[SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

Summary:

haunted house with a much darker twist

[SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 02 Oct 2026 06:16

I've come up with the concept of an SCP article written in two parts. The central theme of this SCP is a haunted house with a much darker twist. Please read the entire thread for the cheesy details!

I moved and trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions (the text in the little box under the thread title) and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~Zyn

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Horror

Page Layout (Optional): Regular

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Elevator Pitch: The narrative follows a mansion haunted by the spirit of a young girl named Anna who was murdered by her own father, William Anderson, for being transgender. William is sentenced to death for this heinous crime. Her mother, Anastasia Munarova, finds some obscure rituals on the dark web and attempts to resurrect her. Anastasia's ritual fails miserable, and Anna returns as a warped, semi-corporeal being with minor reality warping capabilities. She cannot exit the mansion itself. Anastasia went insane and took her own life. William is picked up by the Foundation as a D-Class, but it's only revealed years later, when William is sent into the mansion as a part of routine testing by Dr. Sophia Light. William dies at the hands of Anna, serving poetic justice. The anomaly is supposed to be Euclid, as it is confined to one geographical location, but always responds in a violent way to intruders.

Central Narrative: The narrative of this SCP is centred around the murder and revenge of a young trans girl named Anna.

Hook/Attention-Grabber (Optional): The form of thaumaturgy used to resurrect Anna is not Sarkic in nature.

Additional Notes (Optional): Anastasia wasn't a part of any GoI; she was a regular human being, driven by the zeal to resurrect her beloved daughter. William is portrayed as a misogynist and transphobe who used to abuse his family. Anna also has some knowledge of the Foundation, as she remembers all the experiments. Therefore, she generates an illusion of the Foundation coming to rescue William to torture him psychologically. In this scene, the illusion she creates is an inaccurate copy of the Foundation, suggesting that either she doesn't know it very well or she's doing it on purpose.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 04 Oct 2026 02:23 by AnnaTransGirlie Show more

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

Augmented Helix 02 Oct 2026 13:51

I don't have greenlighting rights, but I can still give critique.

Personally, I quite like this idea. It's always nice to see a wronged SCP exacting revenge and I like the idea of Anastasia climbing the ranks specifically to avenge her daughter. Mother of the year we have here! And the fact that the SCP was created only in order to get that vengance is the cherry on top.

However, since William is a D-Class, the Foundation wouldn't have any need to trick him into entering and would just force him to enter the mansion anyway. It would also be best if you could explain or imply in the article what exactly went down between William and Anastasia (unless the mystery is what you're going for.)

Other than that, this is a great idea!

Last edited on 02 Oct 2026 14:26 by Augmented Helix Show more

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 02 Oct 2026 15:26

Thank you for your feedback! The trickery part is meant to add more emotional depth and to generate anticipation. I could frame it this way: the D-Class would've let the Foundation terminate him rather than obeying their order to enter because he knew exactly what this SCP was about. Therefore, Anastasia had to implant false memories in his mind to make him enter

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

Augmented Helix 02 Oct 2026 16:35

How does she implant the false memories?

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 02 Oct 2026 16:50

By using a mix of amnestics and synthetic memory syrups developed by the Foundation for general use in suppressing public knowledge of the anomalous.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

Augmented Helix 02 Oct 2026 22:04

Alright.

I suggest thinking about ways to develop what Ana and William's relationship was like before he murdered her. That would make it more cathartic to see his downfall.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 03 Oct 2026 01:25

Thank you so much for your guidance! I am thinking of William as an abusive father and husband. Though I plan to make William have some love for his "son" before she came out as a trans girl. William was both a transphobe and a misogynist, which caused him to murder his own daughter in a fit of rage.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

Augmented Helix 03 Oct 2026 01:27

…….Wow. What a fuckhead. Wonder how the hell they even got married.

Contact me more whenever you need more assistance. I’d be glad to help you with the draft as well once you’ve got everything figured out.

You’re off to a great start!

Last edited on 03 Oct 2026 01:28 by Augmented Helix Show more

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 03 Oct 2026 03:22

Thank you! But I need two greenlights before I can use the Drafts Critique forum. I would say they got married due to societal pressure, or due to Anastasia's love for him. Or maybe he had never been an asshole until they got married.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

themustacheguy 03 Oct 2026 05:28

I don't have rights to greenlighting but I can still critique!

First of all there's a major plot hole, why would the women become an O5 member just to kill her ex husband? It doesn't really make sense. Second of all, this just reads like pure melodrama. It's like the entire foundation just morphs to accommodate your soap opera.

Also I can see your attempting to explore some heavy human horror, I expected it to be serious but the daughter just becomes a "spooky reality warping" ghost and the mother climbs to the top of the world just for a generic revenge plot. (Smashing things together isn't bad in itself but It also feels too directionless.)

I recommend you refine this concept yourself because it's too messy.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 03 Oct 2026 06:33

Ok thx! I've come up with a few ideas:
1. The woman was actually trying to revive her daughter but ended up creating an anomaly
2. After the creation of the anomaly, the woman decided to let her daughter kill the murderer by her own hands so that she could finally rest in peace
3. The mother has to climb up to the O5 Council as testing was suspended for this anomaly
4. Or I could keep Anastasia as a senior researcher who did throw in the D-Class by force, but the anomaly itself had generated the delusions and hallucinations

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

themustacheguy 03 Oct 2026 07:54

Or, you could just scrap the O5 council trope all together. The base concept about the whole haunted house thing isn't bad in itself, but it's been overused to the point (SCP-083, SCP-2696) that your file feels like the same concept but wrapped in a cheap, thin, generic shell.

I recommend you try focusing more on the emotional horror narrative rather than just security clearances because by your narrative, it seems like you keep leaning into that perhaps?

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 03 Oct 2026 11:22

That is true. I could instead introduce Anastasia as a member of the GoI Parawatch who finds some Sarkic rituals and attempts to resurrect her daughter that way, but the ritual fails miserably

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

themustacheguy 03 Oct 2026 14:19

I will say this one final time, You need to refine this yourself. Because well, one thing. Your idea isn't bad in itself again. (The grieving mom and haunted house) But the way you handle critiques is not that great. Like one thing why did you suddenly move to Parawatch and the Sarkic Cults? Is there a viable reason why? I would suggest preparing beforehand because your execution (the O5 council trope, Sarkic Cults and Parawatch) is terrible.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 03 Oct 2026 15:24

Ok

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

Dr Blackbox 03 Oct 2026 19:37

The more I read this, the more it kind of just seems like a type green/reality bender story than really anything inherently related to the Foundation. D-Class are slaves, they can't really be "lured" anywhere the Foundation doesn't want them to go. Nor does it really seem like an O5 would be able to sell a house to a (functionally) random guy.

I would suggest making this another format (such as a tale), or changing the Foundation's involvement with the scenario.

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

SiteLibrarian 03 Oct 2026 20:28

I honestly do not have greenlighting permission but I can stil critique to the best my dyslexic brain will let me with the big chunks of text.

So what I'm getting here is that someone's daughter got murdered and then the mother decided to lure a Class-D in for no apparent reason (or is it revenge, idk?). The prose in itself is Ok, but could be refined with a definitive beginning and ending, with reasons that would make sense in Foundation lore, since an O5 wouldn't randomly sell a house to a D class.

I also need to follow my own advice so uhhh…yeah…I hope I didnt make lots of spelling mistakes that would be a real bummer

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 04 Oct 2026 01:55

Thank you

Re: [SEEKING CRITIQUE AND GREENLIGHTS] SCP-XXXX - "A House Of Dreams"

AnnaTransGirlie 04 Oct 2026 01:53

Ok thx