying is useful, because it allows the Foundation as a whole to seem a lot more varied. Not only do SCP scientists have to work to contain horrible world-ending death monsters, but they also have to take care of half of a cat, and machine that dispenses Martian Jujubees.
My problem with this SCP is that it is none of those three things. It was obviously made for a specific use, its highly useful and cool, and it isn't the least bit horrifying.
/rant.
agreed
Edit: You should look for a nifty picture
I actually own the pocket watch I'm basing this description off of. I just haven't had a chance to get a good picture of it yet.
The first sentence of the second paragraph of the Description doesn't scan well to me, like there are words or punctuation missing. But overall improved.
upvoted, i like it. i'd like to see an experiment log written up on attempts at making subjects late.
I knew I was forgetting to do something. I was actually planing to do a test log on just that, will probably get it up in the next week or so.
Why would they just give an SCP to Foundation personnel, again?
Military Consultant, SCP Wiki
Earlier days of the Foundation? Could not be separated without termination? I could rewrite it so that he doesn't reveal that he had an SCP object until his death, which would probably actually work better now that I think about it.
just an idea that would make for a great log and give this scp a scary edge, would be as RhettSarlin said, a failed to be late log, but all attempts to make the subject late end up in personnel death by an unknown force that seems almost like really bad luck, such things as sending a D class to block the subjects way only to have that d class trip over his own feet and snap his neck on a wall, of course the obsession drives the subject to continue on to his meeting even though it means walking over the dead d class's body to get there. many other tests could show the many ways people can die from "natural" causes.
This is not a good idea. "Scary" has nothing to do with people dying. Some of the best items on the site are completely harmless. Moreover, the lethality you describe is fairly disconnected from this item's properties. Any properties, especially dangerous ones, must extend organically from the core concept, or else people will object. There is already horror to this SCP. It's not one of my favorites, but it's not a bad article. Honestly, I'd probably remove the current "accidents" bit of this SCP. An article should be as simple as it can be and no simpler.
Huh, I had never considered removing the injury bit before. I suppose mental distress would be enough of a motivator… Excuse me while I ponder another rewrite attempt.