Beautiful. Well written and aptly titled. Upvoted hard.
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Aptly titled?
I'm missing something.
This is a Foundation raid on a Marshall/Dark/Carter club, as seen by a raidee. Yes?
It's a song. Fortunate son, by CCR, one of the more famous political songs of all time. It's a callout against the overpriviledged wealthy in the US. Part of the lyrics are
"It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no senator's son,
It ain't me, it ain't me,
I ain't no fortunate one, no"
Which echos ironically in Marcus, the senator's son, raised with money and an MC&D membership, crying out in the final paragraph that "they can't do this to him" because he's an american citizen and his father is a senator.
It's aptly titled.
And, like CCR, it would have blown my mind if I'd encountered it in 1967.
I'm sure this story is great but, I just can't finish it. Not trying to be a dick (yet sounding like one regardless), it's paced and styled like a seventh grade book report.
Marcus did this. Marcus did that. He went here. A friend waved. Marcus waved back. It was good.
It's disappointing because I really want to read it but every time I try, I just lose interest immediately. With some style fixes I'll be happy to give it another chance, though.
Yeah, you're right. I've always had this issue with my writing. Hopefully I'll grow out of it with a little practice. I'll put in some editing soon.
Edit: But I won't stand for this CCR bashing.
But I won't stand for this CCR bashing.
You have just ensured that I will now write a story titled "I Put A Spell On You" featuring SCP-352.
Agreeing with Waxx here, it feels very… off.
Admin, SCP Wiki
If this were true you'd instantly become my favorite senior staff member.
Oh no I wouldn't.
Very nicely written. Something in it seemed…dark. And humorous. The title got me, and I am glad it did.
(account deleted)Four-year thread bump as part of my ongoing life goal to get tales in general to be higher-rated and more noticed. This is an old one, but the style of it could easily match what we post here in 2017. Only problem I had with it formatting-wise was the paragraph spacing, and the point of the narrative is pretty solid. Perfect title and sociologically poignant. If you're in recent posts right now and notice this, I recommend you come give it a read.
/forum/t-211259/fortunate-son#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
