SCP-2238 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2238.

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(account deleted) 17 Jan 2017 22:28

Thanks to all the people who looked over this thing. I really do. I don't have much of a response at the moment.

Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this to do that well. I was panicking and wondering if this was even gonna stick for more than a day, but, wow. Now that the picture is is up, I have to give thanks to Cyantreuse , who made the picture. Thanks to Ihp, AbsentMindedNihlist, Shio, Lazar, and so many many others for looking over this. I never thought I would have made it on the mainlist, or on the site. Thank you. Thank you all.

Edit: And the Japanese wiki already has a translation of this article despite not being a week old. I'm…..I'm so fucking shocked.

Edit: Its….its at +40. Thank you, thank you all. I never expected this. Thank you all.

Last edited on 03 Feb 2017 03:07 by (account deleted) Show more

RJB_R 17 Jan 2017 23:43

Thoughts

This is pretty cool, I agree with Conwell below that anomalous broadcasts aren't the most original framing device in the world but the documents more than make up for it. There's an enticing timeline here and getting into an alternate universe unveiled Foundation is a great way to escalate things to a conclusion. I noticed a few SCP-XXXX's here and there but other than that, well done.

The picture is also pretty nifty, I wish there were more of them in the article but the one you've got does its job well enough.

---

Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!

(account deleted) 17 Jan 2017 23:52

Thank you! I was very nervous when I first posted it, feeling that it would have failed, being my first SCP. Thank you for the upvote and creating this contest, which allowed me to write this thing.

+1

Bluemorpho 17 Jan 2017 23:53

Hyped to see this worked out. Welcome to the having-a-mainlist club, I'll surely be joining you soon.

Last edited on 20 Jan 2017 16:36 by Bluemorpho Show more

MrWrong 21 Jan 2017 16:10

Edit: And the Japanese wiki already has a translation of this article despite not being a week old. I'm…..I'm so fucking shocked.

The Japanese site is a rather prolific lot, I would say.

Image Credit

(account deleted) 26 Oct 2017 22:01

The picture used here is a modified version of this picture here taken in 1943 by the US army, and as such is within the public domain.

Additionally, user Cyantreuse does not match any existing user name¹ modified this picture.

Footnotes

1. A million thanks.

Last edited on 26 Oct 2017 22:01 by (account deleted) Show more

Jacob Conwell 17 Jan 2017 23:38

Well alright. I like this.

A fake documentary series is not the most groundbreaking way of showing an alt-history, but you more than make up for that, in my opinion, by having two very interesting timelines at work. The excepts at the end were a particularly enjoyable part of the article.

I'd be interested in learning how the other GOIs fit into the war. Did MC&D, the Factory, and Anderson Robotics make a killing selling items to both sides? Did MC attempt humanitarian aid to those caught in the war zones? What was AWCY doing during all these shenanigans?

Overall, a solid skip for the contest. +1.

MrWrong 18 Jan 2017 01:40

You have worked with something that was roughly standard and made something meaningful out of it.

TyGently 18 Jan 2017 01:54

This one's a very mixed bag, so I'm novoting for now. There were quite a few spelling errors and minor formatting issues, which I did my best to fix, feel free to roll it back if I made any changes in error.

Showing an alt-history can be fruitful, and you do some good things with it, but the migration from "alt-history" to "Foundation-GOC war" doesn't feel narratively natural, and the flashpoint being "whoops the Foundation accidentally killed three thousand gock agents" doesn't make a ton of sense.

Notable Good Bits:

• The picture is nice, compliments to Cyan.
• The original timeline does paint a pretty interesting image of the world.
• The Excerpts at the end are, in general, pretty well-written, and avoid narm for the most part. My favorite was the testimony from the Brazil resident.
• The conclusion is relatively strong.

Notable Bad Bits:

• Inclusion of 096 is a bit whack. Killing six-figure numbers of civilians is patently ridiculous, as well as off-handedly amnesticizing an entire country in five days.
• Detaining over a thousand staff members over something obviously not from our timeline does not reflect well on the Foundation. It is very hard for a piece to be convincing when it makes the Foundation look incompetent.
• The lack of information on what happens post-1946 or post-occult-war is a bit frustrating. Surely the Foundation could infer from the narration at least a few things about what the present is like in this world? For example, "unlike x today…"

Plilt 18 Jan 2017 04:22

Inclusion of 096 is a bit whack. Killing six-figure numbers of civilians is patently ridiculous, as well as off-handedly amnesticizing an entire country in five days.

Seconding this. I had to check to see if there was a major hurricane or something during that period, but there doesn't seem to have been one.

Agent MacLeod 18 Jan 2017 05:01

County, not country. Couple dozen crop dusters could do it if your headcanon allows for that.

Petrograd 18 Jan 2017 16:49

These largely cover my feelings. The 096 reference was gooofy and immersion-breaking; anything more than four figures is just silly. (I'm with MacLeod on the crop-dusters though.)

The alternate history was alright, if nothing fantastical, and there were some off elements (did you mean Czarina Alexandra? Also, Napoleonic France degrading Indio a dark age… could use some more explanation, let's say.) The GOC/Foundation war had a fair amount of war crime/tragedy to it, but nothing I haven't seen more convincingly expressed elsewhere, and the events expressed there aren't explored in much detail, just kind of sprinkled in.

No vote overall, I think. The 096 reference just knocked me right out of it, and the rest sort of floats just near the level of being really interesting.

(account deleted) 18 Jan 2017 03:05

Although I second TyGently about some stuff, this had enough effort and historical context put into it that I consider it upvote-worthy.

weizhong 18 Jan 2017 04:39

I absolutely love, love, love the topic of alternate history, so I had high hopes for this article coming in, but there were just a bunch of things that didn't quite make sense to me (similarily to what TyGently and Cyantreuse both mentioned) that made it hard for me to stomach, such as:

• Somehow most of central/southern/eastern Europe experiences little change-which doesn't seem to make sense if Napoleon conquered their governments and replaced them. Even if they were conquered, things like Italy's unification and the formation of Poland were highly highly dependent on events in Austria and Germany that presumably would have never happened in this timeline.
• France goes from "collapsing" to somehow being in control over most of Europe with no explanation, which is inconsistent.
• For some reason France invades Great Britain and the Soviet Union for oil of all things, which makes little to no sense.

Things like this really hurt the immersion of the article, and the randomness of 096 and a bunch of other skips being tossed in for what seems like name dropping reasons kind of kills it for me.

(account deleted) 18 Jan 2017 04:43

I have heard the criticism, and I can see where it comes from. I can cut some of the things that feel forced and/or stupid, but only after the contest due to the parameters of said contest. I'll cut out 096 and some other ones.

Thanks for the feedback.

Agent MacLeod 18 Jan 2017 05:06

Is this the alt-reality from the first chapter of War is Child's Play?

Superblobby 19 Jan 2017 03:24

I really like this concept for hiscon, an an alternate reality being aired on TV. The other thing that makes it shocking is that it knew about the foundation and its tracking of it. I do second other criticisms such as the high number of 096 deaths.

In the end however, your pros outweigh the cons

Take my +1

PS: I loved your nod to dr mann and the broken masquerade canon

Last edited on 19 Jan 2017 03:27 by Superblobby Show more

Bluemorpho 20 Jan 2017 16:34

I don't really know much about translations, but I know if you ALREADY have one your article is probably better than average, even without the kinda cringey 096 breach.

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