I finally managed to make an SCP out of an image. ^_^
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Needs more. The language could use some tightening up. For some reason referring to 'its attack' bothers me.
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Any ideas how to change that bit of it, at least, for the better?
A little, I can concede, but a lot? It has the statue-appearance and people-killing parts and that's it.
Start your reading, voting and Handy Tips Phor Phixing anew!
I'm not sure whether my opinion of this in general is positive or negative, but I would just like to say that "Autopsy revealed that his heart had exploded" has to be the funniest thing I've heard in read in a serious SCP. In this context. This is a good thing.
Okay, so the Mass has crossed over here and left the vote strongly pointing at Edit. Trouble is, I'm dry of ideas for just how. I left what happens inside the SCP vague partly because it seemed better that way, but partly because I didn't know what happens. And still don't, really. The whole point of the redesign was to save it from the doom that was befalling the entry as a killer statue.
So at this point, I need help.
Keeping what happens inside a mystery is one thing; making it a complete non sequiter is another. [DATA EXPUNGED] is at its best when it suggests something horrible to the reader, but leaves it to them to imagine the worst. In this SCP I feel like there is very little information suggesting what goes on, the small bits we do get seem to have no relation to each other (subject dies, subject rants about the end of the world, subject comes out with shiny new toy, all subjects mysteriously refuse to even mention what went on … huh?). In the end I'm unable to think of anything that could reconcile these phenomena, and the scant impressions I do have are hardly compelling or horrifying.
I just read my comment and it's a little harsher than I meant to be. I think the SCP could work, just tighten up the implications and try to come up with some sort of narrative that leaves ominous implications rather than complete randomness.
Think closer. It's not just randomness. The people aren't arbitrarily refusing to speak of what happened to them — there has to be a reason. Why would someone continue not to bother fessing up under pain of execution? And why would a subject die suddenly in the middle of a sentence that started "It was a"?
There are things working inside the cloak of the Expunge.
Ok, if you had something in mind I couldn't make heads or tails of it, and editing that part of it would help my appreciation of it. YMMV
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Start Date: 10/5/09
End Date: 10/16/09
Well, I am looking for help…
I have to agree with the above as to the advice. The hints are… too vague. I couldn't gather anything at all until I read the discussion. Even then, all I can guess is that confessing would have consequences to the subject that would persist even if they died, and that whatever the "it" is killed the subject in question for trying to admit it. Not much to go on, and I get the impression you were trying to be a bit more clear about it.
What you have to remember is that it will seem obvious to you, because you already know the answer. You need to give more information than you think is necessary for other people to be able to figure it out.
Dropping a few more hints regarding just what "it" was would help greatly. From what's here, I know that it kills people who try to talk about it, and apparently punishes them somehow after their deaths… but beyond that, it could be anything. A demon, a squid, a particularly large, misshapen potato…
Well, to start off… did I seriously use "teh" in the title of this mess? X_X
The only thing obvious to me that I thought should be deducible (Hey, Firefox says it's a word) is that there's a connection between the SCP, the unwillingness of its targets to reveal, and that sudden death. Really, I don't have a tinker's clue what actually goes on inside; I never gave that aspect any thought because it didn't seem necessary, what with the Foundation's inability to get data on it.
I think the main issue that is arising here is that it's not unknown information because it's impossible to get to, but because the subject refuses to give it up. The Foundation can make you talk, whether you want to or not. The fact that what happens is just being withheld is the big gear-grinder, i think.
Now…if perhaps the subjects come out with the section of their brain used for memory looking like a old sponge, and attempting to send in recording equipment returns…horrible things for a few seconds before breaking, i think people would be more supportive.
Protip: If you look at your new SCP, and don't feel a little uneasy about your own mental state, or worry that others might think you're starting to get unhinged, it probably needs a bit more work.
They can? Okay, now that I was unaware of. If I can get an extension from the Page Munching Demon, that could be worked in… I just have to figure out what's going on in there.
Unless… is it an actual pull-things-out-of-the-mind method or a way to make them talk? Cuz compulsory revelation is still gonna be stopped by sudden death, like that one guy who tried to speak up. That much I know — talking about it (or attempting) causes death, but just having the knowledge stored in your spongy bits is "safe". Unless maybe the mind-reading apparatus explodes or something?
Oh! I just realized there could be some kind of test done on at least one thing that gets brought back. Needs something more than just wish-fulfillment, though…
My mental state is a big chunky nebula. I'm not really affected by horror, for some reason, so it's tough to gauge what makes a "success".
scp-484 is our friend. I remember seeing another one (a liquid allowing the transfer of information from one person to another) somewhere, but I don't remember what number it was.
I'm not really affected by horror either, so I generally assume that if something succeeds in creeping me out, it will someone else as well. Results have been… mixed.
First shot at a look on the inside. Thoughts?
Better.
It is a tad disconcerting that someone who starts out an interview with "Y'all are outta yo' minds, man!" ends it with "twisted so far through dimensions I don't think there's words for it", though.
Well, the theory was that a broken finger and forced sedation made him more willing to cooperate. I think he likes his fingers.
Tossed a edit at it. Let me know if it's rubbish. Just trying to tweak the tone and add a little more unsettling edge.
Me likey, for most. Not quite sure about the "looks like crying" bit though…
I liked that bit particularly. This article is so muuch better now.
I admit, I was stretching a little with that. I was trying to play off that weird dream-logic that can replace complex, intangible things with more mundane symbols. Like how a toaster can stand for a failing relationship or something.
After the bomb that was an old version of SCP-753, I am much relieved to see this one rating positive now. I'd also appreciate a pre-emptive helping hand toward making sure 556 and 659 survive the wipe.
Oh my god, I forgot 566 was mine too… but it's sitting on a positive right now so I'm not as worried for it.
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page revision: 2, last edited: 15 Jan 2023 15:06
