There are a few formatting errors, and the log interviewing the team members could probably be cut, but other than that it's pretty alright.
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-7063.
(account deleted)Agent [REDACTED]: Where do I begin…Agent [REDACTED] requested permission to drink some of what he believed to be milk. I denied his request, but he complained that it was hot, and another team member confirmed that it was indeed hot.
Dr. █████: So you let him take a drink?
Agent [REDACTED]: It was hot. I felt bad for the kid. I couldn’t have known what would have happened.
This is very redundant. I'd suggest changing "but he complained that it was hot" to "but he started complaining about how hot it was" and cutting off the team member confirmation. As for "It was hot. I felt bad for the kid", you could probably change it to something like "He seemed desperate, I felt bad for the kid."
He was unresponsive at first, still thrashing around, but then he was fulling catatonic.
Is this supposed to be "fully"?
5 days after SCP-7063’s discovery, SCP-7063-1 was found dead via hanging in a storage closet at Site-19.
This doesn't seem correct - the foundation knows this guy has been affected by an anomaly. They probably wouldn't let him roam free.
Other than that, this is kind of simple. Maybe there's something i'm missing, but this is still well executed. Upvoted.
Thank you for your suggestions. I have made edits to the page regarding the plot hole of The Foundation allowing someone affected by an anomaly to freely roam around a facility, by himself.
SCP-7063 is a white liquid that resembles milk
Okay, I'm with you so far…
and is of the unidentifiable composition of an undeterminable amount,
What does this mean?
though it is assumed to be infinite.
I think you were trying to say something like "SCP-7063 is a white liquid that resembles milk. Its composition has not been determined. The volume of SCP-7063 is anomalous; the bottle does not appear to empty as the liquid is consumed or poured."
The Foundation should probably at least try to determine the composition of this liquid (and document the results) before feeding it to D-class, don't you agree?
Noting that the image contained in this article is noncompliant with CC BY-SA 3.0 and as such has been removed.
an agent found a glass bottle filled with what was eventually discovered to be SCP-7063 inside a clear glass bottle
Unless it's nested bottles, this is wrong.
Dr. █████: Just for convenience’s sake, you and the rest of your team members excluding Agent [REDACTED] will be referred to as simply “Team Member” and one through three. You are Team Member One.
This whole bit is real bad. Doesn't serve the entry at all and I'd recommend removing. It can be assumed that all Foundation Staff already understand the concept of code names and obfuscated info. Just give each team member a designation.
While we're on the subject, just blank out names or leave them in. Why is one Agent Redacted, but the other Expunged? I'm guessing because that's a way to differentiate them, but there are many much more elegant ways.
I like the core idea of the entry, and think it's got some promise, but it deffo needs some work, and fleshing out.
After quite a while, I've decided that this article deserved some overhauling. I've changed pretty much everything besides the text for the suicide note (and even then, I did cut a couple of lines.) The link to the source of the image is found by clicking the caption. I'm pretty sure that that qualifies as citing my source, but if it doesn't, then I'll remove it. Happy reading!
/forum/t-15440388/scp-7063#post-
page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
