I rather dislike this, but for no particular reason. Lot of little things that just didn't sit right I suppose.
SCP-640 / Discussion
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This, but the exact opposite. I upvoted.
if your reading this your gay
This article is being placed up for review. Please check it out, we think it needs more attention. I mean, two comments in the discussion page. Ouch.
This one definitely has a lot of little details that are bad. A lot of the text is to be written in a very passive tone, which I found to be more than slightly annoying. The "worse than Irukandji syndrome" and "Aspergillus, Cordyceps or Rhizopus fungal infection" weren't explained in the article and I had to stop reading to go look it up, which pretty much annihilated any sense of flow I had up until that point. The whole thing about it being able to not wake people up didn't seem very well tied into the rest of the effect, but I think it could be tied in better if it was mentioned earlier and not given its own paragraph. The last two bits in the main description feel very crowbared in and could probably be moved to addenda, or scrapped altogether. The recovery log really sucks and is unnecessarily, which is a shame because this could easily have a really cool recovery log. Actually, pretty much everything below the line is kind of dumb and ought to be removed or altered, it really detracted from my enjoyment of the article.
Overall, I feel kind of conflicted on this one. On one hand, it has a really cool effect and invokes some awesome imagery for me, but on the other hand it trips up a lot in the fine details, to the point where it becomes a chore to see the imagery I liked behind the clutter. I am downvoting for now, but with a small bit of spit-polish this could be something special.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
Agreeing with everything Roget has said. This would benefit from more attention and, if it drops low enough, a rewrite.
if your reading this your gay
I agree with Roget as well, and I would also like to note that I don't feel that this should be given Keter classification. It can be contained fairly easily and doesn't present the danger of widespread death or destruction.
Change this from a Keter to a Euclid and I'd upvote. That's probably the main thing about this article that I can't take seriously.
I had made it Keter on the grounds that the known containment methods were possibly unreliable (because it was able to defeat protective gear), however, on further consideration, I changed it back to Euclid. It admittedly doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense as a Keter.
I can't take any of this seriously and I don't know why. Maybe just too little detail.
Two things:
The confinement chamber must be equipped with a light-tight airlock fitting equipped with an electronic interlock to prevent both doors from being simultaneously opened. Though SCP-640 is not known to be able to assume a gaseous form, these doors should be airtight and, if possible, watertight to facilitate emergency containment measures.
Should that be "a light-tight airlock (fitted/equipped) with" or "a light-tight airlock fitting, with"?
Second thing: "humans or apes, especially children" just reads weird. Some ideas:
- "Primates, particularly human children"
- "Humans, especially children, and apes"
- "Humans or apes, especially the young"
As it is, it sounds like the scip likes feeding on children apes, and we don't call the young of other primates children, so it reads oddly.
Though SCP-640 is not known to be able to assume a gaseous form, these doors should be airtight and, if possible, watertight to facilitate emergency containment measures.
I know this is old as hell and there are other, bigger problems with this piece but I feel like I have to point out that airtight IS watertight.
All personnel shall receive a dose of amphetamine, modafinil, or caffeine prior to exposure; resistance, intolerance, or allergy to these drugs is an absolute contraindication to assignment to the SCP-640 study team.
I feel like "contraindication" is used incorrectly here, but I'm not 100% certain. It's defined as "a specific situation in which a drug, procedure, or surgery should not be used because it may be harmful to the person". I guess it kind of makes sense in context, but I feel like there's a better-fitting word that could be used instead.
/forum/t-171289/scp-640#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
