SCP-332 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-332.

page 1 of 3123next »

stormbreath 28 Apr 2023 18:28

'Cause the players tried to take the field
The marching band refused to yield
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

This is my rewrite of SCP-332, The 1976 Kirk Lonwood High School Marching Band. It is a daunting prospect to rewrite an article this old and famous, but it really never did all that much with the concept initially presented. I was mulling over the rewritable Series 1 slots, saw this, and realized I had a direction for a rewrite — so I hopped right on it, and got to work.

My goal with the ListPages here is that the first offset is a very classic version of the article, one that hews closely to the original premise (with one exception, see below). This preserves any references to SCP-332 found elsewhere. I get funky with things in the second offset, but that's set five hundred years later and can be ignored for continuity with other canons if needed. Still part of the story, but the base anomaly isn't locked into Ad Astra Per Aspera.

Thanks to the following for helping to get this into shape:

• LORDXVNV — Initial help with idea crit, led me to focus on AAPA instead of a mix of canons as I had initially considered. Later general crit.
• Ralliston, GremlinGroup, DrBleep — General crit.
• armedturret, AstersQuill, and Fortanono for crit in 19cord.
• nico, aiko and Riemann for reviewing this Rewrite in the Rewrite Team and approving it.

---

Why did you remove the cognitohazard?

This is the big change from the original article, in that the band no longer has a mind whammy on listeners. I thought a lot about keeping this, but decided not to for a number of reasons.

The first is that I felt it was a cheap way to increase the danger of the anomaly, which didn't need to happen. It served little purpose other than to make the anomaly something scarier and spookier, and it didn't feel very connected to the actual themes of the anomaly or Class of '76 in general. I decided to remove it, so the horror might stand better on its own.

I see this article as dealing with themes of being trapped in nostalgia and unable/unwilling to move on from the past. Critical to this idea was that the band was fixed as what it was, unable to change or move on. The idea that others could be affected by the anomaly, and made into band members was at odds with this idea. The central anomaly needs to be completely unable to change — and making people band members is a form of change.

This, in turn, meant that I needed to scrap the log. I tried to see if there was anything I could do to salvage it, but it really didn't make sense as it was. A 16mm video is "corrupted" (something that doesn't happen to film), and despite SCP-332 killing through exhaustion and exposure, people die two minutes after they are mind whammied. It just didn't make sense, let alone with the rewrite I had envisioned.

Also, I'm sure that SCP-7676 work a lot of the time as a stand in for the old SCP-332 where absolutely needed.

---

can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

Last edited on 28 Apr 2023 18:33 by stormbreath Show more

Merehrab 28 Apr 2023 18:33

Alright, I’ll say it, I didn’t think that a rewrite of an already good SCP with 400+ upvotes could pay off so well, but damn you Stormbreath, you made it even better. Great tie in with Ad Astra, I fucking love this.

Last edited on 28 Apr 2023 18:34 by Merehrab Show more

+1

Palias 28 Apr 2023 19:53

Edit: I read the replies below and changed to a +1. Good job with this article, stormbreath. But for context,:

Yes, I knew about Lethe events before this article.

This article is very heavily reliant on prior knowledge of SCP-3848, though mostly in the second offset.

Disregarding that, the main article itself doesn’t really have the same “Ooph” that the original did, I feel. Even after rereading through it. There’s just a group of students that want to stay young, even if it means becoming inhuman? The motive feels weak.

Then, the second offset. I get that, “New-332 is resistant against the anti memetic fog and will play into the end of time, doing what they love, and we (grown ups) are not about that”, but, other than the ending, the second offset doesn’t click for me.

Edit: edited the ending bit. I’m sorry I couldn’t remember that well.

Last edited on 29 Apr 2023 23:08 by Palias Show more

Re: -1

stormbreath 28 Apr 2023 19:59

Disregarding that, the main article itself doesn’t really have the same “Ooph” that the original did

i strongly disagree. the old article was an incoherent mess for a lot of reasons, both thematically and narratively (in the end video log people start dying for no explicable reason, because 332 kills by exposure but people drop dead in five minutes)

we should all learn a nice good lesson/feel warm and fuzzy inside

No, wrong. Not the point. Reread the article.

---

can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

Last edited on 28 Apr 2023 20:08 by stormbreath Show more

Re: -1

Palias 28 Apr 2023 20:31

i strongly disagree. the old article was an incoherent mess for a lot of reasons, both thematically and narratively

Okay, I made that point while summarizing the SCP as a whole. I didn’t read into the specifics of the original, so I wouldn’t know, but I felt as though the original connected to the Class of ‘76 canon better. Like a clear-cut path to Syncope and the class of seventy-six.

No, wrong. Not the point. Reread the article.

…
fuck
I apologize for my bad memory. There’s no way I actually interpreted the ending as being warm lmao
I’ve updated my original post. Is that right? Also, are you trying to show the difference in points of view between the teenagers and adults, where the teens (in 322) want to stay in highschool, and the adults wouldn’t, as they’ve grown past that “highschool-college” stage, as mentioned by the two at the end?

Re: -1

stormbreath 28 Apr 2023 20:41

The broad point of the ending is that freezing yourself into one form will leave you isolated and detached from the world. The idea that the world moved on and the Earth of 2476 is completely different from that of 1976 isn't something from Ad Astra, it's just how history works in general. Stasis, like that of the band, is no way to live.

High school as we know it today didn't exist five hundred years ago. It'd be silly to think it will exist in the same form in five hundred years. Even if the broad strokes remain the same, the nuances won't be. Teenagers will still probably have school. But proms, homecoming, marching bands, football teams, college applications, graduation — it's unlikely these will still be part of that experience.

The other element of the second offset is that even if clinging to the past and refusing to change wasn't inherently unhealthy, the kids didn't even choose a good time of life to stay in.

---

can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

Re: +1

Palias 28 Apr 2023 21:41

Cool.

Re: -1

Uncle Nicolini 28 Apr 2023 20:03

This article is very heavily reliant on prior knowledge of SCP-3848, though mostly in the second offset.

i feel as if this article does a good job getting the reader up to speed as to what is going on. as much context as is necessary to enjoy the story is given without the need to go out and read another article. sure, reading it would benefit your enjoyment of this one, but it's not necessary.

we should all learn a nice good lesson/feel warm and fuzzy inside

i dont think we read the same article. respectfully, you should reconsider your reading comprehension ability if this is what you got from it.

Re: -1

Palias 28 Apr 2023 20:33

i dont think we read the same article.

I’ve reread the ending of the article and updated my original post. Hopefully, I’m right about the ending now.

respectfully, you should reconsider your reading comprehension ability if this is what you got from it.

IM SORRY OKAY

Crow-Cat 28 Apr 2023 20:08

It feels really weird without the cognitohazard, but thematically it's much stronger now. The message is poignant and also a bit haunting. +1

Ethagon 29 Apr 2023 13:32

seconding this. I never read the original, but I was sure I just missed the line that talks about the effect the music has. But yeah, this is great as is. +1

Guaire 28 Apr 2023 20:26

I initially thought the idea of making this an ad-astra piece was weird, but it has greately improved the themes of the original article. The only complaint I'd have is that the second part relies a little too much on the lethe events, which might be confusing for those that haven't read the relevant SCPs

AndarielHalo 28 Apr 2023 20:28

Greatly appeals to how I feel at all times, but the ad astra version thing completely lost me. I don't understand what it is or what it's supposed to mean for the original scp.

I'm completely clueless as to the hub or any of the references being made but that's okay I don't have a problem with that I just don't understand how it connects to scp-332

Edit: much like with 4833 I got it after the author explained it to me

Last edited on 28 Apr 2023 20:54 by AndarielHalo Show more

LORDXVNV 28 Apr 2023 20:42

Life imitates art.

Kothardarastrix 28 Apr 2023 23:28

This neatly captures the folly and potential horror of stagnation. It looks ever so slightly nostalgic at times, but that’s just a disguise, as it should be. I was a little skeptical about ad astra, but then I saw what purpose it served, and how well it served it.

I’m glad you kept everything mostly crosslink-consistent, and now that you mention it the cognitohazard didn’t ever really make sense anyway. Still, I somewhat wish that this interconnected a bit more with Remembrance. Overall, an improvement on the original.

Rhineriver 29 Apr 2023 00:12

This is very bold, but I think it works very well.

I think the second offset makes this have way less of a typical Class of 76 vibe than the other 76 articles, but the story told through the second offset more than makes up for that. It's a very good story and I think it's a much-needed improvement on the original.

My only real complaint is that I wish it forewent the AAPA connection and was instead a more general scenario, just to make it more standalone. That said, the AAPA connection is done in a way that works so well that I don't really mind it too too much.

Good stuff, +1.

---

🦑

stormbreath 29 Apr 2023 00:50

My only real complaint is that I wish it forewent the AAPA connection and was instead a more general scenario, just to make it more standalone. That said, the AAPA connection is done in a way that works so well that I don't really mind it too too much.

The first iteration of this concept (this is an idea that never made it to paper, to be clear) ended with a split timeline, where the Foundation got access to a bunch of alternate futures and saw how SCP-332 didn't change in any of them. There were two problems with this: 1) If SCP-332 wasn't changing, that wouldn't give a lot of room for the futures to be distinct from each other and 2) I didn't have a lot of established futures to work with.

In workshopping that idea, I realized that the contrast between AAPA's far future version of Earth and SCP-332 would make for a thematic fit, and I decided to focus on that as the single alternate future.

---

can I get some nice "no signatures on my forum"
sigma-9 css machine broke
understandable have a nice day

Love this!

bigslothonmyface 29 Apr 2023 01:56

Absolutely preserved successful elements of the original while adding so much new value here. Thoroughly enjoyed.

Djlolotis 29 Apr 2023 10:37

You’ve rewritten an old article we’re you captured the central appeal of the anomaly while adding lots of new juicy bits, a very strong skill that I have got to respect, +1.

page 1 of 3123next »