[Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

Summary:

An intangible entity wanting to share its knowledge with the human race.

[Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

EeEeEe_11 16 Feb 2023 08:00

An intangible entity wanting to share its knowledge with the human race by placing its knowledge into the center of a labyrinth only accessible through a 'mental' gateway. [Originally known as Hall of Insanity before reiteration]

Seeking Greenlights: Yes (2/2)

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Mystery

Elevator Pitch: An intangible entity, which has a fascination with the human race, wanting to share its knowledge to help progress civilization further. To do so, it places its knowledge in the center of a labyrinth and ‘transports’ people’s minds once they enter its physical gateway; however, there are limitations to how much knowledge they can obtain before suffering consequences.

Central Narrative:

+ Let's have a look!

In my article, there is a scholar currently researching towards solving an unsolved concept. The gateway is a hallway in a public library, enabling the entity to expand its reach to more people. Once entering, the scholar originally gets pointed towards an answer for their unsolved task; however, when they gain the knowledge they required, the entity starts to draw the scholar to a new area, deeper within the labyrinth.

Here, they mentally combat a few conflicts. They have achieved her goal, they can publish the answer with the missing pieces finally found; however, their mind keeps wandering back to the labyrinth and what ‘untold’ knowledge there is left, their curiosity growing. Their main reason against re-entering is due to the risk of potential mental damage, as rumors have spread with people left in a ‘zombie-like’ state who were ‘unworthy’ to the entity and consequently punished. As a substory, a cult will form over finding a person worthy enough for the labyrinth and its answers, giving a position of power to those deemed worthy. With this in mind, the scholar’s conflict will be entering at their own risk and understanding they have a limit, versus their thirst for more knowledge, grasping at the opportunity to be the first person to answer ‘the unanswerable’.

In the end they decide to enter the labyrinth, introducing them to the newer area. However, what they discover is completely incomprehensible. As the damage isn’t instantaneous, they have the option to withdraw with minor damage; however, knowing they are close to the answer pushes them to stay within the labyrinth. Unfortunately, despite their effort, they fall victim to their own greed as they weren’t physically able to handle the new influx of knowledge. Their actions leave themselves neurologically damaged, with in particular, their motor functions and memory in a degraded state. Their work will be published on their behalf, yet they will never truly relish its success.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: The mystery surrounding what the limit of knowledge truly is and if there are answers to unknown concepts humans can’t conceptualize (eg. death, existence, meaning of life).

Last edited on 23 Feb 2023 05:53 by EeEeEe_11 Show more

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Hall of Insanity

Lesnotfound 16 Feb 2023 14:14

An SCP is not an entity of its own, the SCP designation is given to a broad range of objects, such as a reality-bending cat¹ , a parrot with the mind of a boy², and a neck- snapping statue made of Krylon spray paint³. It stands for Secure, Contain, Protect.
Try use a term like "the entity" or "the object".
You should go and read "How to Write an SCP" first.

Footnotes

1. SCP-795

2. SCP-1192

3. SCP-173

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Hall of Insanity

EeEeEe_11 16 Feb 2023 14:29

Hello,

Thank you for the help but I am a little confused! Rather than say "the SCP" I should say "the entity"? I will keep this in mind.

Also thank you for the tip but I have already read "How to Write an SCP".

Just a Note...

Reverend Fox 16 Feb 2023 18:57

Lesnotfound, can you comment on more here? What did you think of the draft overall?

Your comment is rather unhelpful to the author as it doesn't provide critique for anything other than, "Don't use this term. Use this term, instead." With regards to ConCrit, the specific terminology one uses doesn't have to be specific. For example; 'entity', 'object', 'SCP', 'scip', 'SCP-XXXX', 'that one thing', 'Bob' etc. are all fine to use while in the concept phase.

Further points:

• Linking to Series I and II articles can be highly misleading because they are not indicative of current writing and concept standards on the site as a whole.
• If you're going to reference a Help Essay such as How To Write an SCP, then please at least do the common courtesy of linking it so the author doesn't have to go searching for it.
  • A slightly more helpful article to link would have been Essay on Communicating Ideas, although the author's concept is quite well-done and worded clearly.

---

"Sometimes you can approach feedback with a scalpel, sometimes only the sledgehammer approach will make your point clear."
~ Zyn - Forum Crit Team Captain @ The SCP Foundation

Last edited on 16 Feb 2023 19:41 by Reverend Fox Show more

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Hall of Insanity

DianaBerry 16 Feb 2023 17:16

[Placeholder, summoned via pm] will critique within a few days]

 ♥*♡Open Critique♥*♡

First and foremost, what zoobeeny said. But I'll elaborate in my own way.

This is a very cliche and stereotypical 'it makes you go crazy' anomaly. And at that, it's an anomaly that uses bad and deteriorating mental health as a cheap scare tactic, which I've never been a fan of. Writing characters and SCPs that have and cause declining mental health can be very affective when done right. But generally I don't think pretty much the only anomalous properties of something should be mental health related. You need to handle mental health carefully. The plot of this is basically just a woman going slowly insane. That can be interesting if you give the reader a character that they care about and it's telling a good message would good pacing. But here you only really use it to be scary. You're not considering her as a character. Please don't use 'they go insane' to try and be scary.

Overall, there isn't anything that hooks me to this.

  

Last edited on 16 Feb 2023 21:05 by DianaBerry Show more

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Hall of Insanity

EeEeEe_11 16 Feb 2023 22:04

Hello,

Thank you for the feedback! I really appreciate your input.

I will keep in mind the points you have mentioned and try to be more considerate towards mental health and character development. I really hope to do it justice through my portrayal. I have given an outline of my idea to Zoobeeny which I believe covers some relevant points you mention.

I was wondering if you have any ideas for any other anomalous properties that would work? If not, that's all good!

Quick Edit Addition: Would it be better to focus less on the person's mental wellbeing in regards to sanity and instead shift my focus onto what the person experiences when hallucinating the labyrinth? I was planning to have what they experience when inside the labyrinth while hallucinating impacting their mental state. Therefore, I can shift/introduce a new main narrative where the interviewers are trying to find out what happens inside the labyrinth and if all the cases are connected somehow. So insanity is less of a focus and instead having the narrative on an interviewer who is tasked with finding an explanation, possibly even getting obsessed with finding an answer to the point where they consider entering the hallway themselves. Would this work better as a central narrative and instead move my current central narrative as a side narrative that builds into the mystery (if the labyrinth has a pull on the interviewer or they simply want to enter for their own ambition can be a point of interest)?

Again, thank you for your feedback and highlighting a new perspective!

Last edited on 16 Feb 2023 23:16 by EeEeEe_11 Show more

Placeholder!

Reverend Fox 16 Feb 2023 19:03

Heya! 🦊 Let's see what we can do with this!

▶ I don't know if I'm hallucinating, but...

Personal Analysis

• What Works:
  • Labyrinths, while somewhat overplayed [especially with the whole Backrooms, Poolrooms, Bathrooms, and severelyoverplayedgenrerooms], can still be used as a somewhat interesting setting for a story. It takes careful work and consideration, but it can be done.
  • There's a hint of something awesome in the additional notes that I think could become a more central focus. I'll call attention to it in suggestion 1.
  • From your reply to Zoobeeny: Having there be a focused character who struggles with the reality of the situation can really ground a piece and help the audience relate to it more. The idea of being so wrapped up in this fuckarow that she can't fully trust her senses and, inevitably, gives up is a nice, satisfying way to punch this concept up without having to focus on a full dive into mental illness; instead, it's a slow psychological, stress-based breakdown. However, there's a thing here as well that I'll cover in suggestion 2.
  • From your reply to DianaBerry: You touch on something else that can be expanded on — "if the labyrinth has a pull on the interviewer or they simply want to enter for their own ambition can be a point of interest." This. A tiny detail, but something can be done with this.
• What Doesn't Work:
  • Honestly, this is covered quite well by both Zoobeeny and DianaBerry, and I'm struggling to find anything unique to point out here.

Questions

• Just a few questions, aside from the ones posed by my fellow Critters, to get the noggin joggin' [or some other cliche]:
  • What is the overall purpose of this anomaly's creation?
  • Who was it built by?
    • Is their story told through the properties of the anomaly?
    • Did they lose control of it, and now it's being used by their enemies?
      • Did the anomaly itself go rogue?
  • Is there something more to the anomaly outside of being a hallucinated labyrinth?

Suggestions

Take these with a grain of salt as this is your anomaly. These are just some suggestions I would like to throw in. Just brainstorming at the moment.

1. Okay, in your Additional Notes, you mention that the newspaper article used the labyrinth as a symbol for salvation and sin. Maybe this anomaly is the remnant of an ancient temple, and now certain people in the town have formed a cult around it. The town's religious leaders could use it to "convert" people into their cult.
   • Or maybe, townspeople simply feel some kind of enlightenment or euphoria while spending time in it and start forming a kind of addiction. Eh, religion… addiction… kinda similar, eh?
2. The slow progression of stress toward a break can be quite interesting and draw the audience in more than compulsion-induced insanity. Maybe she visits the anomaly because she feels it's making things better.

I'm gonna toss a few from far out-field.

• Maybe instead of being a big-scary, it's just initially misunderstood as such.
  • What if it's the immortal form of some entity that enjoys the company of people, and being in the presence of the labyrinth is beneficial to both the people and the entity within the anomaly?
  • Perhaps the anomaly was formed from the collective good of an ancient collective of people and served to protect that collective from some cataclysm. Their memories and stories could remain there within the anomaly.
    • Similarly, it could be a library or similar collection of ancient or alien knowledge that modern humanity would struggle to understand.

In conclusion, your concept has a lot of potential. With some work, you can get this thing rolling!

Please shoot me a PM when you reply in-thread. My RSS notifier isn't working for whatever reason.

I hope this helped! For further help, please either reach out to another member of the Butterfly Squad or drop by the #TheCritters chatroom on the IRC for further advice and critique!

If you need any clarification or advice, or have questions, please don't hesitate to reach out!

ETA: Alrighty, after exchanging a couple messages with the author regarding the concept and the direction it is now heading, I'll grant this concept its first Greenlight~!

---

"Sometimes you can approach feedback with a scalpel, sometimes only the sledgehammer approach will make your point clear."
~ Zyn - Forum Crit Team Captain @ The SCP Foundation

Last edited on 18 Feb 2023 00:19 by Reverend Fox Show more

Re: Placeholder!

EeEeEe_11 18 Feb 2023 06:09

Thank you so much for the greenlight and feedback you have given me. I appreciate it a lot!

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Hall of Insanity

Zoobeeny 16 Feb 2023 20:04

Summoned via PM.

First, things that make people go insane are kind of boring, because insanity is really hard to write properly. People don't just go insane, and something forcing people to go insane is arguably worse, because now it's completely random and there's no real stakes. It's more of an inevitability.

You don't really have a narrative here. What you have is a series of events, which may be portrayed as a narrative, but is not actually a narrative. The main thing you're missing is a conflict.

What are the obstacles in the way of the protagonist(s)? How is the obstacle overcome? Is it even overcome?

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Hall of Insanity

EeEeEe_11 16 Feb 2023 21:56

Hello!

Thank you so much for the feedback. I really appreciate it!

1. I do agree insanity can unfortunately limit a character’s development so I have tried to come up with a plan to overcome the forced insanity trope. I plan to introduce, let's say, ‘stages’ of what is deemed ‘insanity.’ There are two aspects which can help determine someone’s stage: 1. How far they go into the hallway. The more a person goes into the hallway (towards the dead-end), the more under the hallway’s influence they are. This part does have a bit of forced insanity as there will be cases where it is possible for the hallway’s effects to immediately cause extreme hallucinations and a weakened state of mind, but I hope to make this a rare instance. 2. Mental strength will be another major aspect. Like any mental illness or like-wise characteristics, the severity is also dependent on who the person themselves are. Since the hallway’s influence triggers compulsive behaviors, this can develop into a person’s obsession and hyperfixation, potentially overriding their usual activities and routines. So some people may only ever suffer from the hallway’s intermediate effects if they A. naturally adapt better mentally or B. Have a strong support system. Also, just to add in for additional information and clarity, the hallucinations are able to induce dominating feelings to people under the influence of the hallway, specifically a feeling of loss, desperation, and fear. These are enhanced by the structure of the labyrinth being uninviting, containing looming walls which make the person feel insignificant and trapped, and an unsettling eeriness of the unknown. Additionally, being in reality one second and then suddenly in the labyrinth is disorientating and creates a panic and confused state of mind. Hope what I said clears up that part but if not I’m more than happy for suggestions!

+ show block

2. As for the conflict, I was planning on the lady mentioned in my Central Narrative to be a member of the public who was one of the first people subjected to the hallway’s influence unintentionally, rather than a D-class subject for research. My aim with this is to have relatable stages of conflict to add more character development and realness that a D-class wouldn’t necessarily give. The first major conflict would be the lady struggling with the sudden influx of hallucinations in her everyday life, and subsequently how people in her life react. These hallucinations won’t be often or severe enough to cause serious mental damage initially, but instead enough to disrupt her daily routine and for colleagues, relatives, and other significant people in her life to describe her as ‘distant’ at times. As an attempt to combat this ‘sudden change of character’, the lady tries to suppress any thoughts she develops in relation to the labyrinth, mainly through distractions and doing other activities to pull her mind away. However, this inadvertently makes her think more about the labyrinth and become more aware when she does hallucinate (making her question why she is hallucinating, what it means, is there anything deeper to the hallucinations). At some point I plan for her to try and explain to relatives and friends her concerns, however, they won’t react to the idea receptively, such as saying she is overreacting over nothing. In summary, she will experience stages of denial by attempting to reject and avoid reality as it will come with unpleasant and distressing experiences that are easier to avoid rather than confront. Consequently, she won’t be able to overcome the situation as she eventually ‘gives in’ to the fixation since she couldn’t properly accept her situation. I hope to showcase her mental conflict throughout her actions in the interview process as it will be a gradual process and nothing instantaneous.

Quick Edit Addition: DianaBerry brought up similar feedback and I've suggested shifting away from the above narrative possibly working better. Instead I should have the above narrative as a piece adding to the mystery. Please let me know your thoughts on this as I'd be happy to rewrite and explore a new central narrative!

I hope this helps clarify the idea a little better! I would love to flesh this idea out more, so thank you for the feedback.

Last edited on 18 Feb 2023 18:35 by EeEeEe_11 Show more

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

Zoobeeny 18 Feb 2023 19:47

Resummoned via PM.

BY GOD IT'S ZOOBEENY...

You're still missing a narrative. You've put a description of the SCP in the Central Narrative area.

Who's the protagonist of this story? Is it this lady? What is their goal? Is it to escape the SCP? Figure out what it is?

What gets in the way of their goal? The SCP? Someone else? Themselves?

Do they accomplish their goal? Do they fail? How? How does this story end, essentially?

Finally, what emotions do you want the readers to feel when they read this story? How about when they finish?

---

Onto the SCP, specifically.

How does this SCP have knowledge? Does it just have it? What knowledge is this? How does it share it with humans?

What happens when people's minds are "transported"?

---

Right now, I think you just need to really flesh out what kind of story you want to tell. Figure out the characters, their personalities, their goals, and then, figure out the conflict, the specific obstacles and how they're overcome.

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

Fireknight 20 Feb 2023 14:32

+ Howdy hey, here's what I have to say!

I like stories about people being enrapt by fascination, and it seems like you have a good plan as to how to tell one. The one thing I will note is that the cult should have more impact in the piece. You shouldn't just introduce them and then not have them do anything. Perhaps they're coming ofter the scholar because they found out he can enter the labyrinth. There could also be an interesting interaction where he thinks they're dangerous, but finds out that they are actually coming to help him, though maybe not in the most comfortable way. Either way, I think this story is interesting, and am willing to greenlight it.

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

EeEeEe_11 20 Feb 2023 16:07

Hello!

Thank you for the feedback!

+ Show

I hope to tie in the cult more with the scholar, having the direction more towards an obsessiveness over sending people in and gathering information. Some of the cultists are even addicted to the comforting presence of the labyrinth and would rather spend time 'serving' the labyrinth through worship; but the more influential members had noticed the scholar within premise of the hallway and seek them out.

Just to clarify, this obsessiveness is less of a 'we'll force you to go in' and more of them playing into a person's desire to convince them to re-enter, even going as far as to claim they 'sense' when someone is worthy. This brings a sort of comfort and understanding between the two (the cultists and scholar), subsequently feeding the scholar's thirst for knowledge and the scholar developing a sense of uniqueness. The cultists have a duality of using people for more information, versus actually seeking out someone capable for knowledge; however, the line blurs between the two.

I would love to have any input into this! Thank you for your time.

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

Fireknight 20 Feb 2023 18:06

Is this actually a cult? It’s a bunch of people who are fascinated by the SCP, but they don’t seem to show signs of the control over their members or the charismatic leader that makes a group a cult. Honestly, it could be more interesting to have them just be a research organization without any religious traits, since a cult worshipping the SCP is a little played out.

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Labyrinth of Knowledge

EeEeEe_11 20 Feb 2023 19:55

Yeah, I wasn't too sure what to call it exactly!

I still like the idea of people having a sort of comforting addiction while others having a greed for information, subsequently forming a congregation with people who are in their own way interested in the labyrinth. Highlighting a duality of the entity's influence. They still find the labyrinth a sacred place for knowledge so having researchers/volunteers for experiments could help tie the group and protagonist together for a more coherent narrative and this would make more sense as to why they aren't hostile.

ETA: Thank you so much for the greenlight! I really appreciate it and will take onboard your feedback!

Last edited on 23 Feb 2023 05:52 by EeEeEe_11 Show more