SCP-7357 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-7357.

Recipe

IndustryStandard 21 Aug 2023 04:02

How to Make SCP-7357

---

Ingredients:

• Water
• Flour
• Sugar
• Milk
• SCP-357
• Spite (Optional?)

Instructions:

1. Abstract your SCP-357 into its base properties, discarding any excess fat or technobabble padding.
2. Add what remains to 1 cup of water, 1 cup of flour, and 1/4 cup of sugar. Remix well with a wooden spoon, then let it ideate for a day in a lightly covered container.
3. Ponder if this concept is too far removed from the original, then disregard any dissenting notions that arise.
4. After a day, add 1 cup of milk, 1 cup of flour, and 1/2 cup of sugar to a half portion of your initial remix. Mix well, then set aside.
5. Check on your starter every other day to make sure it is still bubbling and active. If it has risen too much, simply stir it down.
6. By the end of 5 days, you have SCP-7357, fit to be split, shared, and used in any recipes you'd like! (But don't forget to keep feeding it!)

---

Thanks to my critters: ThatGuyThatTime for noting a forgettable element, AstersQuill for noting a silly one, and FlyPurgatorio ffor a hnadful off SPaG fixes.

Plus, a big thanks to FLOORBOARDS for humoring my need for perfect numbers :3

Last edited on 21 Aug 2023 04:03 by IndustryStandard Show more

+1

ThatGuyThatTime 21 Aug 2023 04:07

You’ve got such a great style of writing here (like always) — where your poetry skills shine through in technical ways to provide a fascinating story.

Big fan of the images here.

Grigori Karpin 21 Aug 2023 15:47

Downvoting for cannibalism

Kidding, but seriously, fuck. Can't a food anomaly not end in someone getting made into food?

(in terms of this article, this has some great characterization and dialogue +1)

Merehrab 21 Aug 2023 15:47

This Herman fellow seems like a chill dude, I’d probably hang out with him, sounds like a lot of fun!

Seriously though, the fact that you made a goddamn cake batter give me the chills in the most absurd possible way is just astounding. You literally turn this entire Foundation site into a cult worshipping this thing, which is so weird, I really enjoyed this story. Your writing style absolutely shines here. Good stuff, love my man Herman!

LORDXVNV 22 Aug 2023 04:23

This is fun.

I wanted to be more effusive, I'm sorry. This does a lot of things well. Good pacing, a good hook, intercuts between quippy and dynamic researchers that I suspect will be a hallmark of the S8 Era and ominous clinical interludes. It all comes together to a fun story of being tired of mundane bullshit turning to horror.

I also think — and you may disagree — that this work plays things very safe. The building blocks are all in place but as I was rereading I found myself wishing that you'd injected more color and character into the quippy researchers. I liked the detail about how Tabernaq had nurtured a sourdough starter but beyond that I felt the characters, while dynamically playing off of each other, lacked a sense of identity beyond their roles in the story. The stakes were business, not personal. We get some vibe of Mastus as the party person Director guy and Abbi as the no nonsense researcher but I'd say that gives way to their defined roles right in the climactic realization of "this cake is infectious". I think this weakens the shocking turn of Mastus as full mouth piece of Herman in the final log — we don't get much of a sense of who Mastus is beyond "guy who likes Herman a bunch" before that, so it's a change of degree, not quality.

Other than that though, this is fun and put together well. The pieces are there — I just think you're missing a few details that could make it much more tragic and horrifying.

Overall I think this is competent work but

IndustryStandard 05 Sep 2023 00:05

Didn't respond when I saw this because it hit me a certain way.

First, I do need to work on turning my characters into people. Technical execution can only get me so far if I don't make anyone care about the stuff I write.

Past the lacking depth, I agree with everything you're saying: I really need to position myself better, especially for contests. This was way too safe.

Thank you for the feedback, will definitely swing wider next time.

LORDXVNV 12 Sep 2023 03:09

Hope I didn't discourage you too much. I think these are all fully surmountable developmental steps and I look forward to your future work!

IndustryStandard 12 Sep 2023 05:41

No worries! I look forward to making future works, and the clarity on what I'm missing is well appreciated.

Maxyfran73 23 Aug 2023 04:05

I agree with Lord; overall the piece had good steps all the way throughout, and the ending is pretty solid, but I feel like more could have been done to convey the horror, or the distrust. The two characters here are pretty bland, and I feel like you show your hand a tad too fast here. Overall though, I enjoyed the article. It just coulda been pieced together a tad better.

+1

Ethagon 26 Aug 2023 10:44

All new SCP-7357-A instances are to be incinerated.

This sentence belongs in the ConProcs. Itherwise great article. +1