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So I've been playing around with this in my head and in chat; SCPs that could possibly never ever work. Concepts so bad or so unworkable that it would be seemingly impossible to achieve a positive mainlist article with them. I'd like to hear your ideas… or rather your TERRIBLE ideas. Be sure to at least make them plausible in some context. Also… PLEASE KEEP IT SFW!
The most unoriginal SCP.
A bush that clones stuff (Oh wait)
A box of chicken nuggets that make you smell like flowers
These are some ideas that will get far
What am I doing? Why am I doing it?
A funny Saturday Night Live skit.
~Crunchy
1. A funny Saturday Night Live skit.
2. A golden, rapid-fire, infinite ammo, 9,999,999 caliber, double-barrel rocket launcher.
3. Any SCP, but its effects and/or abilities are inverted.
4. "The Real Slim Shady"
6. Anything from Rick and Morty
7. Anything from Star Wars
8. Anything from Fallout
9. Anything from Dr. Who
10. An SCP document that consists solely of expunged data.
~Crunchy
Number 9: cough cough 173 cough
173 was around first.
Actually, 173 came a week after and was probably inspired by the weeping angels.
No it was a month before.
173 was first written on June 22nd. Blink (the first appearance of the weeping angels) came out on June 9th.
Therefore, Weeping Angels came before 173
3. Any SCP, but its effects and/or abilities are inverted.
Well, there's that little kid that makes parents hear the last words of their dead children, in their voice. You could have a parent/ parent looking person who talks to kids in the voices of their dead parents.
Though it took me forever to think of that, and my first thought was, "173 but it brings you back to life while you're staring at it and absorbs fecal matter out of its containment."
I know this is months old but this made me think of just 173, as a chiropractor.
Dr. R. J. Riften
"Im only here due to an incident involving a jar of peanut butter, a toothbrush, and a particle accelerator"
(I didn't do anything kind of funny or ridiculous, I just did an idea that would no way work in any canon other than broken masquerade, and even then, it'd be a stretch.
An SCP of a disappearing and reappearing book. The anomaly part of the SCP isn't that it disappears and reappears, but that for some reason or another, it's impossible to secure, and impossible to keep it hidden.
Make it a chair and you have SCP-396
A skip that causes you to percieve all words with a silent 'k'.
Kit kwould kbe kunreadable kand kunoriginal. Keveryone kwould khate kit.
That sounds really, really good, and pretty funny. I would upvote if I read that.
Sounds like a Joke SCP to me. Anyone else?
This could be a little list, like "The Things Dr. Bright is Not Allowed to Do at the Foundation." SOMEONE GET A WRITER UP IN HERE!
~Crunchy
This could be a little list, like "The Things Dr. Bright is Not Allowed to Do at the Foundation."
The author of that page actually disliked how it ended up enough to lock the page indefinitely. There was some pretty bad stuff in that.
Please to not be encouraging that stuff.
If the description on your human, average teenager SCP with superpowers is longer than two sentences, it's time to stop.
A furry self-insert played straight. Like, a normal schmuck who has a tail and fur and the rest.
Fairly sure that 2622 is not a self-insert, at least I believe it's not.
Further, the Ambassador isn't played straight. SCP-2085 is the closest thing to "furry self-insert played straight" on the site today, and they're fricking ninja combat nekogirls who use pseudonyms ripped off of anime. I wouldn't call that playing it straight, either.
I was mostly being cheeky, but when you get down to it, it's what such a thing would look like if done properly.
Also, the catgirls are definitely not furries. They're kemonomimi- different, though occasionally overlapping fandom. Trust me on this one: Furries are generally good commissioners so I know way more about the subculture than anyone but a hardcore furry probably should. X3
I tried to write a furry self-insert played straight. He was a normal dweebish dude who was also a furry and one day woke up as a dog-person. Turns out that being a dog-person sucks. Also turns out that the blatant parody was lost on the audience. I author-deleted at -19 after 11 hours of newbies telling me to read the guides.
Probably because, ironically enough, what you intended to be parody actually managed to land smack in the middle of a standard furry-TF plot- "furry becomes their 'sona and it sucks. Hilarity and/or Mary-Sue-Drama ensues". X3
Welp, teaches me to write about fringe communities I don't belong to.
Poe's law, yeah?
So, Howard the Duck if he was taken by the SCP Foundation?
Okay, this is a bit embarrassing for me, but does SCP-255-DE count …?
It is a living animal costume, though I am not a Furry.
Gruss
Rabe
SCP-049-J but without the furry
Hmm yes i am effective. No the cure. The cure is effective. The cure is me
This is actually kind of hard, because I keep thinking of ways to actually pull these off, or scips that are this sort of idea pulled off.
A few I would love to see someone prove me wrong about, or figure out how to do myself:
Superpants. Bonus points if the word "superpants" appears in the documentation outside of an interview.
Hmmm…
Congratulations on your purchase of the new SUPERPANTSTM from Dr. WondertainmentTM.
The article almost writes itself…
I wish I could +1 comments right now…
So how would the SUPERPANTSTM work? I'd imagine that while you wear the pants your muscles would start bulking up and you'd get stronger and it would be great… right up until your muscles burst through your skin.
Dr. R. J. Riften
"Im only here due to an incident involving a jar of peanut butter, a toothbrush, and a particle accelerator"
Dear consumer, do not confuse the Wondertainment brand SUPERPANTStm with the Factory's Leifield Pouched Bandoleer.
In all seriousness, "muscles bursting through skin" isn't a theme that meshes with Wondertainment, unless the product was extremely faulty or was being used in a manner inconsistent with the provided directions/instructions.
An anomalously cute critter that is totally harmless
Over the course of its life cycle, its body mass slowly transfers into its head and eyes and away from the rest of its body. This eventually causes existential failure as its lung capacity grows smaller and its ever-shrinking heart becomes incapable of circulating blood around its own brain, resulting in hypoxia. It cutes itself to death.
A friendly dinosaur.
best I can do is a fancy dinosaur
Now that i think about it… could a friendly 682 be considered a friendly dinosaur? Like maybe it becomes friendly and helpful If we stop trying to kill it in every way possible. Maybe it has plot armor, who knows?
Does SCP-2974 qualify for point two? I mean, I think it's adorable without being pity-cute, but I would also hug every lizard. It's certainly completely harmless.
Just saw this- I can't count SCP-2974 for #2 because it falls very solidly into pity-cute for me.
Poor little thing needs a hug. 8(
You forgot a spoon that makes an loud and very mlg airhorn sound when you touch it
What if the magic trombone has a ghost in it, or it's part of a larger collection of magical orchestral instrument SCPs. Where say this orchestra plays without any humans involved?
or, what if playing the magic trombone causes skeletons to come to life?
It's the last surviving instrument from an entire magical orchestra. It gets excited when another instrument is brought into confinement, but then sulks in the corner when it figures out it isn't alive.
It will play music with people or recordings, but usually has a breakdown mid song.
It has an irrational fear / anger for the triangle.
Bees that time traveled and ended up becoming the ancestors and descendants of all life on earth.
In essence, Bees go back in time to create all life on earth, and then when most life on earth dies in the far future, bees go back and repeat the cycle all over and over and over.1
It seems like a fun idea though, might bring it up in the writing advice forums later.
So… what if everything was bees?
Yeeeaaah, thats part of the reason it wouldnt work.
I think alot of people are sick of the "What if bees" thing as it is.
Maybe that's why the bees are disappearing now? Some have gone ahead back in time to get a head start on the other bees.
Which doesn't make any sense from a time travel perspective I guess…
Pizza…. but the pepperonis are EEEEYYYEEEBALLLSSS!
and thats it….
pastarasta1 is quick-talking and often scheming
An eel with tentacles for eyes. The article has to be about the eel itself, not about whatever gave the eel tentacles for eyes too.
A viral contagion that turns humans into Mr. Gumbys from Monty Python. The only way to reverse the infection is to remove the subject's brain. All the bits of it.
An article where the twist is that Bryan Silva is a Sarkic priest. (Karcist Ghr'at'at'aa?)
A SCP-682 termination experiment using Donald Trump, who is naked and covered in bacon grease.
A straight-to-video Brave Little Toaster sequel that's actually an indoctrination video for the CotBG.
A keter named Turbo Necrotizer Dracula Cunnilingus McNukesauce, aka "Cheeky Daniel," who needs to rub chainsaws in his chest hair while masturbating every two hours or he'll eat the universe.
And last but not least:
Object Class: CLODS
A straight-to-video Brave Little Toaster sequel that's actually an indoctrination video for the CotBG.
I would pay money to watch this.
Object Class: CLODS
Crossover. Now.
Object Class: INSUFFERABLE HALF-FORMED TRAITOR MEGACLODS
So far that's my favorite variation of 'clods'.
"Running out of ways to say clod!", is obviously a serious problem for the great and lovable Peridot.
A straight-to-video Brave Little Toaster sequel that's actually an indoctrination video for the CotBG.
This is supposed to be a thread for bad ideas.
A straight-to-video Brave Little Toaster sequel that's actually an indoctrination video for the CotBG.
There's no way in hell I could write this well, but if it hasn't been tried by September 1st, 2017, I'll try it.
A Rick Riordan-style son of MEKHANE, played completely straight.
Sounds more like a Yaldobaoth thing. And I could see either a child of Yaldobaoth and/or a piece of Mekhane in human form working if done well.
Sound familiar?
Of course, she has no idea of any of this and the absence of hordes of sarkic cultists attempting to rescue their messiah from Foundation custody indicates neither do they.
(account deleted)
