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Me when I stew the idea for 3 months and then bang it all out into an article days before my deadline. This was totally an intentional allusion to the theme of human hubris.
god is a spider and heaven her web
Special thanks to AriadnesThread,
Naepic,
JackalRelated and
Uncle Nicolini for giving me their eyes, and god in heaven who made bloody well sure that the Babylonians never made it up there.
Do you blame him? They'd just try to sell him shitty copper or something.
(Yes, I know the Babylonians aren't the Sumerians, leave me alone.)
Wonderful work, Afto!
This is a very strong direction for this concept to have taken. I'm glad I gave up the rewrite, because I quite like what you've done with it. +1
Overall, a HUGE improvement of the OG! Only thing I wish was here was a footnote explaining SCP-3966, so that you don’t have to read an entirely seperate SCP to get the ending of this one.
+1’d.
So I read SCP-3966 after finishing this one, and I thought I had a handle on what was going on but now am confused.
Can you explain exactly how they're related?
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out, that he'd melt my brain." -George McFly
The Pilgrims are likely being preyed upon by 3966, which they think is Heaven.
Quite simple to grasp, and very unfortunate besides.
Ah ok, it's clicked now. Thank you.
Also, ooof.
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from Planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out, that he'd melt my brain." -George McFly
Killer, honestly.
I think a lot of weaker SCPs have what I'm nebulously thinking of as "the anomaly stares directly into the camera and explains to the reader exactly what's going on syndrome". Which this article looks like it's doing, albeit doing so with pretty good dialogue. And then you hit the end, and blammo! Twist! I liked having my expectations played with.
I have a grammar note. The first line of the description reads like this:
SCP-264 is the preserved cadaver of a hominin woman, dated to around 12,000 years old and hovers a few centimetres above the ground in a cross-legged position.
This is a run-on sentence; if it were me writing I'd split this into two sentences after "12,000 years old."
Again, an enjoyable read.
-1. Mmm, I don´t like it. I think there are a lot of ideas here, some conflicting with each other.
The writing is good, I like the mix of serious Tanaka with the oblivious Dr. Carnarvon, the metaphysical discussion is good, and also the concept of extradimensional beings that have been here for millennia but not really affecting how we live our lives. Also the idea of the twist at the end is fine
Now, my big issue with the article is that it is too convenient. The place is impossible to discover, but pilgrims through the ages have discovered it now and then. These interdimensional pilgrims travel to many dimensions but never reach a 4th dimension or higher, which is needed for the twist to work, just as the pilgrim's physiology works exactly like human physiology, so the Foundation can find that they are affected by 3966. I mean, it’s not bad, but more than many multidimensional beings of millions of words, they sound like humans from a different place.
I think to work, you should forget about the millions of civilizations and dimensions, so the twist can work. Or the idea of the twist and focus in the feeling of Earth only being a step for many dimensions out there.
Also, some nitpicking: The first log seems more like a small story than a log. A Log would be objective, omitting all the superfluous parts. Tanaka is not introduced, is he Dr. Carnarvon loyal sidekick? Another Dr? An assistant? An agent in charge of protecting the place? Also, the myth is called “Tower of Babel” which was built in Babylonia, so if they are taking the language from our minds, they would use the most colloquial name.
Sorry if I sound a bit rude, I really enjoy most of the story, like Tanaka and Carnarvon's personalities and the setup, but I have some difficulties following the core idea.
The place is impossible to discover, but pilgrims through the ages have discovered it now and then.
Tunneling to other dimensions is also usually impossible, but 264 has been doing it for 12,000 years in this particular dimension and thus should be kept in mind. Given that this is an SCP article it should be understood that the exact science of what's possible isn't always going to be compatible with what one might be familiar with.
One may assume 264 has some technology or magic that connects them with the faithful within this dimension. To elaborate on what it is specifically is pointless because it isn't the focus of the article.
These interdimensional pilgrims travel to many dimensions but never reach a 4th dimension or higher, which is needed for the twist to work
It's almost as if they've been unknowingly going the wrong way this entire time…
I mean, it’s not bad, but more than many multidimensional beings of millions of words, they sound like humans from a different place.
As you may know the word "dimension" here is being used as a less clunky stand-in for "parallel universe" or "alternate timeline" and not in reference to a spatial or temporal dimension. This is something many writers and authors utilize as a synonym pretty often.
Tanaka is not introduced, is he Dr. Carnarvon loyal sidekick?
Neither was Carnarvon. Why so quick to assume the latter is the protagonist in need of a sidekick? The characters are presented as individuals and putting them in the dynamic of Tanaka existing only as a support and sideline to Carnarvon takes away much of their existence as a lone person that can exist outside of someone else in the story.
Another Dr? An assistant? An agent in charge of protecting the place?
The only thing we know is that his title is Dr. Tanaka. I guess this will remain a mystery…
Also, the myth is called “Tower of Babel” which was built in Babylonia, so if they are taking the language from our minds, they would use the most colloquial name.
Maybe the specific names we use in our dimension ought to be colloquial across all others. Or perhaps the languages of other worlds differ ever so slightly from ours. Just a thought.
First of all, thank you for taking the time to answer and giving me some insight into the story.
Now that I understand what you mean by multidimensional, I can understand a lot better the intentions and personality of the pilgrims, and also their intentions and how the foundation can understand the medical charts, because in my experience multi multidimensional beings happen to be more alien and different, and to use a different universe, you use parallel worlds. Thinking of these pilgrims as members of a parallel universe makes more sense and makes sacrificing SCP-264 crueler. Thanks for the explanation, I removed the -1.
And also, nitpick was only nitpick, there was no need to answer it, but now that you do it let me explain so you understand my thought process, Dr. Carnavaron is introduced first, and the title (Dr) in the context of the foundation’s stories lets you understand his role quickly (he is a Senior research staff member), and Tanaka is then introduced later and no title at all in a official log. The sidekick was a joke in the same vein as Sherlock and Watson or Batman and robin, because the order and lack of title, don’t take it seriously.
In the same vein, calling it Tower of Babylonia does not take from the story, but I think if the multi-dimensional beings read our language from our mind, they would use the most common term we use for the concept, not theirs, but again is only nitpicking.
Thanks again for your reply, and I love the mysterious Dr. Tanaka.
(account deleted)