SCP "Dancing Sickness"

Summary:

This idea has potential to overcome my writing style

SCP "Dancing Sickness"

Dajvj 17 Feb 2016 07:10

http://scpsandbox2.wikidot.com/dajvj
tab- Dancing Sickness

I feel that the current organization makes it a little difficult to follow, and the addenda present too many competing concepts.

Thank you in advance for constructive feedback.

Re: SCP "Dancing Sickness"

VincentI 17 Feb 2016 14:07

The addendums appear to be out of order. At first before I clicked the audio log piece, I thought this was just a description of dancing sickness (A real thing), and after it was just a description of an object causing dancing sickness. Honestly pretty boring all around. Try to make it draw in the reader.

Forum Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 19 Feb 2016 17:13

Try to make it draw in the reader.

VincentI, this sort of "catchphrase feedback" is both vague and unhelpful to an author. How should they edit the piece to make it "draw in the reader" more? What about this is boring? Is it the effect? Is it the lack of exploration of the object's history? Is it the object itself?

Don't assume that the author automatically knows your thought process.

Edit: Also, addenda, not "addendums".

Last edited on 19 Feb 2016 17:22 by Zyn Show more