Needs a lot of work for tone, and also to make it seem like less of a joke.
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I like this. But you do need to make the description and addendums way less casual (e.g. "fifty-fifty"). You should also avoid drawing conclusions - it should be left to the reader. "Dr. theorizes….likely" is unnecessary, especially with that last experiment. The same goes for the "conjecture" in the second test.
Yay, grammar and spelling repairs done. *flies away*
After the last edit, I like this a lot more than I did when it originally went up. My only suggestion would be to add a few more test logs to show more specific cases.
I'd like to thank Agent Circeus and Sensei for the editing. Made my job a lot easier.
@Bright: Are there still tone issues? If so, where specifically?
While there are some humorous elements inherent to it, I fail to see how it is more of a 'joke' then some of the things that have gone into 914, for example.
@Sanpi: Noted, will be fixed. Want to wait for Bright's feedback first though - I don't want to go an fix the problems you mentioned, only to have to go in and fix Bright's as well. I've changed my original copy, though.
@Arty: I'm thinking of setting up a separate test log case to go wild on, as is the custom with this sort of SCP. I'm open to test ideas, as you guys can probably come up with more creative uses for this SCP then I can.
Everywhere. There's a whole bunch of casual language in there. Also, this is still, in essence, snakes in a can, but with cans of meat and random animals.
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Don't forget plants, too.
I'll try and weed out the casual language. Or maybe we should restrict reading this article to 'casual Fridays'. ;)
Languaged clinical-ified, feel free to with my edit what you want.
Okay, given that we're making-and-sealing our own cans, we've got some interesting possibilities here.
It has to be food? By what definition of 'food'? What about non-toxic contamination? You have a can of cherries and one cherry has a single wasp egg in it… what happens?
The bit with the meat from a living boar was interesting, but it still relies on the assumption that only part of an organism will be canned as food.
What happens if we make cans of, say… live whole mealworms? Or raw eggs? Or raw fertilized eggs?
What happens if we take a small portion of… say, hamster, and put it in a very large can? A can large enough that a hamster would have to crawl out rather than burst?
What if we have a can of honey? Does it generate bees? Does it generate flowers?
How small a 'part of an organism' counts? What about a single skin cell mixed in with the food?
Y'know, if it wasn't for the [DATA EXPUNGED] horribleness re: what happens to the evoked ingredients, we could use this to re-create extinct species. And we can still use this to raise the dead (even if only temporarily).
Did you know that fossils can be ground into powder and the powder used as ingredients in, say, Chinese traditional medicine?
Does insulin count as food? It is a protein, after all. What if it comes from a bacterial source? What if it comes from genengineered bacteria that have had insulin-producing genes artificially inserted?
edit: and I just thought of something else. [DATA EXPUNGED] in this context seems to involve some horrible explosive death, right?
What if we added a sample of SCP-682?
I'll attempt to address some of these:
Hamster in a large can - Yes, it would come out a normal, hamsterly rate. The only reason things shoot out is because you have many objects crammed into a small space (something inspired by SCP-2559-J).
Raw eggs/fertilized eggs: hmmm. Interesting. I'll have to do some studying and get back to you on that.
Fertilized eggs from egg-laying things (IE, wasp eggs): Come out as wasp eggs. Although if they are still alive while in the can it won't work. Hmm, I should clarify that.
And the entire reason for the [DATA EXPUNGED] was to prevent raising of the dead/dinosaurs or whatever. Although I suddenly want to see a T-Rex fight 682 (pointless, but worth it).
And to give a hint of what [DATA EXPUNGED] entails: "Sometimes, dead is better."
see, now I'm thinking about taking flesh samples from agents before sending them on dangerous missions. If they learn useful information but are killed before they can report it to us, we use the samples and the can opener to invoke them.
34 hours before [DATA EXPUNGED] kicks in; let's leave a nice big margin for error and shoot them after 24.
And if we're not done getting information….
we still have a bunch of flesh samples, right?
Can we invoke a single specimen more than once?
"What if we added a sample of SCP-682?"
Probably the containment breach to end all containment breaches. As for some of the other questions:
*A can of honey: I would say that it generates flowers, because honey is just flower stuff manipulated by bees to make food. If there was bee bits in the honey, then it would definitely shoot out a few bees as well. Probably too sticky to fly, though.
*How small a 'part of an organism': I guess it depends. If you want to make it down to an "exact" number in the report, you could state it as █.███g or something. This would mean that single cells wouldn't work (otherwise you'd get a flood of plankton and stuff along with the sea creatures), but quantities large enough to see without a microscope would work. Which would also explain the dolphin in the tuna test.
*Insulin, bacteria, etc.: Per above suggestion, these likely wouldn't work.
Good suggestions, all around. I'll update the SCP and add some tags.
Weird timey-wimey and/or spacey-wacey effects.
I think an 'under O5 consideration' proposal for testing with flesh extracted from a live human would be a good way to cap the page off. I know there's one for dead already, but it's the kind of thing that SCP would totally try. (Either under consideration or write what happened.)
I am completely supportive of Voct's idea about raising the dead for a certain period of time. Debriefing and interrogation are incredibly important tools of the Foundation. What if previously dead creatures brought back through the can just start decomposing at an incredibly accelerated rate, and their bodily functions cease after 34 hours?
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
