SCP-7325 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-7325.

Author Post

Fernlom 29 Jul 2023 18:37

First and foremost, I am DETERMINED to get this slot, this is like my fifth attempt to write an SCP and I'm lucky that 7325 has stayed open long enough for me to keep trying. Now, that out of the way, this work is another catharthic piece for me. I've titled it "Testament to my Failures" and it really represents how I feel as a writer, trying time and time again to make something that makes a difference. It represents how I feel here in the SCP community, trying again and again, failing over and over to create a work that can last and survive here. I hope it's enjoyed. Feel free to ask me anything if you've got questions. Thanks to Fantem, Metaphysician, Tboneberryhill, Jr NG, and Alva Norstrom for their crit on this work!

EDIT: Also, the picture included is one I took myself. Uh, if the site crediting team needs any CC info on it or something please let me know.

Last edited on 29 Jul 2023 19:35 by Fernlom Show more

theUnfunnyOne 29 Jul 2023 19:56

Unsure if I’m allowed to fix the title, but I did it anyway because I’m sure it counts as a spelling error.

Anyways, haven’t read the article yet but it looks promising

Edit: +1.

Last edited on 29 Jul 2023 19:57 by theUnfunnyOne Show more

Fernlom 29 Jul 2023 19:57

Oh, thank you!

Davli 31 Jul 2023 08:45

Where does the data corruption mentioned at the beginning play into the article?

Fernlom 31 Jul 2023 17:50

Hidden text in the -A instaces

Karen Rebovich 03 Aug 2023 14:52

SCP-7325-A4, where they talk about a character that white-out's things instead of blacking them out like in most scp documents (The data corruption is a specific color). And that the character is in charge of helping the speaker find the right path. Which is what lead me to go down the rabbit hole.

Karen Rebovich 03 Aug 2023 14:46

I asked questions the other day because it seemed like there was a mystery to solve and I wanted to know if I was going the right direction. It gets better when you know who is in the last room. But now I have more questions, because you can tell there is a narrative about how the failures came to be, that there was a bad guy (Cole the bastard). I also liked the concept of what makes a failure a failure, or a certain type of failure (computer failure, reality failure).

OriTiefling 06 Aug 2023 05:36

This falls into a major issue of telling too much and showing too little. I get the idea that there's an almost Department of Abnormalities approach that you want to take here, showcasing a place after the story has already happened with the set pieces implying the story of the place and creating a mystery. That approach is fine, but you need to be detailed about what's in the rooms themselves and also let them speak for themselves. You don't seem to trust the readers to get the idea on their own here, with the plaques spelling out exactly what you want us to take away from each section. It leaves us no room to think, theorize, or engage with the work.

There are also far to many -X logs here. They overstay their welcome, becoming quickly repetitive in structure and honestly a bit boring. I found myself skimming and having to go back and reread sections because of that structure. I recommend either cutting them down, or finding a way to make them feel more varied.

I can tell you're pulling from personal experience, and I commend you for refusing to give up. Unfortunately this still isn't quite it. I really, really recommend engaging more with the on site crit community so you can get feedback from authors/reviewers experienced in the modern site.

Fernlom 22 Aug 2023 16:46

As always Ori you are an amazing critic. Thanks again for taking the time to not only read my work, but also to leave such a concise comment. I'll be giving it another shot thanks to your kind advice.

SYTYCFanon 20 Aug 2023 21:33

Here because I saw that you tweeted at the Fanon twitter that you were displeased at me not leaving a comment on this. I don't normally explain downvotes but being that you asked in such a public way i felt inclined to respond.

I'd first like to correct that despite this accoutn sharing the name of the podcast, only one of us uses this account.

This anomaly was frankly a bit too mundane and boring for my tastes. Like Ori said above the story and themes are told fairly blantantly when it could have been deliver3d in a subtle and satisfying manner.

Secondly, it doesnt really make any sense that the foundation didn't try excavating the 14th chamber even though you set it up in the description. (It might be impossible given that humand cant damage the building but you probanly should have made that clear)

Fernlom 22 Aug 2023 16:51

Oh shit did I really call you out like that? Sorry man, that was not my intention. I am truly honored that you took the time to read and vote on my work here, you are a great author and i respect your opinion!

Fernlom 22 Aug 2023 16:50

DELETEC

Last edited on 22 Aug 2023 16:50 by Fernlom Show more

Voiiiii 22 Sep 2023 11:55

I enjoyed it, although there are definitely some grammatical errors and spelling issues. Send me a message if you would like me to go over them with you! +1

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Cheers!

Fernlom 25 Sep 2023 04:55

I'd really appreciate that!