Thanks to Voct, AidenEldritch, Solo, Zyn, and everyone else that took at look at this.
I remember this as a draft, and most of the problems I saw there are still here. I'm just not buying this as an orientation. It's far too similar (as most orientations would be) to extant pieces already on the site. Without something to differentiate it, it falls flat for me.
Agreed on all points. I've long since reached the point where the standard orientation format is tiresome, and this does nothing to differentiate itself from that. In addition, the thing it's an orientation for isn't even that interesting, at least not as presented.
Addressed.
Ah, crap. I knew I forgot something. Edited. Both here and in the discussion.
please forgive me
I'm reminded of early Devo:
"Suburban robots who monitor reality/
Common stock, we work around the clock/
We shove the poles in the holes."
When poles need to be shoved, you need people who can shove poles. It's a dirty job, Dale, but somebody's got to do it.
This tale isn't bad, but there are just some things I really think could be tweaked and explored more. The expositional stuff about what "disinformation" means probably can be cut down a bit because I'm assuming the fictional audience and the reader know what the word means. The security verses protection bit is good.
I know the "boots on the ground" part of the operation is gnarly, but disinformation could have so many more implications. I think you could benefit on being even more specific than what you have right now. Your speaker just skids through vague examples without really giving us substance.
Many, if not all of you, come from somewhere else within the Foundation. You probably feel used to seeing and dealing with horrible things. Show of hands. Anyone from Ethics Committee? Nobody? That's not really unusual. But, they're the best equipped to deal with this sort of thing. If you get the chance, go to their orientation. Really thought-provoking stuff.
This paragraph really juts out awkwardly to me, and not because it mentions the EC; the later mention works because it makes sense. Maybe it's just my headcanon, but based on the Ethics Committee Orientation (which you're obviously referencing here), my impression is that it's not something you just waltz into, which means it doesn't make sense that the speaker would say "go to the orientation if you get the chance". Plus, bureau would imply it is a larger coalition with more people; committee would suggest a smaller and more elite collection.
I know Voct did help you with this, so maybe I'm overthinking this, but I really just think it's not a great link between the two.
Nearly forgot. In one of the few upsides of being in the Disinformation Bureau, our canteen is a full-fledged bar, [REDRAFTED].
This made me smile a bit, but the wording was a bit confusing on first read as I thought it was weird there's a redaction in a candid transcript tale. Maybe italicize it, or add a few words to make it clear it's a name.
The Disinformation Bureau does a LOT of things. This is sort of the overview. If this is received warmly, I'm considering doing 'follow-up' orientations - where more specifics into what particular positions end up doing. I would like to add more - but not bloat the tale.
The ethics committee orientation ISN'T something that you can just walk into. The intended interpretation is that DB employees as a whole (at least after a period of time) are often cleared high enough to get that sort of information (the speaker certainly is) by default. Also, Voct did a bit of critting on this one, but wasn't really integral to the development process. If the interpretation still doesn't make sense after reading this, I should probably fix it.
If you take another glance, It's redrafted (as in draft beer), not redacted. I can't remember who on 19 gave me that particular pun, but it's quite apt.
This is sort of the overview.
I think my biggest problem is I already really know where half of the tale is going by looking at the title; I was hoping there would be more into what "disinformation" entails. Was there specific incidents where they failed? Had a botched disinformation campaign led to something even worse? How do you craft a believable lie?
The intended interpretation is that DB employees as a whole (at least after a period of time) are often cleared high enough to get that sort of information (the speaker certainly is) by default.
See this is where it sort of breaks my headcanon. But that's just me, other people can have their own interpretation.
beer
I got that part, yes, I'm just saying on first read it's not immediately obviously it's not a redaction but a pun. I liked the pun when I realized it's the name, but it could benefit from being just a smidgen more clear.
I think my biggest problem is I already really know where half of the tale is going by looking at the title; I was hoping there would be more into what "disinformation" entails. Was there specific incidents where they failed? Had a botched disinformation campaign led to something even worse? How do you craft a believable lie?
Exactly what I couldn't put in here without bloating it, and exactly what I intend to write about in subsequent articles.
I like it. I assume the follow-up take will cover the adventures of Black Trenchcoat and Other Black Trenchcoat?
I'll keep that idea in the back of my mind, but if someone wants to turn those two into characters, be my guest.
the adventures of Black Trenchcoat and Other Black Trenchcoat
Honestly I'd read that. What kinda extra do you have to be to show up to orientation in a black trenchcoat?
Some of you may go on to work with totalitarian governments. They'll be glad to have you - a lot of their weapons research comes from us. The Foundation does a lot of testing in backwater countries. Less prying eyes, suppressed media, easily manipulated corruption, less concern for human rights. Your job is information control in that particular country. Some countries like to put you in the cabinet, some like to keep you in the shadows. Either way, you will be helping to enforce the will of a crackpot dictator.
This is the part that most bugs me, since is what the Chaos Insurgency was described to do as well (As in the Group Of Interest Page). The SCP-1427 case is a particular since is necessary for the containment of the object.I can buy that backwater countries are good for D-Class income and testing, but I can't buy they have special treatment than other countries (Like sharing weapon research), if that's the case, why the Foundation and its Disinformation Bureau try to put the world under a great dictatorship to make their work easier?
In my headcanon, it's a matter of necessity. You either run the risk of having a site compromised in someplace like the US, and the media running away with it, or make some small concessions to dictatorship in return for subjects and no interference. The Foundation doesn't give them bleeding-edge tech, but just enough to satisfy.
Well, its clear that the Disinformation its rather easier in those countries (As long other GOIs are not involved), that's the point you're making here. I guess it wasn't clear whatever the agents were working undercovered or not, that was one of my greater doubts.
Looking forward the follow-up BTW.
+1, very well written and entertaining
There will be times where you will have to do horrible, inexcusable thing to others.
thing missing an s
The only thing that have in common is that all of them, more or less directly, fuck with people's lives and how they live them.
"The only thing that (they) have in common", if I'm not mistaken
Developing paranoia is a job requirement.