Porting over my thoughts from Discord.
For me, this perfectly encapsulates the horror of the transmasc experience, and how it feels to be forced into the role of “woman.” You’re supposed to be this beautiful, perfect thing. Everyone sees you as this beautiful, perfect thing. When you spend lots of time in progressive spaces that are constantly shitting on men (as valid as these complaints often are), especially if you’re not aware of your own transness, you internalize this idea that you’re a horrific thing, but you have no idea why. It’s subconscious, since you don’t realize that you’re a man, so you end up with this nebulous feeling that you are evil.
Coupled with the erasure of trans men in culture, it’s so easy to feel erased completely, to be reduced to confused scribbles on crumpled up paper. It’s more than feeling like you have to pretend to be something else. It’s pretending that you don’t exist.
I figured out I was trans in my late 20s, and it took me another 5 years to fully come to terms with my identity. I’m *still* struggling with aspects of it. It’s a scary, confusing experiences, especially if you’re doing it alone. I lost my trans therapist recently, so this is particularly hard-hitting for me.
Anyway, good job, 10/10 horror. I’mma go cry in the bathroom now lmao.
Edit: This is not meant to be an interpretation of the author’s intent; it’s simply my interpretation. I think there are many equally valid ways to read this.
