SCP-2971 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2971.

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Decibelles 14 Jun 2016 05:09

This was some really creepy and odd stuff that is right up my alley. The photo seems a bit low-res, but I don't mind. You could excuse it as a video recording I guess. This was really interesting regardless.

And then… I get it, this would be up Oneiroi's alley, but the fact that this kind of thing appeared out of nowhere, with only a man in a suit looking worried about the concert, that gets my gears rolling. Oneiroi sticking their weird dream parasitic fingers in it seems odd when they sound like any other random group or person on this site. Oneiroi's involvement is tenuous at best, and feels a bit weird. Even if Oneiroi did cause this contrary to the letter, I think SCP-2272 did this concept better.

Kalinin 14 Jun 2016 06:15

I really, really want to like this. The little reminders to the reader coupled with the subject material do a nice job conveying something that is outwardly prosaic and kind of strange, with undercurrents that something is very, very wrong. Great mood throughout.

Then the mystery and everything else gets sapped when we get a sort of half-hearted GoI explanation tacked on it. I can't downvote something that I enjoyed as much as I did about 80% throughout, but I can't upvote with that sour note at the end, either.

Agent MacLeod 14 Jun 2016 06:48

These are my thoughts exactly. When I saw that bright red text, I immediately thought "THE 51ST STATE IS NOT A PLACE," "You do not recognize the bodies in the water."

Instead, it's mundane by those sorts of standards. This started out creepy but petered out and ended up relying on a note at the end. I feel like notes at the end should leave the reader wanting to know more, not wrap the skip up in a pretty bow as if to say, "And that's how I got to Memphis."

Rioghail 14 Jun 2016 07:42

I have similar opinions to Kalinin. The ending gets rid of all the mystery and doesn't really replace it with a strong payoff. I really wish I could jam to this, but it's not happening.

psul 14 Jun 2016 19:18

I'm another in this same boat. My thoughts throughout the early going went straight to 2316, and while on one level a repeat of that effect is a bit unnecessary, I actually thought this outdid the unrecognisable bodies in the water in some respects, by underplaying things to allow the tension to build.

But I was worried about the direction of the skip by the time I read about the man in the suit, and the final note was far too much like 2207, and undermined what was very good work up until then. It reinforced that this was a rehash of existing tropes, and deflated the tension entirely.

All that said, there is some really good writing in this, and I look forward eagerly to your next submissions.

sirpudding 14 Jun 2016 06:23

The phrase itself is not memetic,

Yes it is (or would be if the memetic model is valid); "think about it" is coherent information. I think you mean it isn't anomalous.

ETA: Looks like this has been fixed.

Last edited on 14 Jun 2016 15:17 by sirpudding Show more

I've taken the new feedback into consideration, and I'll rework the ending a bit.

Multiscoop 14 Jun 2016 09:02

The concept of the D.P.C. is something I still feel belongs in this article: however, people have made it clear that they don't like Oneiroi being in this. I''m going to remove them and shorten the end note a bit so it's not so explainy.

Thanks for the comments, and I hope you re-evaluate your votes after you read the changes.

Re: I've taken the new feedback into consideration, and I'll rework the ending a bit.

Jerden 14 Jun 2016 13:26

I actually preferred the longer ending, where it was implied that there was some sort of rogue being causing it all. I feel like the shorter ending is less mysterious now.

Re: I've taken the new feedback into consideration, and I'll rework the ending a bit.

Decibelles 14 Jun 2016 18:58

It's a good attempt at fixing it, but I think at the heart of it, I just liked the strangeness and the mystery, and that being attached to some other plot narrative lessens it for me. This seems to be working out for you so you do what you will, but I still can't get behind it by the end.

EDIT: Also, was there a reason for removing the red repeated counter-messages? I really thought those added something to the article.

Last edited on 14 Jun 2016 18:59 by Decibelles Show more

Voct 14 Jun 2016 13:48

so basically the Foundation was issued an extradimensional DMCA C&D which blanked their documentation for copyright reasons?

Shaggydredlocks 14 Jun 2016 15:00

Personally, I would've liked some of the memetic screwery to work its way into the documentation after the interview log. I was expecting the second and third addenda to play with the concept a bit more.

TyGently 14 Jun 2016 15:10

Seconding, yeah, I really want to like this but it just feels disappointing. The twist reminds me of 2207, but 2207's twist works on a level that this article does not reach.

It's difficult to diagnose why exactly one works while the other flops, it might be a result of the narrative familiarity: 2207's narrative is more basic but packs in enough detail to keep you along until the twist, whereas this article is more bizarre and then becomes a letdown when the twist isn't nearly as bizarre as you've expected.

Voct 14 Jun 2016 15:33

Hm. Major difference between this and 2207 is that 2207 is "we accept that you didn't know the consequences, so this is a friendly polite C&D notice, with a warning that if you don't C&D, we'll fucking obliterate you", whereas this is just an interdimensional copyright violation.

TyGently 15 Jun 2016 05:02

I meant more on the level of, "end note implies that the universe has some kind of oddly bureaucratic system that controls realities and timelines".

Jacob Conwell 14 Jun 2016 19:35

You know what. I dig it, partially. As a memetic anomaly I found this piece to be pretty solid example of an idea spreading itself into existence. I'm the biggest fan of the ending and the whole C&D note at the end, but the rest of the article kept me entertained enough to upvote.

+1. Think about it.

Voct 14 Jun 2016 19:44

What if the DMCA takedown resulted in the anomaly being neutralized?

"The memorystream in question was copied into your timeversuality in direct violation of the Untranslatably Redacted Act of 2944; all recordings and descriptions of the memorystream have been destrobliterated. If you believe this destrobliteration to have been done in error, please contact…"

Jacob Conwell 14 Jun 2016 19:52

That would be a pretty solid conclusion to this article, in my opinion.

Scorpion451 14 Jun 2016 20:00

Retrobliterated

TL333s 14 Jun 2016 22:51

I think you should drop the pre-article note. It made me think of the bodies in the water which I do not recognize, and that article did that gimmick better. Plus, it's not really the focus here: that's the final two addenda, and I think they make this work, on top of this being both a good meme and a good "real person" article.

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