SCP-2370 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2370.

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

Taffeta 19 Jun 2016 09:22

SCP-2370: Undo It, Retry It

Thanks to: SoullessSingularity, kol aumer, Jekeled, Capt Miller, ghostpage Jack Ike and Apoplexic¹ for reviewing and spellchecking. Also, shoutouts to Jack Slate for making my bullshit science less bullshit.

And props to Scorpion451 for twisty tips.

Footnotes

1. whining intensifies

Last edited on 23 Aug 2016 05:36 by Taffeta Show more

MrWrong 19 Jun 2016 12:27

I don't know… I feel it is somewhat messy here. If the Foundation realises that the device is the real anomaly, why is the human user the main SCP? Did the Foundation consider any side-effects on removing the device?

While I am not fond of D-class demotion, it is doubly odder if the offender has a history of abusing SCP objects. Giving such a man D-class status is an oversight. He might better be executed or imprisoned indefinitely than given a chance to interact with the objects he once wanted to exploit.

Also, the D-class' motivations come off as overtly convenient. As in, he happens to be motivated by wanting to undo a friend's death and was used as a test subject for a program that can do just that…

TL333s 19 Jun 2016 23:26

I'm seeing the threads this goes through, and I like where it seems to go, but I'm not sure I can quite put everything together.

Taffeta 19 Jun 2016 23:55

+ SUPER SPOILERS

• D-12975 travels back in time.

• He becomes Sukarno[2].

• Realising that he can't be recognised if his plan is to work, he slashes his face up a bit in order to render him effectively unrecognisable by Foundation staff and his past self.

• He roams for quite some time, using his future selves to get items for him to survive.

• He studies the blueprints of the device and begins science-ing up shit.

• Seeing his past love not-dead, Myrna Callaghan, he realises he has a fixed amount of time for him to intervene. He remembers this because his "past" self was having coffee with her on his day off.

• He attacks the two in order to get her into an interrogation room where she can't be killed by the breach.

• As a result, he lands in containment.

• Sukarno[1] is arrested for his batshit plan.

• Fast-forward five years and he's dying of cesium poisoning.

• The device is removed.

• Sukarno[2] gets Class-E status and is permitted to work on Project Vonnegut following the confirmation of several of his theories.

• Sukarno[1] becomes D-12975 and sent to test Vonnegut.

• D-12795 goes back in time (see step 1).

• Sukarno[2] lives happily ever after. No, he doesn't, he presumably dies of cancer due to his years of radiation exposure.

Hihahaba 20 Jun 2016 02:40

Feel like this scip could use a rewrite to make the story a little clearer and just have the whole article be a little more concise.

Jacob Conwell 20 Jun 2016 03:56

So, as a reader I'm a bit torn on this one. On one hand, I like the effect, of the implants and the limitations this form of time travel has. Its neat, and I can see a lot of potential for its use in tales and the likes.

However, the storyline that is attached to this article is a little wonky. I'm not a huge fan of this being in a former Foundation employee. I feel like demotion to D-class for Foundation personnel is a relic that should be put out to pasture, and am not fond of its use here.

Neutral vote. I like the object's effect a lot, but the narrative here needs to be cleaned up.

Taffeta 20 Jun 2016 11:19

Just as a heads-up, I am working on re-jigging this thing and addressing the admittedly quite flawed storyline I tried to introduce. I'll post again when I have a draft for you all to look at.

+ Things to be addressed

Things to improve on:

• Foundation employee backstory.
• D-Class demotion.
• The convenience of how it all wrapped up.
• Prose and conciseness.

While not losing:

• Effect of the object
• Communication of general time-fuckiness

Last edited on 20 Jun 2016 11:23 by Taffeta Show more

Scorpion451 20 Jun 2016 13:41

Another Thing not to lose:

• Foundation employee backstory.

For me, a big part of the coolness here is that bit about pre-SCP-2370 realizing that he's SCP-2370, and that it's the only way to stop what happens. I'd really suggest playing up this part more ala the The End Changes Everything trope. Rather than one simple event, you could have him go farther back and have a whole record of bizarre things that he does, that in the end all turn out to be part of preventing the breach from ever happening.

Things like:

• Using a high level clearance keycard, 2370 breaches containment and steals a low level access keycard belonging to Security Officer ████ ████████. 2370 returns to containment, and leaves both cards on ground outside its cell door. In response, the existing request for new keycards with more secure tethers was given a priority approval, and rushed into service.
• 2370 breaches containment by exploiting a previously undetected structural weakness in the mounting brackets for the grating over standard containment chamber ventilation ducts. SCP-2370 vandalizes the floor polisher located in the sector F maintenance room. SCP-2370 then waits calmly outside its containment chamber door until security arrives.
• 2370 breaches containment by exploiting a previously undetected structural weakness in the casing for the electronic locks on standard containment chamber doors. SCP-2370 vandalizes four of the five remaining floor polishers located in Site ███. SCP-2370 is recaptured by security while attempting to access the maintenance room for the research wing.

Excerpts from multiple iterations of a Cause-Of-Breach Analysis report obtained from 2400, regarding a breach on the date of ██/██/████. Said breach did not occur.

• Security Officer ████ ████████'s return to their post in the CCTV monitoring station following a five minute break was delayed by two minutes due to their keycard becoming dislodged at some point between the breakroom and the monitoring station. As a result, several subsequent exacerbating events went unreported while sole the remaining guard focused on the primary breach in progress.
• SCP-████ evaded a near capture when a freshly polished floor in hall 2F caused containment team to experience repeated traction failures.
• Mounting brackets for the grating over standard containment chamber ventilation ducts have previously undetected structural vulnerability

Found in secondary iteration:

• SCP-████ evaded a near capture when a freshly polished floor in hall 2F caused containment team to experience repeated traction failures.
• electronic locks on standard containment chamber doors have previously undetected structural vulnerability

Found in Tertiary iteration:
…and so on. He's got all the time in the world to get it right, after all.

Last edited on 20 Jun 2016 14:55 by Scorpion451 Show more

Taffeta 21 Jun 2016 09:20

Your opinion has been duly noted.

(This is the link to the new draft thread, btw)

Last edited on 21 Jun 2016 10:28 by Taffeta Show more

Taffeta 22 Jun 2016 01:54

Updated, with help from Scorpion451.

Shaggydredlocks 22 May 2017 04:02

Damn fine job on the rewrite; I should have came back to this a while ago. Anyways, +1.

ViktorIcarus 03 Mar 2019 15:02

I stumbled on this using Random SCP, and I found it quite interesting. I felt that the story was a little bit hard to put together, but once I knew what was going on, on a reread I could understand what was happening.

Maxyfran73 29 May 2022 03:37

I think this is a really neat concept, but the delivery fails as a big part of the story created here requires one to 'care' about the main characters to figure out the reason why the causal loop occurs and, without that feel, the piece feels rather stale. I don't think it's a bad piece, but it's too dry, to the point where it injures the plot you've concocted.

That being said, the anomaly itself still is really interesting… Think it's a novote, overall.