(account deleted) 11 Sep 2016 09:53
I loved it in chat and I love it here.
Take your dammed +1 you genius.
SCP-2630 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2630.
(account deleted) 11 Sep 2016 09:53
I am somewhat confused by the presence of the Third Law stylistic on an SCP article. Perhaps it's your choice, but I do not think it is relevant to the article (beyond the PL reference).1
Beyond that, it is lovely to see another para-economics SCP. This one feels more magic-based.
Footnotes
1. By that logic, Third Law should apply to every PL article on the site.
Yeah, I don't think these stylistic thingies go well on mainlist articles outside of meta SCPs
I also agree that SCP article CSS should be left as normal unless it is an element of the article itself; at the moment on the site, fancy CSS gets used to identify a few GOI Format pages, or (as with Third Law stuff in general) to unify a canon. When I saw the formatting, I was confused about whose perspective it was from, thinking that it might somehow be an SCP document which was actually written by Prometheus (which would certainly be interesting), and then… it wasn't. This is still documentation from the perspective of the Foundation, and I feel like the style of the page should reflect that.
I'm not typically one to criticise odd stylistic choices, but they need to be in service of the content. I don't feel that's the case here - all it did was briefly confuse me.
an SCP document which was actually written by Prometheus (which would certainly be interesting)
Like a Foundation that fully (and openly) integrated Prometheus Labs into their R&D?
That was more or less what I expected when I started reading the article, yeah. Another reason might be that they made it so that the only documentation of it that can exist is the most recent version of their user manual (so there's no misinformation around), so the Foundation would just put that verbatim in the slot - though that concept might work better for a different GOI. Or perhaps Prometheus might just have gotten some contract work analysing this object the Foundation was stuck with, and so the current entry for the object in the Foundation database is from their technical report until the Foundation gets around to writing a formal article. Or hell, maybe some of the background knowledge is from a defunct Prometheus Tech Support Hotline run by a snarky AI that's annoyed that it has to keep the line going when the labs have gone defunct.
(writers are encouraged to steal these ideas because now I want to read all of them but don't have the time right now to write any of them)
Seriously? I'd love to see a PL scientist just very casually bring this up in a board meeting like it's not at all horrifying. +1 10/10 would disembowel again.
Damn, we've had a spate of good posts today! I love the idea here - it's fantastic - and you've conveyed all the key details with pleasing efficiency.
Just two things I'd say:
- "SCP-2630 occupies an approximate area of 3.5 x 5.0 x 3.0 meters (WxLxH)": an area with three dimensions? Whuh-oh!!! Don't you mean volume? ;)
- I think you can tighten up the writing. There aren't any sentences which are especially weak compared to the others, so I won't pick out particular examples, but I feel that you have a couple of superfluous or slightly off-tone words here and there. Jigging around with those would get you even closer to the famous punchiness of ophite's work. Ninja-edit: not just the individual words, but the phrasing too: e.g. in the above sentence, "occupies an approximate area of…" should really be "occupies an area of approximately…" - after all, it's not the area itself that's "approximate", it's the measurement of the area.
First point: it can just mean a general space when it's used like in "dining area": which typically implies your diners are eating in more than two spatial dimensions. x3
Second point: I'll give it a second skimthrough today just to see if I can tighten up the prose a little bit. Thanks for the feedback.
I am going to try and indicate the rooms of my house as volumes now :D
This is my livingvolume.
It's like if someone left an Ophite SCP on the stove for a while and some of it boiled away. That's not a bad thing on its own, and neither is the article, but I don't think it's the right way to make a haruspicy machine. You execute the whiplash, but don't have anywhere to go with it, because it's a very straightforward article.
No vote. I think there's a quality article here, but I fall just short of feeling it.
if your reading this your gay
/forum/t-1859293/scp-2630#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
