Video and audio documentation of each test are mandatory along with the age at the time of testing. SCP-XXXX is to be sealed within its locker and drainage initiated in the event of increased excreted tears until ceasing
This is worded weird, I suggest cleaning up the clinical tone. A suggestion: "Video and audio must be documented for all tests. SCP-XXXX is to be sealed within its locker and drainage initiated during a Leakage Event (See Addendum XXXX-2)."
"Leakage Event" can have a cooler name. Anyway, wouldn't Foundation scientists already know that they should be recording everything?
Item Description:
Just Description:, "Item" isn't needed.
SCP-XXXX is a large white plush rabbit doll weighing 2kg with a pink stomach, white ears with pink insides, white feet with pink toes, a white tail, a black plastic nose, and clear eyes.
You don't have to go into specific detail of the anomaly's appearance unless its important to the plot, my suggestion:
SCP-XXXX is a large white plush rabbit doll weighing 2kg with a pink stomach, white ears with pink insides, white feet with pink toes, a white tail, a black plastic nose, and clear eyes.
A red silk patch is sewn on the front left foot, containing a button connected to a speaker and microphone system within the stomach of the rabbit with a white plastic vent on the back that allows the devices to work.
When pressed, the eyes on the item will glow pink indicating activation. The test subject should remain half a meter away from the item and speak clearly for proper feedback.
The contents in the first footnote don't need to be bold.
The item will not respond to any more button presses once complete unless another family member had died soon after pressing.
This sentence is confusing. It implies that in the event the button is pressed multiple times, the only way to get it to shut up again is to wait until the presser loses another family member to 'reset' the rabbit.
the item will deactivate until the correct family member
Sentence unfinished.
Attempts to dissect the item to access the speaker and microphone are inconclusive and the outermost layer and stitching seams are indestructible.
This is long and cumbersome, I suggest:
Due to the object's anomalous nature, all attempts to access the speaker and microphone have failed.
Possibly indicate in the description that the rabbit's material is indestructible?
[…]SCP-XXXX excretes tears of saltwater for varying times and amounts depending on the proximity of the subject to their family member (See Tests 2 and 2-2 ).
I suggest:
[…]tears will form on SCP-XXXX's plastic eyes.
also:
for varying times and amounts depending on the proximity of the subject to their family member (See Tests 2 and 2-2 ).
I don't feel this information is needed.
recite bizarre statements
The clinical tone is off, what other words can be used other than "bizarre"?
Digital Copy of Note
This is beautiful.
Intrusted to
"Instructed to"
It's a huge shame to Dr. Hadrian
I recall this section going differently; that the researcher didn't know his cousins had recently passed, so the rabbit's response had caught him even more off guard. As a reader, the other delivery was stronger.
Note: Dr. Henry, theorized that perhaps SCP-XXXX could have connections to the afterlife and the note left was the previous owner explaining it to be divinely blessed.
I suggest taking this out, it feels like its forcing the point/conclusion on the reader instead of showing the reader or letting the reader piece it together themself.
excretes
The overuse of this word is tiring to the reader.
