Umbra's Brilliance

Summary:

Previewsly known as ,"Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine"

Crystalline Serpent

Bugtrouble 13 Feb 2023 21:34

SCP Foundation is known/unknown for its name. SECURE, CONTAIN, PROTECT. However, with thousands of SCPs that mostly consist of DEADLY, HORRIFYING, OH MY GOD! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD SCENARIO. It's easy to conclude that the Foundation is at their gloomy, rock bottom state. Although there are SCPs out there who are more or less good and helpful, it simply isn't enough. So let me introduce you…

Seeking Critique / Greenlights: yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Fantasy Fiction

Page Layout (Optional): In Progress.

Elevator Pitch: A NEW look on the mythological entity native to the Philippines, Bakunawa, a moon devouring dragon/ serpent.

Central Narrative: Describing the characteristics of the serpentine creature that closely colorate with Bakunawa without the actual mention of its lore, history and as such. Those who don’t know about the subject will read the article as nothing more than your regular anomaly. However those who might notice the resemblance could question its existence and start establishing possible conspiracies and questions. I intend to make slight changes to Bakunawa's lore as I write its article and that will indefinitely twist the reader’s view towards the mythical creature in a new light.

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Hook/Attention-Grabber (Optional): It's not rare however it consists of three anomalies in one article. I will first dive into the specifics of the containment itself which is anomaly 01. Then the serpentine creature’s characteristics. And lastly, the sudden changes of its behavior that lead to a change of its class which is the most cliché it can be in the SCP Foundation. Is taking extra precaution from a creature who already contains itself the best course of action? Given the benefits that could be gained from it? Well, given the Foundation’s seemingly massive resources, it's a story doomed to have a bad ending. Fortunately, the SCP Foundation is Cold not Cruel.

Additional Notes: I will write instances that question the SCP Foundation morality in this article. If this becomes a hit, I might add-on more detailed references about this article from other articles I will write in the future. Any critique is greatly appreciated.

As a courtesy to our readers on mobile devices, please collapse long posts. ~Zyn

Last edited on 14 Feb 2023 08:01 by Bugtrouble Show more

Re: Crystalline Serpent

ExiAsWell 15 Feb 2023 17:17

Here on request of author.

c o l l a p s a b l e

I would say your biggest problem is your lack of narrative. The narrative is the story you want to tell. It includes people, places, and events with a definite beginning and end. The great thing about the SCP format is that you can tell stories using anomalous objects in weird and unconventional ways, such as audio transcripts, journals, etc. Good articles take advantage of these, and use them to tell a story. Your article doesn’t have a central narrative currently.

The wiki has evolved significantly over the years, and a narrative is essentially required to make a successful article in series 8.

Another major problem is that your anomaly is just a mythical creature with nothing else. As Zoobeeny already mentioned, successful articles using folklore anomalies need to put a twist on the original source. For example - SCP-1000, Bigfoot. It isn’t just Bigfoot. Instead, it’s a race that died out years ago by an unknown disease. That’s a good folklore article. If you don’t plan on expanding the lore or origins of the creature, you may want to read some of the articles me and Zoobeeny have linked. I do think that Bakunawa is a super interesting folktale, so I’d love to see an article about it.

Another thing is that you want the article to question the morality of the foundation. However, I personally think that this doesn’t fit the article you are going for. You previously mentioned that you want to have the article focus on the anomaly and its origin. You really need to pick one or the other, as they don’t really mesh easily.

Some questions I’d like answered -

However those who might notice the resemblance could question its existence and start establishing possible conspiracies and questions.

1.) How do you plan on doing this?

It's not rare however it consists of three anomalies in one article. I will first dive into the specifics of the containment itself which is anomaly 01

2.) What are the other anomalies?

3.) What ideas do you have for a central narrative? I’d like to hear a couple.

4.) How will you differentiate your anomaly from the regular folk tale? What will you change/add to the original story?

5.) What do you want to truly focus on in your story? History or morality?

Answer these, and we can continue.

Take care,
-Exi

Re: Crystalline Serpent

Bugtrouble 16 Feb 2023 00:20

Thank you, they’re definitely a lot of questions unanswered and issues with the narrative that I will solve. I will edit this reply at a later time to create a response. Thank you.

Re: Crystalline Serpent

ExiAsWell 19 Feb 2023 05:18

Here on request of author for the second time.

Your pitch shouldn’t be this long and over explained. You don’t need to go into every detail to get reviews from reviewers. I would like you to try an exercise. Rewrite your pitch using the correct format but every section can only be 5 sentences long. remember, it’s a summary. You need to summarize it. Feel free to PM me when you finish.

Take care,
-Exi

Re: Crystalline Serpent

Bugtrouble 19 Feb 2023 07:47

Seeking Greenlights: yes

Elevator Pitch: A giant glowing sea dragon that can make artificial typhoon that drowns hostiles and bring them back to life years later.

Central Narrative: Dr. Name, a supposed "captain" of the ship, drowned everyone due to his lack of judgement and experience. Azzaia, being one of the people who lost someone in that incident, lives her life on a self-guided path that she thinks that'll make her parents proud, but a path that's waning on her. The SCP Foundation later found out that everyone is alive and living their new life, especially for Dr. Name who stayed far away from his duties ashamed from what has transpired. Although, what he experienced and years of contemplations could have made him into a better leader. Azzaia, given the news, reunited with her parents but realized that she should have live her life that makes her happy, rather than upholding to her parent's legacy.

Hook/Attention-Grabber (Optional): The SCP in question is as odd and mysterious as the other [I hope]. We're introduced with individuals, at their own write, had their good ending although we might say otherwise. Think of these individuals as characters in a video game, they are given choices that leads to an alternate ending. Whether its bad or good, isn't really up to player or the individual, its what players/ individual thinks the best choice at that given time/ event/ cutscene. Is it bad too drink coffee now or later is up for debate.

Additional Notes: Thank you for giving this exercise AxiAsWell, its kind of difficult for me since I'm more used writing with too many tiny details because in my head, its make sense. Did I do good in this exercise? I also need a confirmation if I did on the Hook/ Attention-Grabber right or not. I feel what I wrote down is just another extension of the central narrative and not an actual Hook. If the answer is no, could you give me an example of a correct one?

Last edited on 19 Feb 2023 07:55 by Bugtrouble Show more

Re: Crystalline Serpent

ExiAsWell 23 Feb 2023 00:25

Here on request of author for the third time.

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Thank you for giving this exercise AxiAsWell, its kind of difficult for me since I'm more used writing with too many tiny details because in my head, its make sense. Did I do good in this exercise

While i still think you are over explaining things a little bit here as well, it’s leagues better than before. It’s very important to not overwhelm the reader, which is why I’ve given you this exercise. You should be able to convey the same minuscule details by implying them through short yet precise and well written sentences. But for future ideas just remember that as opposed to the draft thread, the idea thread is not about working out small details like a finished draft. It’s about shaping the concept and big ideas.

I also need a confirmation if I did on the Hook/ Attention-Grabber right or not

The hook/attention grabber is completely optional, and isn’t as important as the narrative. It’s totally fine.

My biggest problem is still the narrative. Again, the narrative needs 5 things. I’ll run through them right now.

People - The characters your story focuses on. You have characters, but they seemingly take away from the anomaly at hand. The SCP format isn’t really the best way to flesh out the personalities of characters. That would be better in a tale. And do remember that Dr. Name presumably is a doctor. You know, owing a doctorate degree. You can’t tell me that Dr. name is that incompetent, yet he’s a doctor. The foundation and their doctors should be treated as competent (with a few rare exceptions). I would make it more of a freak accident than an “oh look at this guy he’s so bad at his job lmao.”

Places - not much to say here.

Events - Your article leads wayyyyyy too heavily on events, and it seemingly leaves the anomaly behind. The anomaly should be a vehicle to tell the story, yet none of the current events really have anything to do with the anomaly. If this is the route you want to take, I would consider making this a tale.

Conflict - there seems to be none. What is stopping Azzaia from achieving their goals? What stands in their way?

Conclusion - Not much to say here either

The anomaly doesn’t seem to contribute much to the article, which is weird since this is a literal SCP article. The anomaly is a way to tell a unique story, using its anomalous properties to spark a story, pushed forward by the anomaly. Your first pitch was all anomaly, no narrative. This pitch is all narrative, no anomaly. You need to find that in between. Use the anomaly to tell the story. Once you do that, then we can talk further. Respond with a new pitch that better utilizes the anomaly to tell the story. Then we can get working on the smaller stuff.

Take care,
-Exi

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

Zoobeeny 14 Feb 2023 16:44

Summoned via PM.

Given that this is a myth from the Philippines, I'm pretty sure most people won't know anything about this creature. By that token, if the article is just describing a giant snake thing, that's going to make people really bored.

Just taking a mythological creature and putting it as an SCP is both boring and uninspiring. You need to do something more than just "here's an SCP that's based on a myth".

SCP-5705 and SCP-7454 are both examples of classical myths with a new spin. They're both very much based on myths (in fact, the SCP is practically just the mythological character), but they take that character and go further with it.

All SCPs nowadays need some kind of narrative. It can be a small, short narrative, it can be simple, it can be a 60k word long behemoth of a narrative, but there needs to be some narrative.

So, what story are you going to tell? What characters are going to be involved? What obstacles will these characters face? How does it end?

You need to be able to answer these questions before your idea can really start.

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

Bugtrouble 14 Feb 2023 18:56

Thank you for your critique Zoobeeny, much appreciated :>

Because it is a myth from the Philippines, I decided not to add the lore to the article because it will definitely bore its readers. But I will be adding elements that may or may not resemble the myth, think of it as an inspiration rather than a complete copy of it.

HELP: I'm new and don't know how to fold ;_;
- Thank you ExiAsWell

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My narrative involves observations of the creature’s characteristic and its docile nature unlike most SCP contained in the foundation. Although it may seem like I’m focusing on the creature, I’m actually more inclined to write about the reactions of the personnel assigned to this anomaly. Their conversations with the creature and their developed companionship towards it as time goes on. It's not everyday a personnel gets assigned from a low risk SCP you can befriend with and still lead to a promotion. Reasoning on the basis that this creature is an asset that could potentially be exploited for the foundation.

Say, amnestic is a high risk resource, but what if they found an alternative? Not only that, personnel exposed to the anomaly have far better performance prior to their exposure? Isn’t that too beneficial to let go? Of course amnestic will still be used by the foundation, there is no denying that, there are things amnestic can do that this anomaly cannot. What I will introduce is the creature's ability to create something similar to a cryogenic chamber that not only heals external wounds, but also rehabilitates the mind, not erases or modifies it.

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Honestly I feel bad for the Class - D who will be reassigned to a far more dangerous SCP after having their mind completely healed from trauma. Which leaves the question? Isn’t this torture? Breaking the minds of people, fixing it, and breaking it again only to be fixed again. Fortunately for them, this SCP is kind enough to expose the true nature of its existence to the point where the foundation rethinks the use of its abilities for their benefit? I want the readers to question themselves, is this creature an embodiment of goodness for trying to help people or bad given the foundation reaction to a deeper insight about the creature. Or balanced as it tried to help people, but quickly noticed the consequences of its actions and changed it.

I believe I answered your question but more critique is appreciated. Again, Thank you.

Last edited on 15 Feb 2023 03:14 by Bugtrouble Show more

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

ExiAsWell 14 Feb 2023 22:05

You can fold using this text, although erase one of the e’s. It won’t let me show you otherwise :(

[[collapsiblee]]

[[/collapsiblee]]

-Exi

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

Zyn 15 Feb 2023 07:50

General note for passersby, you can use two @s surrounding wiki syntax to make it display as typed rather than displaying the code function. So

@@[[collapsible]]@@

gives:

[[collapsible]]

You can also use the [[code]] [[/code]] box.

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

Zoobeeny 15 Feb 2023 15:21

Resummoned via PM.

Uh, you actually didn't answer my question. Not fully, anyways.

You don't really have a narrative still. You have a brief outline of a narrative that's not too interesting. It's just "here's SCP, it's useful." There's nothing deeper there and that leads to a rather unfulfilling narrative arc.

It doesn't really matter, from meta-narrative standpoint, if the SCP is useful or not. The important thing is that the story is engaging.

You need characters, conflict, and a reasonable conclusion to have a solid foundation for a story.

So, then, who are the characters? What obstacles are in the way of the characters' goals? How does it end?

Finally, "healing mental trauma" with magic is a bit of an odd thing because mental trauma isn't really something physical. To insinuate that something like this is "healable" so easily can cast some dirt onto those who have suffered any kind of trauma before. Not to say you can't do it, but you have to be aware of the implications and the kind of messages you're sending with this.

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

Bugtrouble 16 Feb 2023 00:17

Thank your for your response, you made me realize that there are things that I have to take consideration for. I will edit this reply at a later time as I make changes and further research about the issue. Thank you.

Re: Oh! You Beautiful Crystalline Serpentine

(account deleted) 18 Feb 2023 08:22

now for the cool stuff!! the backstreet goods…

dont tell no one… but here…

+ M A G I C

[[collapsible show="+ Show whatever" hide="- Hide whatever"]]
Whatever text to show/hide.
[[/collapsible]]

Re: [Seeking Critique / Greenlight] Umbra's Brilliance

Bugtrouble 18 Feb 2023 07:20

Seeking Critique / Greenlights: yes

Elevator Pitch:
Veil and Iceberg Incident is a SCP-XXXX’s containment breach that resulted in no surviving casualty. Presumed dead, reappeared years later occasionally visiting the people they left behind.

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Central Narrative:
Dr. Name is a thaumaturgic researcher prioritizing on magical creatures. The perfect person for SCP-XXXX.

However, multiple containment breach and class changes ensued during his stay. As one of the highest command, he is left with difficult choices with very little experience. His theories clouded his judgment at the worst hours resulting in what they call, "Veil and Iceberg Incident" (VII), with zero survivors.

Later, we are then introduced to agent Azzaia. She was denied SCP- XXXX multiple times due to her familial connections. Her entry read; she saw her parents walked pass her and disappeared after to her surprise. This happened on her birthdays prior to VII. Traditionally, she'll stroll crowded areas hoping to see their faces again. She tried to stop and reported her situation to the foundation. "It might be just another SCP tormenting her." This didn't stop and continued, hoping to see her parents once again.

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She wasn't the only one, multiple reports show similar instances. Azzaia, earliest to this anomaly, labeled SCP-XXXX-X.

Through the use of facial recognition, the foundation found out that there are indeed people who check-up on ‘those who they left behind.’ After capturing these anomaly, very much living with their blood still pumping normally, they were later cross examined from their macro and micro characteristic to the data foundation have on these people.

The story ended with the use of amnestic for families outside the foundation and people who decided to stay in their new life are also met with amnestic as cross sightings could lead to security risk. One of these people is the one and only Dr. Name. And people who stayed and have families inside the foundation are met with a delighted reunion as they look forward to the future within the foundation. One of these people is Azzaia.

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Hook/Attention-Grabber (Optional):
The question is, “ Did the casualties of VII actually die and resurrect or is there something way deeper to be explored here?” This isn’t a murder mystery as there aren’t any actual dead people. You either get a good or a bad ending if you were one of those people related to SCP-XXXX-X.

Last edited on 18 Feb 2023 08:49 by Bugtrouble Show more

Criticism Team - Captain Post

Zyn 18 Feb 2023 08:05

ETA: addressed, thank you!

Last edited on 20 Feb 2023 08:02 by Zyn Show more

Re: Criticism Team - Captain Post

Bugtrouble 18 Feb 2023 08:49

Thank you Zyn for reminding me, I'll be more careful next time. It should be 399 word including the collapsible codes.

Last edited on 18 Feb 2023 08:51 by Bugtrouble Show more

Re: [Seeking Critique / Greenlight] Umbra's Brilliance

Zoobeeny 18 Feb 2023 18:47

Reresummoned via PM.

I'm kind of confused now. What is the SCP here? Is it still the snake?

Your narrative is odd. I'm not actually sure what's happening. We're told that there's this incident, lots of dead people, and then…?

Why is Azzaia "denied SCP-XXXX"? What does that mean?

Are people who died coming back? Is that what's happening?

Honestly, I'm having a lot of difficulty reading this concept. I don't know what the SCP is, I don't know what it does, I don't know what it did, and I don't know how this ties into the narrative.

Re: [Seeking Critique / Greenlight] Umbra's Brilliance

Bugtrouble 18 Feb 2023 20:28

Thank you Zoobeeny for the reply,

The SCP is still a giant snake/ dragon. I have to cut off some stuff due to the word limit so it’s confusing. The SCP in question is a Giant Glowing Sea Snake/ Dragon who only appears during an eclipse to look at the moon, the reasons are unknown. The SCP will then go back beneath the ocean after the eclipse nowhere to be seen until the next eclipse. Containment Procedures are pretty easy due to this; prediction for future eclipse and rerouting of ships and possible use of amnestic to coastal areas if an eclipse happens to be there.

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There are multiple containment breach due to the nature of the Recovery Log = From Satellite images > World Government i.e. US > SCP Foundation / GOC / Etc. Armed confrontations resulting in unexpected typhoons directed to them. Upon finding this ability, there was a proposal basically saying, due to potential dangers of this creature's ability to create artificial typhoons, it is in the world's best interest to confine the SCP into an actual "containment."

There’s an incident later which resulted to zero surviving casualties where they decided to "contain" the SCP when the eclipse was about to finish. It is recommended to operate at this time because typhoons would be smaller since it takes time to form. Also because the SCP will drown itself once the Sun is out thinking its some kind of weakness. At the end, they all met with a massive typhoon generated so quickly and powerful that they all drowned. And no bodies was found after the incident.

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Then a few years later, most of them came back for unknown reason. They’re living a new life occasionally taking a glance on the people they left behind.

The mystery was, why didn’t they all go back to the foundation? And yes, they remember being a part of the foundation and still made the choice to stay out of them for unknown reasons.

And the second mystery question was, is this related to SCP-XXXX or just another anomaly that happened to cross link with it. After all SCP-XXXX shows no other ability than what the foundation know as typhoon maker.

And as for Azzaia, she wanted to be assigned to the SCP that presumably killed her parents but was denied because of her relations. Basically, she’s a potential hazard as she might take revenge and thereof denied [of] SCP-XXXX.

Note that all of the people who reappeared are part of the incident and nothing else. Everything seems to be connect to SCP- XXXX. And some of the people who were presumed dead came back to the foundation after their existence was known, so its not that they're confined in whatever ways possible that prevented them from returning.

I will go in depth to the mystery at a later time but for now it's not necessary for the narrative and page type. The SCP's main priority is to Secure, Contain, Protect. Not putting more class - d to die to see whether or not they'll magically revive later. And there aren't any changes of Containment Procedure since its an SCP that doesn't actively harm and let its existence known to the public.

Last edited on 18 Feb 2023 22:49 by Bugtrouble Show more

Re: [Seeking Critique / Greenlight] Umbra's Brilliance

Bugtrouble 18 Feb 2023 23:26

My narrative is indeed odd. We are introduced to an SCP that doesn't really bother anyone and suddenly it was bombarded with attacks and decided to retaliate. Then a mystery of the dead returning to the living. There really isn't anything going on about the SCP other than that and Dr.Name and Azzaia's story links to the incident that was caused by the SCP.

To summarize, Dr. Name's story is letting go something, whereas Azzaia was holding onto something.

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Dr. Name is a researcher, assigned to a new SCP. Everything seems according to plan until there are situations he isn't ready for and made grave decisions. Ashamed of his action and after multiple contemplation, he decided he'd rather live his new life than be assigned somewhere he knows he's not up to the task. In his own way, he is preventing another potential incident similar to what he experienced. Dr. Name is indeed a good researcher, and his added experience and wisdom could have made greater contributions to the foundation. Too bad he doesn't realize that himself.

Azzaia upon finding out her parent's death, she was determined to live up to their "Legacy." She is a great agent as she put herself in high expectations. However those expectations burdens her to the point she thought she is seeing thing. Seeing her frowning parents pass by her only to disappear when she tried to look back. Not to mention they only appears each and every birthday she had prior to the incident. After that she became obsessed with SCP-XXXX as her parents keeps haunting her thinking there must be a connection to this. [Remember that Azzaia wasn't the only one who experience these instances, and SCP Foundation basically have to forcefully confine these people to come back to "life" as in returning to their previews lives.] Then they met once again, a reunion that should be full of delight filled with scolding as her parents stated that she should have lived her life the way she wanted, not to be confined where she is now. Nevertheless, a happy ending as they hug one another.

Dr. Name living his new life away from dangerous creatures only found in the foundation and Azzaia reunited with her parents who were presumed dead, now living and continue to live their life within confined of the foundation.

I guess the massage here is, given the choice would you start a new life completely far away from your old one. Or would you waste your life in someone else's legacy.

Last edited on 19 Feb 2023 20:38 by Bugtrouble Show more

Re: [Seeking Critique / Greenlight] Umbra's Brilliance

Zoobeeny 19 Feb 2023 22:27

Rereresummoned via PM.

This will be my final critique of this idea.

Let's get started.

Right now, from what I understand, we have Name and Azzaia. This SCP somehow killed a whole bunch of people, and then those people came back. Azzaia ends up seeing her parents and they reunite. Name ends up traumatized and staying rather isolated in the Foundation.

So let me go through the problems with the core components.

Character:
Your characters are largely goalless. We have Name who is just… there? I don't know what this character does, he's just present.

Azzaia has a goal of "living up to the legacy of her parents", which is fine, except for the fact that she works at the Foundation. Having this goal would make sense if there was some kind of pressure on her to do that, but we don't even know who her parents were. And it's rather hard to gauge the success of Foundation personnel (outside of a few key researchers), so it just feels kind of contrived or arbitrary. Why does she have this goal? What legacy did they leave? It's too much grandstanding and I just don't really connect well with this kind of goal.

Conflict:
There is no conflict here, as far as I can tell. Name, having no goals, has no conflict. Nothing is stopping him from achieving his goal because he has no goal.

Azzaia has no conflict either. She's just trying to live up to her parents and then she sees her parents, and they just tell her "to live her own life", which is a fine message, but you're beating people over the head with this message, which makes the article sound preachy. Which is bad, don't do that.

Conclusion:
There's no real conclusion. Azzaia kind of just says, "oh you're right, let me stop doing what I do, which is saving the world." There's no real catharsis there, mostly because there's no real conflict.

The bigger issue, in my opinion, is that her parents came back to life. That kind of removes all stakes from this article. Once we see that her parents are back, the conflict and goals that Azzaia feels falls apart. She no longer needs to live up to her parents' legacy… because they're right there. The story is over at that point and the whole story therefore feels entirely pointless.

It's like reading a story where everyone ends up dying except the main character. Normally, we're supposed to feel bad, but then the main character pulls out a time machine and then everyone comes back basically. You've robbed the readers of catharsis, of emotional release. And that can completely ruin a story.

And through this whole thing, the SCP being able to create typhoons and being a snake/dragon thing is completely unused. Like, why on earth would we be reading any of this in a document about a snake/dragon thing that can create typhoons?

---

Overall, I feel like you've got several disparate ideas all clashing. Your characters aren't the worst thing I've seen, but they need work. More importantly, though, you need to flesh out the narrative, specifically the conflict. As it is now, you have a series of events where the reader just sort of follows along, but doesn't really engage.

I highly suggest reading this guide to better reformat your idea. It's all over the place and is missing a lot of the important bits.

Last edited on 19 Feb 2023 22:27 by Zoobeeny Show more

Re: [Seeking Critique / Greenlight] Umbra's Brilliance

(account deleted) 18 Feb 2023 07:58

darn. im not familiar with the mythology so all i can do is wish you luck on your way of realizing this scp!! I definitely feel your passion as a fellow writer :]

keep it up
-Murph

Critique Team - Captain Post

Zyn 18 Feb 2023 08:04

Murph3y does not match any existing user name, to better help the author, can you go more in-depth with your response? Currently your post does not indicate whether you actually like the concept or not, or any particular points of interest.

For more information on giving critique in this forum, please see this thread: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/forum/t-9804362/so-you-want-to-be-a-concept-reviewer

Re: Critique Team - Captain Post

(account deleted) 18 Feb 2023 08:14

Thanks zyn!

edit: Maybe Bugtrouble could write this scp to be educational for a reader like me?

Last edited on 18 Feb 2023 08:28 by (account deleted) Show more

Re: Critique Team - Captain Post

Zyn 20 Feb 2023 08:03

What do you mean by "educational"? How should the author change the concept to address this?