SCP-2889 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2889.

page 1 of 212next »

AbsentmindedNihilist 21 Nov 2016 18:37

Thank you to everyone who looked at this in chat, including weryllium, ResearcherZee, Xeno, Rimple, AidenEldritch, Salvagebar, lurkd, minmin, Jekeled, SpectralDragon, and LilyFlower.

If you're not familiar with the legend of Cyparissus, I recommend you look into it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyparissus.

Also, yes, that is the same Agent Miller from 2547.

2547-1 is NOT happy someone ate his gorgeous man.

I'm taking bets now.

SpectralDragon 22 Nov 2016 18:45

Two furries enter, one furry leaves. Place your bets here, folks.

AbsentmindedNihilist 22 Nov 2016 20:28

Avery and 810-J are the announcers.

Number of ceramic mushroom statues regurgitated: 1

Dog puns: 79

Deer puns: 54

Number of claims made about Mick Jagger: 13

The start of an all-furry wrestling league: priceless.¹

Footnotes

1. Apologies, Mastercard.

SpectralDragon 22 Nov 2016 22:00

I'd break into the Hand to watch the furry wrestling league.

AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Nov 2016 01:48

In the audience: the entirety of the Pitch Haven cast.

Communism will win 21 Nov 2016 18:38

Nice stuff. The first paragraph of the description could stand to be broken up into two, but other than that I really like what you have going on here.

---

if your reading this your gay

AbsentmindedNihilist 21 Nov 2016 18:40

Done, much obliged.

terracottaworrier 22 Nov 2016 01:59

I am a total sucker for Greek mythology (blame Rick Riordan) so I might be biased when I say how much I enjoyed this SCP. I love the meshing of modern tourism/sales with the old myth, and the detail that you've put into it.

Zyn 22 Nov 2016 04:02

I am also a total sucker for Greek mythology.

The log is the best part of the piece, I think. +1

nimz0 22 Nov 2016 06:53

This is sick! Love the human tears idea and the incident report!

Ogilvy 22 Nov 2016 13:13

I can't help but notice that the dialogue is in Latin instead of ancient Greek. I do understand that Greeks and Romans pretty much shared the same mythology, and I think that you made a good choice using the Latin. Latin seems more familiar and partly translatable to the reader. Most of it seems correct as I can recall, but shouldn't the names be in the locative case?

AbsentmindedNihilist 22 Nov 2016 13:18

I chose Latin so I could incorporate the species name - however, I believe the eromenes and erastes are Greek words, but they didn't have an equivalent in Latin - it's the very specific Greek pedastery terminology. However, I don't know enough about Latin declensions to be sure if I've used the right one, so if you believe it to be wrong, please feel free to fix it!

Triangle1118Energy 22 Nov 2016 15:38

It's dangerous, but I found the first half a little funny the first time through.
If you could collapse the log, I think it would make the entry seem much cleaner, especially since it takes up most of the page.
Good job.

Last edited on 22 Nov 2016 15:47 by Triangle1118Energy Show more

psul 23 Nov 2016 09:12

I'm struggling a bit with suspension of disbelief for this one. Principally:

• Containment Procedures seem a bit lax. Why hasn't the entire town of Freshwater been locked up as anomalous (by virtue of immunity to the oil), or at least quarantined (to stop the annual tourist attendance)?

• You never quite make the link between "perceives all smells as 2889 oil", and "wants to go to Freshwater". Essentially this is a compulsion effect, and while I can understand the desire to obscure that fact, it means the progression of the story doesn't necessarily follow.

• I don't think that municipalities have the power to enact capital laws. Especially in Vermont, which doesn't have the death penalty generally. If you want to go down that road, shouldn't the Foundation be enquiring into how such a law was passed?

• I don't understand the need for the paragraph about bodily fluids being replaced with 2889 oil. It doesn't pay off later in the story, or seem particularly relevant to the subtext / backstory of Cyparissus, and I don't think it's necessary for scene-setting. For me, it's part of where the skip crosses the "Conservation of WTF" line.

• In the logs, if the mumbling is unintelligible, how does Klein know that the D-Class is mimicking it?

• There are a few items of description in the logs that don't really work based on the view being from a body-camera attached to the D-Class. For example "the team follows D-19245" wouldn't be seen on the body camera, and neither would it be clear that the young man had cut the D-Class' throat.

• It seems strange that none of the Foundation team made an attempt to discharge their weapons during the attack.

• Considering that this is based on the Cyparissus story, it is odd to have the idea of the mourning young man and his deer companion suddenly turn out to be bloodthirsty monsters. That seems to do a disservice to the themes of the myth, and be a bit of an obvious/simplistic way to end the story.

AbsentmindedNihilist 23 Nov 2016 12:03

The replacement of the bodily fluids with oil is, basically, the skip trying to continue its effects when people aren't allowed in - by making the people trying to contain it items in the lure.

The effect, is not, in fact, a compulsion: it's led by curiosity. You perceive all smells as this one smell, which you can only describe with a particular phrase. If that phrase leads you to a town called Freshwater, Vermont…

The municipalities not being able to enact capital laws was deliberate on my part, and was meant to be an indication that this town is not…entirely governed by the rules of the rest of Vermont - perhaps not even truly perceiving it for what it is.

The rest of your complaints, however, are totally valid, and I will be working on them as such.

Khym Chanur 04 Dec 2016 16:13

+Show problems+

SCP-2889 is also used as a tourist attraction in the months before the yearly harvest.

Shouldn't that be past-tense, since the town has been contained?

When input into a search engine, the phrase "that sweet, clean, Freshwater smell" results in a link to the tourism page of Freshwater, VT.

Is this part of the anomaly? If not, why hasn't the Foundation shut down the tourism site yet?

Interviews with inhabitants of Freshwater show that they are aware of both the effects of SCP-2889

Shouldn't that be "the effects of SCP-2889 oil"?

Unidentified: I know, love. You're hungry. I know. But look! Right on time. The lure works, love. It always does.

Shouldn't that be spoken in ancient Greek?

The inhabitants of Freshwater use SCP-2889 for logging purposes, as well as harvesting and selling the essential oils exuded by SCP-2889.

Might want to refer to the oils as SCP-2889-1 or SCP-2889-A.

AbsentmindedNihilist 04 Dec 2016 18:49

The forest will affect you the same way as the oil does, so there's not a huge need to designate them separately.

The young man is perfectly capable of speaking English.

The rest of it, I fixed. Thank you v. much.

page 1 of 212next »