SCP-2709 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2709.

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AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Dec 2016 14:53

Thank you very much to salvagebar, Gaffsey, weryllium, AidenEldritch, shaggydredlocks, and Lex1nat0r for their help.

Based on a weird incident that happened to me when I was home alone: my dog, who never barks, began barking at something in the forest near my home - as did every other dog in the neighbourhood. Amidst the barks, I heard something like a laugh… Later learned it was probably a coyote, but the image of every animals going crazy at the presence of something just stuck with me.

Communism will win 23 Dec 2016 15:14

Wow.

That's the first well-executed horror on this site that I can recall actually being unsettled by in… I don't know how long. And you managed to do it with

+ show block

a giant antlion larva.

Well done.

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if your reading this your gay

AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Dec 2016 15:19

Thank you!!!

(also good god some people say you should EAT those things to cure your diabetes)

Comparing Realities 24 Dec 2016 01:47

How? Why?

Leveritas 23 Dec 2016 15:35

The expedition did it for me. No one should underestimate how hard it is to create characters like that. Very well done.

A Random Day 23 Dec 2016 16:17

That is a fantastic exploration log. My only problem is that 2709-1 is not brought up before the mission logs(while I understand that it's for dramatic effect, it feels like poor organization on the Foundation's part).

(account deleted) 23 Dec 2016 16:39

Agreed. While I like this SCP in general, you'd think the Foundation would try at least try a helicopter survey first. Upvoted all the same.

AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Dec 2016 17:29

Well, they did try unmanned surveys first - they just didn't see it, as the creature isn't visible from aboveground.

AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Dec 2016 17:28

Yeah, I was trying to figure out exactly how that worked. My logic was that we're seeing the article just after the mission itself, before the information could be mixed in to the article proper.

minmin 23 Dec 2016 16:39

I dig this. The idea that the antlion is just the tip of the anomalous iceberg, that there's something else magic at work behind the scenes that even the Foundation can't quite get to - that's juicy af. Upvote!

SoullessSingularity 23 Dec 2016 20:32

Previous trauma or history of anxiety can make a human subject susceptible to SP-2709's effects.

Typo here.

I think the logs sell this, but there needs to be a stronger implication as to what is behind the antlion or that there are further attempts towards the middle. Right now to me it shows promising intrigue on two really well done logs but it doesn't exude the full "oh god something is wrong something is wrong and I might have an idea of what it is oh god no" that I feel this can have.

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Living the dream, or dreaming the life?

Genshed 23 Dec 2016 21:51

There are two SF novels from decades ago - "Cold War in a Country Garden" and "Killer Pine" - long story short, but there's a scene in which an antlion kills a person. I was reminded of that, but this was worse (in the sense of being more horrific).

One minor detail - I've read the logs twice, and am unsure about how to interpret the 'it only kills humans' part. Immune v target.

Pity about the termites who were only trying to warn the huge meatsacks about the huge meatsack-eating thing, though.

+1, would itch uncomfortably again.

AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Dec 2016 22:00

Humans aren't immune to its effects because they're stronger than it. They specifically aren't affected by it because their evolutionary innate fear of it is being suppressed by our frontal cortices. As such, it preys upon us specifically. But someone with an altered brain structure - like Phineas Gage, whos frontal cortex was destroyed, or someone with sufficiently severe anxiety/paranoia… their amygdala is able to send that "GTFO" signal. It's survived for so long on a human-only diet because humans like to send large parties after scary monsters. Whoops.

All the animals are trying to warn the humans in order to starve it and allow them to live in safety.

Comparing Realities 24 Dec 2016 01:45

Err, to be honest, I didn't particularly like it. Very hesitant neutral vote, though; good presentation and execution in the later half of the second log saved it. The "oh crap, they were warning us" bit was nice, I'll admit.

This article is conceptually just another reiteration of the "tale presented in the form of an expedition log" quasi-format-screw trope. It doesn't have a particularly throat-grabbing idea to begin with; it just feels like a generic thing what kills you. If you'd written in typical fashion with a more detailed description and a less prominent log, it wouldn't be particularly fascinating. And the first log is way too informal. It largely would have been redacted.

Unless I'm missing something, this is a weak article.

+ Unimportant minutiae

█████████ Forest in Clearfield, Pennsylvania

Why redact the name of the forest, but not the town? Anybody could just Google the town and find the forest.

Last edited on 24 Dec 2016 01:49 by Comparing Realities Show more

AbsentmindedNihilist 24 Dec 2016 01:57

It's…not a format screw? Criticizing an article for having the narrative mainly in the form of exploration logs is like criticizing a novel for having a story told mainly through flashbacks - it's a storytelling device. It's one way in which you can convey information. Many of djkaktus' works, for example, rely on this way of moving the plot forward.

There are also several SCPs for which the point is not the effect in itself - they act more as a vehicle for the narrative. This is one of those where it doesn't revolve centrally around the nature of the SCP itself - it is more about the discovery and escape from it.

Comparing Realities 24 Dec 2016 20:31

I see where you're coming from; as you said, the focus of this article is on the people involved and their exploration, not on the SCP itself. But I just feel that the magic of an SCP article is writing in such a way as to allow the reader to fill in the terrifying blanks themselves. My contention isn't that the presentation is bad. The presentation is what makes it good, in fact. I'm saying that the core concept of this article wouldn't work unless it was presented in the exact way you did it, but, it's also in the wrong format for me to appreciate the presentation, too. There aren't really any blanks for me to fill in, because the two survivors verbally expressed that "oh crap" moment before I got around to doing it myself. I felt kind of cheated. For that reason, I feel this would have worked far better as a tale, where I walk in with a different set of expectations.

Last edited on 24 Dec 2016 20:32 by Comparing Realities Show more

SpectralDragon 04 Jan 2017 16:55

All hail the scream circle.

AbsentmindedNihilist 11 Jan 2017 23:53

Just gonna reiterate for all the peeps possible coming here from 2758: these are in no way linked!

(Or are they…) ((No, Niles, stop being a dick. They're not linked.))

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