[SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

Summary:

They posses the ability to control the mind of any person / animal / or anomaly

[SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

AnneTheWriter 21 Sep 2023 17:08

The file describes a human teenager of unidentifiable sex. They posses the ability to control the mind of any person / animal / or anomaly if capable of any form of verbal communication.

I trimmed your thread summary, since it was taking up extra space in the main forum screen. Try to keep thread descriptions and titles short so you don't crowd out other authors in the forum listing. ~DrRevan

Seeking Greenlight: Yes

Article Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: The file describes a human teenager of unidentifiable gender. They possess the ability to take control of the mind of any person / animal / or anomaly if it is capable of some sort of language. This effect only occurs when certain conditions are met and control can be broken without way too much effort.

Plot: The file goes into how the teenager was discovered and how they don't have a desire to control people, it just happens. I'm considering having them be apart of some termination tests, but that is not set in stone. Researchers look into their background and discover the teenager's connection to other organizations.

Last edited on 29 Sep 2023 07:27 by Zyn Show more

Re: [SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

Dr Vikki Lost 21 Sep 2023 18:13

I enjoy this idea, but I do have some questions/critiques

+ That is...

1. When you say "unidentifiable gender", what does this mean? Are you saying they have no primary/secondary sex characteristics? Are you saying they're genderqueer (in that case, they probably would have a gender under the LGBT+ umbrella, which is identifiable)? What does that mean?
2. mind control can be a VERY tricky subject, as it can make… well, to put it lightly, it can make your SCP into an overpowered deviantart OC (apologies). so my question is - how are you going to avoid making this a cheesy anime protagonist scenario? what caveat does their ability have? (do they pass out or get sick when they use their power? do they lose control over their own body?)

my advice is - if you want to do something like this, try to make it a more subtle ability. my idea would be: they subconciously pass their own desires/impulses onto others. for example, if they want ice cream, someone near them will get the sudden urge to buy them ice cream. that person can still resist, and retains their will, but their thoughts are not all uninfluenced. this could allow people to develop resistance to them, and keep them from being given basically god-like powers.

3. when you say "other organisations", do you mean groups of interest? if so, what groups in particular are you referring to? big question on this part.

4. what age exactly are you going for? "teenager" is very vague - 13-19 is the teenager range. 13 year olds can buy things with their moms permission, 19 year olds can live on their own. give a specific age. it really helps set the stage for it.

5. i have a trick for defining characters, and i want you to use it here. tell me these things in your comment reply. i want to see how far you've thought about this character:
- name three songs they've recently listened to
- if they could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would they choose?
- if they had a drawer of items that represented them, what would be inside it?
- what would they think of YOU as a person?

overall, i like it. have fun writing :)

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Dr Vikki Lost
05-clearance

Re: [SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

AnneTheWriter 22 Sep 2023 00:42

I am going to respond to these with the numbers by the way, just to make it clear what I am answering!

1. What I meant is that they have no characteristics that could identify their sex. I am considering making it where they pick a gender to identify as since they don't have an assigned one.

2. My idea to making the brainwashing way less OP is to make it really easy to avoid and super taxing on the SCP! For example, for the brainwashing to take hold, the victim has to verbally respond to them. This can be negated by wearing even a simple disposable face mask and if the victim can't hear the SCP, they can't be brainwashed. Brainwashing causes the SCP to have extreme migraines that can last for days, nausea, fatigue, nosebleeds, etc.. If it still seems kinda OP, your idea is super cool and would definitely be fun to write with!

+ show block

3. I'm still new to some of this, so I am willing to take recommendations for interest groups. I want to make it a decent chunk of their backstory. I am thinking that one of these special interest groups that gave them their power through experimentation of some sort. If you are good with the brainwashing with those drawbacks, I might make it where they started with the ability to pass basic desires / impulses and the special interest group amplified it.

4. They will be about 17-18 years old.

5. The last three songs they listened to are:
-I'm Born To Run by American Authors
-Could Have Been Me by The Struts
-Hey Look Ma, I Made It by Panic! At The Disco

If they could have dinner with anyone they would pick their mother.

If they had a drawer of items that represented them they would have:
-A pen: They enjoy writing stories and drawing things they remember from their childhood
-A blanket: They like warmth and comfort
-Dice: They get bored easily and risk every once in a while excites them
-Horseshoe: They believe that good luck comes to those who have earned it.

I enjoy writing and comfort like they do, but I take few risks and they would probably see me as boring.

Let me know what you think!

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 29 Sep 2023 07:28 by Zyn Show more

Re: [SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

Dr Vikki Lost 22 Sep 2023 09:54

This is really helpful in my opinion!

The one thing I would say is that the idea of seeking comfort and warmth and being a risk-taker are conflicting ideas in my opinion. What's gonna be the thing that makes those two work? For example: Let's say they're naturally impulsive, and grew up fighting to survive. Comfort and warmth is their idealised goal, but not what they truly want. They want and need action and risk, but due to the hardships they've faced, they tend to romanticise the idea of having a "normal life" as well.

If you're looking for GOIs, I'd suggest The Chaos Insurgency. They're known for experimenting on SCPs, and weaponising them, and to sweeten the pot they're notoriously under-developed lore-wise.

Have fun, and I hope you get some more feedback! (I'd also like to say you have great music taste)

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Dr Vikki Lost
05-clearance

Re: [SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

AnneTheWriter 22 Sep 2023 10:24

Thank you!

I love your feedback!

Re: [SEEKING GREENLIGHT] Brainwasher

Dr Vikki Lost 22 Sep 2023 10:57

Of course! I'm happy to give it.

One of the biggest things in writing is realising that most of what you write won't actually be written. Always know three or four things about your story that aren't ever told. Having those extra details and understandings of characters and plot help you convey the emotions, even if not the information.

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Dr Vikki Lost
05-clearance