SCP-2335 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-2335.

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Kalinin 27 May 2016 19:17

Neutral voting. The front part of this is great. As a piece of unexplained, anomalous media, it gives off a wonderfully unsettling vibe. In terms of establishing mood, this did a very good job. It hits a very nice sweet spot in the uncanny, vaguely threatening realm of experience.

However, when I saw that there was an interview log, I was apprehensive, and the fact that there's an explanation (even if it's incomplete one) really detracts from this for me. Especially when that explanation undermines suspension of disbelief by then raising questions that would seem to highlight some of the larger points of illogic here.

It's a good effort, but to me it doesn't stick the landing.

Dracola 27 May 2016 20:04

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate the comments. I created the interview log hoping that the connection to another, intelligent race with an equally puzzling lack of information about the SCP's origins would heighten the mystery, but I can totally see why that wouldn't be the case.

Is it considered a faux pas to edit the story after it's been posted? If others agreed I could definitely see changing the ending to something more thematically sound.

Kalinin 27 May 2016 20:09

Is it considered a faux pas to edit the story after it's been posted?

Nah, authors can edit their own works as they see fit.

I would definitely wait to see what other kinds of feedback you get, since this seems to be meeting a positive reception.

Just speaking personally, though, the introduction of both the two-way communication and the alien civilization elements were a little jarring. I kind of feel like there wasn't a whole lot of setup for those things leading up to them, which made it feel like it was coming out of nowhere for me. I would almost prefer no explanation at all to preserve the mystery of the phenomenon, but again, that's just me.

Decibelles 27 May 2016 20:11

While I'm not fond of the interview for the reasons above, I think this skip is otherwise a very strong and suitably creepy one. Not sure if the interview could be repurposed/rewritten to keep the feel of the first half of the article better, though. I'd suggest waiting a little bit more on further feedback, since this is doing well.

I'd also recommend, if you do keep the interview, to implement quote boxes and separate each person speaking. Right now, it looks like one giant block of text, and that instantly makes me drop my attention almost right away.

EDIT: Also, self-upvotes are against the site rules. You can remove it by clicking the "X" on the voting module.

Last edited on 27 May 2016 20:52 by Decibelles Show more

Dracola 27 May 2016 20:44

Oh, sorry! Just removed it.

sirpudding 27 May 2016 20:13

Well, I like it as is. The aliens not having any more clue either, and the reveal they've been watching it for a long time are definitely worth the clunkiness of the device that gets us there in this case.

ETA: The interview needs quote boxes though.

Last edited on 27 May 2016 20:52 by sirpudding Show more

Shaggydredlocks 27 May 2016 20:57

I'll admit, when I saw the footnote, I had high-creep expectations ala SCP-1981. I was mildly disappointed at the lack of scare in that regard, but that was due to my expectations. This is pretty damn good regardless, though.
+1

itsnote 27 May 2016 21:44

There's footage of everything there?

everything?

TL333s 27 May 2016 23:01

The ending interview got my upvote. This is a decent anomalous media piece, but without any seeming purpose, leaves less of an impact than similar articles. But knowing that someone else has this footage, and doesn't understand it any more than we do, makes this into something wholly unique, without actually explaining anything. Clever.

Genshed 27 May 2016 23:36

Two things that I liked about the interview log: the entity knew very little more than the Foundation, and the use of "there has been". The former avoided the info-dump trope, the latter indicated that the entity's language has certain features that don't parallel English. It did go on a bit before CameraThing pulled the plug, but not enough to spoil the fun.

The sheer variety of the scenes described was very appealing. The depiction of scenes of concern to Foundation personnel was well done.

Small error in the interview.

Multiscoop 28 May 2016 03:55

Just to let you know OP, you labelled the entity being interviewed as SCP-2335-2, but in the last two lines of the interview, it's labelled SCP-2335-1.

Thought I'd mention it just in case. Good skip btw!

Re: Small error in the interview.

Dracola 28 May 2016 05:05

Thanks! That was an artifact from a previous draft that I could have sworn I'd fixed. Good eye.

Hawkforce1 28 May 2016 23:16

Is the 9th clip supposed to say that the clip ends at 14:24:36 or 14:25:36?
If it's the former, then we have a serious case of temporal destabilization.

---

HF1

Dracola 29 May 2016 03:01

Whoops, I didn't catch that, it's fixed now. Thanks!

drew1drew1 28 May 2016 23:19

I really liked this one! It gave me chills a few times and the interview at the end was really interesting and created more questions in my mind. Great work!

Upvoted!

Last edited on 28 May 2016 23:22 by drew1drew1 Show more

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