Subject deaths
Would a report on how the subjects died (natural causes, strange accidents, etc.) add to the article, in your opinion?
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Well, I wasn't planning to write one, but if you wanted to, I don't see why not. I'm personally more concerned about polishing the article itself up before thinking about adding anything more to it.
As for how they died, I think it should be an assortment. Some strange accidents, some dying from sudden illness, some heart attacks, a few suicides, maybe one person got caught in a mall shooting or something. You can be as creative as you want with it, really, if you decide to write something up.
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
I'm a little confused by a lot of things
A: What's with the part about expense reports? Why wouldn't they just move those if the only way to access them is through a Keter-level threat?
B: I really don't get the empty-eye-socket teleport thing. It is way too weird. Why does it lose an ability when in its natural state (Having eyes) and gains the ability when it is mutilated?
C: Why is there a complicated dummy-hallway containment procedure? Why is it in this specific place?
D: It's unclear (to me) if the hard-rubber eyes glow and/or cause the kill effect, although that might be me misreading it.
A: Good point. I'll fix that.
B: The idea is that its eyes are the source of its powers, and really the only thing anchoring it to this reality during the day. Without its eyes, it ends up floating off away to somewhere else when the sun comes up, and can't find its way back until nightfall. I'm as of yet unsure as to how to go about explaining that in the article, though. Its backstory is waaaay different than that now and there's a Tale that sort of explains it.
C: Part of the mythology behind it is that it's a spectre that appears most frequently at crossroads and infrequently-traveled places. Walling it off in a little-used intersection of corridors simulates that closely enough to discourage it from attempting to break containment.
D: They do. I should have made that clear; sorry.
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
SCP-023 just needs a lot more stuff. I don't mean it needs more power, or abilities, but the description section right now is five sentences. Five. That's as many sentences as you've read in this post so far, and I haven't said anything of value.
How does it behave? Why is it at the crossroads? Why did they take out its teeth? Did it bite a bunch of people? If it doesn't need to eat and has magic death eyes, why not fill its eye sockets with titanium replacements, then slap a hood and muzzle on it, and check in on it once a month?
Also, it took me a couple read throughs to notice the actual scary SCP nature of the beast (The killing stare) because it's only one sentence. That should be the main focus of the SCP, not jamming things in its eyes.
*adds some stuff*
Is it better now? I'm afraid I've opened up some more plotholes, though.
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
I just can't bring myself to upvote this.
Admin, SCP Wiki
What about now? I've changed Addendum 2 and added some stuff to the paragraph about the eye inserts
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
It's a rewrite of an existing myth, with nothing new or interesting added to it.
The part about what happened with glass eyes (in incident 023-27) wasn't in the original myth. >_>
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
As a somewhat trifling style tip-
I've been seeing a number of recent SCPs opening their description with "appears to be" or "seems to be". In some cases this is appropriate, such as when there is reason to doubt the SCP's actual physical form, or when the SCP's effects/abnormalities are perception-related.
However, if it's a dog, JUST SAY IT'S A DOG. Even if it's a ~spooky~ dog. And especially if you're going to use the word "apparently" immediately after, in the same sentence.
Alright. *fixes that*
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
Okay, you know, even I think this one sucks, and it's my SCP.
Please, someone overhaul it. Or delete it. I'm kinda ashamed to even have my name attached to it at this point, even though it technically counts towards my required three SCPs.
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
Can I no longer vote on this since I put in more than a casual edit? I don't think I can.
If you look at the rating history, it'll tell you that you already upvoted it.
Yes, sophos. He was asking if he should remove his upvote. That was the point.
Ragazzo, if you plan on claiming credit for work on the SCP, you should remove your upvote.
If the thing might be Keter level, why don't they try to kill it? It's obviously vulnerable to damage.
Secure. Contain. Protect. Not Destroy.
Unless it IS classified as Keter, it's to be studied. Even then, it's to be studied. Where did it come from? What are it's motivations?
The thing to remember is that there are reasons to study even the most dangerous of things - just because you've caught ONE doesn't mean there's not another out there. Or something that preys upon it.
Because for all we know if we try to kill it it will explode into a thousand copies of its eyes and they'll fly around and kill everyone ever. Really, it's already impossible, why should we expect that killing it will do what we want it to?
if your reading this your gay
This is an idea that I've had for a while, but I have absolutely no idea how to implement it in-article. Help?
Having eyes isn't 023's natural state. It used to be that it could travel great distances during the day, and seeing any part of it caused the eventual death effect. Something else, long before we actually contained it, gave it eyes in an attempt to limit the damage it can do. Then we went and fucked it up by removing them.
Piffy is an SCP Foundation Moderator, Lv. 9001 Squishy Wizard, and Knight of the Red Pen.
I love that idea - a rewrite on those lines to reinforce why it is the SCP not D foundation would be better in my opinion. Trim the main article, bring in the incident reports which are far more interesting. Something like
- initially SCP-023 is a completely physical "dog" and people die a year after looking at it.
- Foundation locks it in a box, problem solved.
- Research on the creature is tapped, Site director orders it hobbled and/or killed.
- Whoops, turns out it is an evil spirit that was trapped in the body.
- SCP-023 now appears nightly at a random cross road in an area too large to seal off.
- each night a containment team (who are themselves doomed because they will see the creature) has to search all possible cross roads and set up road blocks, with people dying if they take too long or if 023 appears at a busy locale.
- for added emo-ness the initial containment team is drawn from the researchers who set it free. Either way, assignment to the containment team is a death sentence (D-classes probably not an option given it is out in the wild so to speak).
I posted something similar in the "Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the SCP" thread, but if you give me a week, I'd love to work on this one.
/forum/t-210541/scp-023#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
