[Seeking Greenlights] Protagonist Knows What You Know

Summary:

If the protagonist could read the SCP article about himself.

[Seeking Greenlights] Protagonist Knows What You Know

Zhun_AO 18 Jan 2023 15:26

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: Tale

Genre: Mystery, Action

Elevator Pitch: What if the protagonist is forced to see through the eyes of the reader? If the story's narrative is revealed to protagonist the same way it is to the reader, they might able to resolve its issues better/avoid dumb decisions.

Central Narrative:
There are two male middle-school students: Jun Jie, who is annoying to everyone but cannot understand why; Zhun, whom is the only one who bears with Jun Jie's obnoxious behavior, because he can empathize with him.

Jun Jie finds a black glove which can make him as invincible and unstoppable as he is stubborn. He then causes a few incidents in the school, though in secret so nobody knows who did it. However, somehow Zhun knows about everything and confronts Jun Jie about his glove.

Additional Notes:
The glove's invincibility is not literally correlated to Jun Jie's stubbornness. It is a metaphor for how no one can stop a truly stubborn boy from doing what he wants. Also, Zhun is the one who reads from the reader's perspective, and he does not know that he is in a SCP article. In addition, Zhun is the protagonist, while Jun Jie is the secondary protagonist who later become Zhun's antagonist.

This ability was originally imagined as "if a TV program character could see all that the viewer sees".

Last edited on 18 Jan 2023 15:27 by Zhun_AO Show more

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Protagonist Knows What You Know

TopHatBionicle 19 Jan 2023 00:18

I am not an official reviewer/greenlighter, just going through the forums looking at posts.

Ok, I gotta admit: I was going to post something very similar, although with a different focus. I was going to have a story with a protagonist who is just aware of the narrator, and to an extent can interact with them. They would try to avoid doing what the narrator wanted, but it would ultimately be futile because every attempt to do so was already written by the narrator. In mine, the "narrator" was the antagonist.

+ Show Twist

The twist is that the narrator leads the man unwittingly to the Foundation, where (after many tests) they figure out that he is being controlled by a member of SCP-001 (aka a writer on the SCP wiki), and that, technically, everyone in the universe is controlled by the SCP wiki writers. He's just the only one aware of it.

Maybe we could start a whole series of self-aware characters. I think a few already exist.

Ok, enough about my ide, let's talk about yours. I really like it, especially with the central narrative NOT being about the character being self-aware, very unique. The main struggle, I think, would be conveying the idea of him being aware of the tale without focusing on it, otherwise it might just seem like he knows random things. Still, great idea if you can figure out how to do it!

Hope this helps, looking forward to seeing this in an article!

-T.H.B.

---

-T.H.B.

Last edited on 19 Jan 2023 00:18 by TopHatBionicle Show more

Your twist is a let-down

Zhun_AO 19 Jan 2023 03:27

Before I read your twist I felt:

• anticipation
• motivation

After I read your twist I felt:

• disgust
• disappointment
• worry for you

I'm no expert, but as a reader, if that is the twist of your story then it seems cliché. This is because I already read the "SCP-001 S Andrew Swann's Proposal" article, so when I start reading your article I would think that "the SCP world being controlled by horror writers" is a set rule in the story.

The idea of the SCP Foundation discovering this rule through your protagonist makes for an OK non-twist ending. It makes your story seem like a prequel to S Andrew Swann's Proposal.

However, if you want make a twist ending that resonates with the reader, you should probably have the protagonist find out more about the antagonist, the writer. e.g. why the writer choose to make the protagonist self-aware. Then, maybe you can have the protagonist come to terms with the writer.

That would make me feel

• enlightned
• hopeful
• at peace

Last edited on 19 Jan 2023 03:53 by Zhun_AO Show more

Re: Your twist is a let-down

TopHatBionicle 24 Jan 2023 01:11

Honestly, the twist was entirely based on "S Andrew Swann's Proposal". So everything you said is both true and valid. (Not entirely sure why that makes you worry for me, but I appreciate the concern!) And taking what you said into account, I agree, that's not a good twist. It was actually meant to be more of a sequel/reference to that proposal; My idea was that the O5 council and reader would realize it's SCP-001 but no one else would. But you're right, that's not a twist if the reader knows it. I should develop the idea more. Very glad you liked it initially though!

Also thank you for critiquing my idea, even though this post SHOULD be about critiquing yours!

-T.H.B.

---

-T.H.B.

Re: [Seeking Greenlights] Protagonist Knows What You Know

scalykitty 19 Jan 2023 16:40

Hey!

+ show block

What if the protagonist is forced to see through the eyes of the reader?

This is an interesting concept, but meta fiction has been done a lot, so you'll have to develop this a bit more to have your idea stand out. As far as I can tell from the rest of your pitch, you don't actually use this idea at all. How do you plan to execute on this concept within the narrative that you have presented?

There are two male middle-school students: Jun Jie, who is annoying to everyone but cannot understand why; Zhun, whom is the only one who bears with Jun Jie's obnoxious behavior, because he can empathize with him.

These characters are fine, if a bit basic. How do they "see through the eyes of the reader?" I don't really see that concept executed within this narrative.

Jun Jie finds a black glove which can make him as invincible and unstoppable as he is stubborn. He then causes a few incidents in the school, though in secret so nobody knows who did it. However, somehow Zhun knows about everything and confronts Jun Jie about his glove.

This works as a character progression, but as before it's a bit basic. How does this conflict resolve? How does Zhun know what's going on? What does he tell Jun Jie when he confronts him?

Zhun is the one who reads from the reader's perspective, and he does not know that he is in a SCP article

This doesn't come up within the narrative. If you plan to include this, you should make sure you know where/how you plan to include it. How does Zhun see that he is a written character? Why? Why do you have a secondary plot about a glove?

Zhun is the protagonist, while Jun Jie is the secondary protagonist who later become Zhun's antagonist.

I got the opposite sense from your narrative. It seems like Jun Jie is the protagonist, and you treat Zhun like a secondary character. When does Jun Jie become an antagonist?

Best of luck!

Re: The story might be better presented in video than words

Zhun_AO 20 Jan 2023 00:58

I'm still working on the story and character introductions. I have a very detailed idea of the characters of Jun Jie and Zhun, but there's only so much of them I can describe in the small post above. The black glove is supposed to be a plot device. Finally, I'll do more research on other meta fiction.