SCP by Series
Other SCP
Feed
Stories
Discovery
Random
I like this, but I think it should be Keter. The Foundation has no reliable way to contain it other than tracking it and spreading disinformation campaigns to cover up the attacks. It's an active and uncontained threat. I really liked the imagery of a ship cobbled together from other vessels, and the log was nicely spooky. +1
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Okay, I'll see what the consensus is and then take action from there
Seconded. "No way is this Euclid!" was one of my first thoughts once I got to the description.
edit: More detailed crit after a SPaG comb-through. I like the idea: it's creepy and doesn't feel too derivative of on- or off-wiki material — which is surprising given that, to my mind, this kind of amalgam ghost ship is a centuries-old trope (SS Moloch anyone?). I think this is possibly due to the more modern elements you've included and the addition of the mind-affecting anomaly — either way, well done!
In terms of the writing, this feels very much like something you pushed out all at once without much proofreading, as evidenced by the number of SPaG corrections I made. (Sorry!) I'm actually quite impressed that you didn't do much checking over, because the story structure is pretty good: you've presented the information in a nice narrative order, and there aren't any sections that feel especially weaker than the others. And shaggydredlocks has taken the words right out of my mouth re: detail. But if you zoom onto the sentence level, some parts come across a bit awkward or breathless:
This is believed to be a form of mind-affecting anomaly, evidenced by any person coming into contact or close proximity with SCP-2467 for an extended period of time (3-10 days depending on the individual) comes to believe the SCP-2467 is correct in its actions, and will attempt to aid it however they are able.
This is just ungrammatical, I'm afraid. I didn't want to edit this because then I'd inevitably be imposing my own style upon it, and this kind of phrasing should be totally up to the author. I'd recommend trying to express this idea more succinctly, or just splitting it up into separate sentences.
In an effort to better understand SCP-2467, particularly effects and any notable events occurring on board the vessel, four D-Class personnel trained in sailing (D-2467-01 - 04) were provided with a small (9 metre) yacht launched from the SCPS Sunderland and given orders to sail north with the SCPS Sunderland tailing them at a distance of 7 kilometres with the intention of them being boarded and abducted by SCP-2467 to observe the actives of SCP-2467 and its effects on those aboard.
My internal voice ran out of air by the end of that! Sprinkle in some commas, at minimum, or break this apart into, like, five sentences. :P There are a couple of other sections with similar problems. (Additionally, that "-01 - 04" is slightly ambiguous — I'd personally go for something like "-01 to -04".) Oh dang, and I just noticed "to observe the actives of".
Foundation satellites are to constantly track the movement of SCP-2467, with analysts and programs predicting the movements of the object, with plants in the meteorological bureau to divert traffic from areas likely to be visited by SCP-2467.
Double "with + noun" there. Repetition of structure or words crops up now and then throughout the piece, and should be rephrased when possible.
Overall verdict: good idea executed with good storytelling ability, which brings me very close to upvoting, but too much of the wording is too clumsy for me to do so right now. Go over this sentence by sentence and patch those minor issues up, and I'll happily +1.
edit 2: one more thing I forgot to mention: the non-D-class folks on the ship seem an integral part of this anomaly, and an interesting one, so you could definitely spend more time talking about them.
Going to have to agree with Roget. This definitely should be Keter.
There is an excellent attention to detail that makes this incredibly immersive start to finish. Excellent job on the video log! +1
It just didn't grab me. I've never been big on nautical SCPs, and this one didn't have any parts that really stood out. The log was fairly predictable as well. Shrug.
if your reading this your gay
The reference to Edmund Fitzgerald seems way out of place, and as far as I could tell it doesn't tie in to the rest of the narrative at all.
I think it needed to be there in order to show that this thing doesn't collect ship parts just by physically collecting them, something weirder is happening.
Same line of thought here- for me it's also a rare instance of referencing a real-world disaster actually improving a piece, as it raises the question of whether it brings microbursts with it or if it can appear wherever microbursts are.
Honestly, I'm really annoyed by the existence of this SCP. Much to my dismay, I had almost the exact same idea (spooky ship that screws over weather and takes people) today. So when I'm looking through keter class SCPs and stumble upon this, I'm rather annoyed someone beat me to the idea.
Regardless, this was an excellent read and very mysteriously. I gave it a +1, then a -1 just so I could give it another +1. Love it.
(V) (;,,;) (V)
I felt that the article stood well enough on its own, and was actually a bit bummed when it bexame apparent that the collapsible was going to be an additional narrative. While it was certainly well-written, it didn't add very much to the article beyond the spooky humming detail, which could easily be articulated in the description.
Still, an enjoyably unnerving read. +1
Generally good, but I have a couple of nits to pick:
waves reaching up to and over a peak height of 25 metres
Sorry, this is one of my major pet peeves. Literally every number is either up to or over 25, so this really doesn't tell us anything at all. I would say, "waves typically/frequently/occasionally reaching a peak height of 25 metres," depending on how often you envision this happening. The sentence about outliers already tells us that the waves can reach greater heights.
This is believed to be a form of mind-affecting anomaly, evidenced by any person coming into contact or close proximity with SCP-2467 for an extended period of time (3-10 days depending on the individual) comes to believe the SCP-2467 is correct in its actions, and will attempt to aid it however they are able.
As Buttfranklin said, this is just ungrammatical. It could possibly work if you changed it to, "evidenced by the fact that any person, etc." You'd probably be better off splitting it into two or three sentences, though.
Ca't believe that my first SCP has reached +50 in votes! This is so great, thank you all so much.
(account deleted)
